News of the world sez

For celebrity big brother...

Robert Kilroy Silk ~ ha ha yes please

Paul Michael-Glaser ~ blimey YES PLEASE I did have rather a crush as a small child

Lauren Harries ~ no god not again wasn't 'trust me I'm a beauty therapist' enough

Justin Hawkins ~ no ta

Shilpa Shetty ~ 'Bollywood hottie' I have no idea

Dirk Benedict ~ I keep think he's a porn star but apparently in the A Team

England Cricketer Wins Something Shocker

Mark Ramprakash won 'Strictly Come Dancing' . Tonight's was the only one I've watched, and only then because my son was quite interested in the programme that was 'like dancing on ice without ice'.

I hope they get Shane to do the next series, I would definitely watch that.

Today I saw my first Celeb BB trailer. Starts Jan 3rd. Hmmmmmmm ...

Oh and the Lembit/Gabriela story just gets better and better. Entertainment news story of the year, undoubtedly. Awards should be awarded for getting the Cheeky Song on Newsnight. In his honour I am giving him a tag all of his own (oh yes we are all beta-ed up and labeltastic now).

he just can't get enough

That Lembit Opik, eh? No sooner has he split up with one reality teevee star than he's touching the bum of another.

Things I need to know: after her 'triumph' on IAC extra, is Kelly still on for the Project Catwalk gig? Fashion has no mercy, after all

Ex factor ho ho

I'm looking forward to the X Factor final tonight to see just how rubbish and long drawn out it is possible to make a programme. Hopefully Take That will be singing with Leona and rubbish Westlife with rubbish Ray.

I am happy that Strictly's final is next week so no big clash (I'd always choose Strictly over XF though).

On another note Unanimous finally limped to an end with Sian ('young Mum') grabbing the hundred thousand and a bit that was left.

The winner

Ha ha Matt won. I'm happy about that result. No Phina at the final and Faith back in Britain being annoying on the extra shows. Toby desperately trying to get into shot at the end, an arm around Matt and Myleene just to be safe. I thought Jason's last trial was horrible, Matt's pointless and Myleene's good, you can never have enough cheesy pop on tv. I still can't believe she is 9 stone though, did I hear that right on the scale day? She's much thinner than the HearSay days and she wasn't big then.

No Eton Road tonight. BAD X Factor. They would of been good for Barry Manilow week! Hopefully Ray will go or smug Ben...

Vote Matt

Jason, Myleene and Matt left. I'm afraid (and surprised) I now like a (thankfully ex) member of Busted. How did that happen? I wouldn't mind Myleene winning but VOTE MATT...

Rumours

First Adam Ant is rumoured for Celeb Big Brother (well he has got a book out) and now... Marc Almond... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO don't do it Marc. I'd have to watch 24 hours a day and tape it all. I couldn't cope. I'm sure they are just plucking 80's icons out of a hat now. It will not happen. It must not happen. Any other 80's type is free to make a fool of themselves but not Marc.

IAC...

When I saw they had a spelling test on IACGMOOH I said that they'll be getting out the scales next as they do both on Love Island (R.I.P) and they did!

I'm a bit bored of IAC too but the task yesterday was good. I'm sick of David Guest being a sexist git and all the Jan 'omg she's old but she said she'd take her clothes off omg ha ha ha ha' on all of the IAC programes. It is tedious.

bored now

Is it just me or has IAC gone all dull now? maybe I am not paying enough attention (eg turned over to watch Gordo swearing at people last night) but then why am I not paying attention? because it's dull. Go on Jason, go ape with a machete. Still at least Aung San Suu Kyi Malandra got evicted last night hah.

the struggle is her life

Malandra to Deano, on entering 'The Jungle Pit':- "makes you think about Nelson Mandela and people like that doesn't it". She should've been evicted last night just for that.

Boooooooooooooo

Eton Road out. I'm sure last week they said there was no judges vote this week. FIX! Good to see smug boring Ben in the bottom two. HA HA! That lion king song is a boring song they should of done another Abba song, sparkly is the way forward for Eton Road. I expect their recording career (I will itune their first single that'll make up for my non voting) to go the Girls Aloud road as in one good song then one boring cover.

Over on Strictly, Brendan and Clare went. I missed most of their dance as I was busy singing along to the song they were dancing to... I love to love Tina Charles good choice. I think Len needs to go, his grumpy old man with double-entendres act is getting boring. Craig and Arlene are still my fave judges and it annoys me when Len interrupts. I loved the male professionals dancing with The Aloud and the shot of Darren with glasses on. Me like! Strictly is mostly about stalking Darren and Lilia to me.

IACGMOOH - Faith out. I'm very glad she's gone out before Jan.

Only Gay In The Camp Evicted

Hurrah, I read in the papers that Scott got evicted last night. Good riddance to bad rubbish hah.

about last night

Missed tonight's show (bloody Life getting in the way) but Thursday night's rocked. Did I not like Scott's friend on the ITV2 show last night. What did he think about Scott being in the bottom 2? "well it would've been the first time I've known him to be on the bottom." And what of Scott's claustrophobia? "It doesn't affect him in cubicles". Ick.

Methinks Scott and his maters belong to the nasty misogynistic branch of gayness, and his friend is just vile. Scott's upset at the return of the women to camp was not nice either. Bad Man.

Meanwhile David Gest is genius. Quite clearly Not A Gay, he put on a concert party in the jungle. And let Jan sing. Ho ho ho.

Jason is fascinating me most, tho. He seems to be going into some kind of reverie. I fully expect him to terminate with extreme prejudice the nexxt person to sing excerpts from 'Joseph', then lope off into the jungle and disappear, living on raw bush tucker and carrying out guerilla attacks on future IAC camps, eventually being persuaded to surrender in 30 years time.

Devastated

The evil itv have scrapped Love Island.

The second series was hit by a series of departures and a fight between former Hollyoaks star Lee Otway and dancer Brendan Cole.

Yes that was good. I liked that. What's not to like about that?

Well done Phina

For all sorts of reasons but for being responsible for a useless boy man leaving first especially.

Shame it wasn't Matt but Toby was a bit rubbish anyway (as in wasn't featured much). I was slightly surprised Scott wasn't in the bottom two, my faith in the voting public has been restored as I thought they'd kick the troublemakers out. I thought they only had fireworks etc for the winner? It's a bit much for the first LOSER out.

I see at digi spy at least one person was confused if the voting was to stay or go... I didn't think that was stated that clearly and that the eviction was that night. Clear as mud itv.

I hope Phina stays tonight she must get more votes than Malandra surely? It just seems 100% improved when they are actually kicking people out, like the show has properly started. Even the itv2 show was ok!

Tonight's trial is being done (I think) by Jason, Matt and Malandra.

I hope the girls women win immunity

The boys men are obviously too stupid to cope in a fake jungle as seen by their celebrity chest answers two days running. My favourite thing of the last celebrity chests have been the 'WHOOOOO?' remarks when they have seen the little pics of celebs that come with the chests (Jeff 'I am rubbish' Brazier and Torvill and Dean in this case).

I need Phina to stay in please.

I see Kelly is still on itv2... hmph. Itv2 should be abolished I've decided (except when it shows American Idol oh and the Xtra Factor maybe).

blog your way into the BB house

You'll soon be able to audition for Big Brother without leaving your bedroom, as C4 make e4.com into the new myspace. And the rest of us can point, laff and vote (clicking the vote button will presumably cost 50p plus standard network rate)

one week in

I have to admit to really loving this series of I'm A Celeb. Putting David Gest in there was pure genius and the mix of celebs is just right. Jan's snake trial last night was really good. Watching her face her fears with Jason (love him) giving her helpful cheerful encouragement "He's only coming to say hello!" was good TV. And the camp's reaction to her constantly going on about it was funny.... Well, she does go on and on and on......
But why are the public voting for her all the time. I want to see Matt and Toby and Myleene do something. Jan is not going to cope with those evil looking ostriches.
Wonder if the bug eating trial is happening this time. I hate it and personally (being a virtual vegetarian) think it's cruel. I am not particularly liking or gelling with Faith (she's dull) Phina (she's a bitch) and Lauren is okish but she really thinks she's all that and more.
No favs to win ATM . No one stands out yet. Hope it's not a one horse race though and the teeny voters haven't got their fingers twitching on Matt (though I like him)

public service blogging

I'm glad to see our blog is helping googlers find the answers to some of life's eternal questions eg why Mark not Brendan on ITV2? where is brendan burns itv2? who is david guest married to? and who sang too many broken hearts?. Always happy to be of service - as our mission statement says, we watch so you don't have to.

I'm a Survivor get me out of here (and into another camp)

IAC morphs into Sleb Survivor as the slebs are split into two camps tonight; the camps will compete against each other for food and immunity from eviction.

a woman after our own heart

Kathryn Flett, The Observer's tv reviewer, she loves the jungle too.

Perhaps it's the cheque, but the more you think about it the more seductive it all sounds ... Australia in November, a few days in the Versace Hotel, a chance to get back on the telly without having to wear spangly shoulder pads ... whatever. So off you go to take your place alongside the freaks and the has-beens, the sweethearts and the wannabes. And within two or three days of reappearing on our screens, what happens? The entire nation loathes you!

Hats off to Jan - that takes some doing.
....
what with Jason Donovan and (the charming, likeable, modest, hopelessly insecure) David Gest as new best friends, numerous sightings of Myleene Klass in a bikini (allegedly of interest to some) and Thursday night's semi-heroic (we take our 'heroes' where we find them these days) entrance of Dean Gaffney into the jungle, after surviving the most vile bushtucker trial yet devised, this is shaping up to be the finest I'm a Celebrity ... yet. Isn't telly great!

headline of the week

well done Sunday Mail subs with I'M A CELEB GET IT OUT OF REAR

CELEB star Jason Donovan suffered a jungle trial of his own yesterday - when a cockroach crawled up his bum.

Doctors rushed into camp with tweezers to help the ex-Neighbours actor after he failed to dislodge the bug.

All the news!

First, Kelly's out

Kelly Osbourne is to be axed from ITV2's I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here Now! spin-off show.

The 22-year-old has apparently failed to impress producers with her diva-like demands on set and "wooden" on-screen performance.

The news comes just days after comic Brendan Burns was ditched by bosses.

I read (didn't see it last night) Jeff Brazier is the new emergency itv2 co presenter in Oz. Is that it? Jeff Brazier on his own now? I'm loving all this swapping presenters itv2 malarky it's more entertaining than any of the show.

Bottom two traumas

FFS Eton Road and Robert in the bottom two on the X Factor what a bizarro world it is with the Maccy D's and Ray having people actually spend money to vote for them to stay in. I'm glad Eton Road got to stay but poor Robert. I'm still hoping for an actual Eton Road career outside of the X Factor. Anthony is in the notw in a story which explains the extreme thinness of the auditions and bootcamp stages.

Darren Bennett (and Emma) in the bottom two on SCD I think the voters must be sick of some of the judges Spice worship. Schmeichel (and Erin) out, I liked the shot of his son last week in pain at his Dad's dancing.

In IACGMOOH news Jan is in a tabloid wife swap shocker!!!!!!!! Ahem. In the sunday mirror.

Celebrity star Jan Leeming ditched her husband to wed a Red Arrows flying ace in a real-life wife-swap.

In a bizarre twist, the husband she walked out on then married the RAF pilot’s wife.

In an exclusive interview, he said: “I wasn’t exactly a happy bunny.

That's not bizarre. I repeat, people voting for the Macs and Ray in X Factor is bizarre...

I do watch some rubbish genius shows

Including watching Steve Strange breaking the world record for the number of heads shaved in an hour. I may have watched most of the hour as well...

I'm so annoyed at channel 4 moving Unanimous without informing me. Grrrrrrr. I ended up recording an hour of The Simpsons instead. Hmph!

Never mind Eton Rd are doing Scissor Sisters tonight. Woo hoo! I'm easily pleased.

I hope the rumours of Paula Hamilton (ex model and Britain's Next Top Model bitch judge) on IACGMOOH are true. They probably aren't but I can hope. When is this second camp happening anyway?

you are live on teevee, please do not sing

Poor Jan must've failed to make the short list for "the two of us" and "sleb fame academy". No wonder with her voice but she doesn't need to inflict it on us from the jungle. and Bad David for encouraging her.

Highlights of the past 24 hours

Obviously Dean Gaffney but also

Tandy Andy Anderson's annoyed face when Marianne went out of MMAS.

Luke whooping when Marianne went out of MMAS (yes you're glad to be still there but you could look a bit sad at your 'girlfriend' going.

Tandy Andy Anderson's glee when Jen went out.

Lee Stafford's reaction on Celebrity Scissorhands when Michele Gayle said she and Steve Strange used to date...

Lee Stafford on CS claiming he was no way gay by saying he didn't understand how a man could prefer a woman... !!!!

Steve Strange on CS cutting a woman's hair by about 3 feet more than she wanted.

The beauty 'guru' woman on CS vomiting after seeing some poor woman's feet then drama queening and insisting she couldn't carry on.

I'm going to miss Steve Strange on my telly.

And my fave thing of the past day

Mark Durden Smith returning to IACGMOOH on itv2 'WTF?!' Was my reaction then cheering and whooping.

HOST Brendan Burns has been dumped by bosses who feared his behind-the-scenes ITV2 show was struggling.

Former presenter Mark Durden-Smith has been called back to save the day. An insider said: "Bosses begged Mark to come back. Everyone's wishing they'd never got rid of him."

I was glad the itv2 show was changing as last year it was a bit rubbish (but then Durdo was away waiting for his twins to be born) but getting rid of Durdo seemed wrong and I am v glad he's back.

Now we just need Kelly Osbourne to leave.

let's twist again

Dean Gaffney. Best bushtucker trial ever (best I've watched this series anyways). Twist it Dean twist it! Him joining the cast is a very promising development.

Over on 5, what a travesty was the finale of MMAS. Albert my @arse. How could the only man who was not plug ugly (ie Luke) get defeated by Mr Pretty Vacant? And I know Jude disagrees with me but for Jen to come above Marianne and Sunnait also a travesty. I did like how when all the beaten ones came back for a line up, hardly any of them could raise more than a bitter scowl. Except Waz was jumping about and whooping it up like a BigBrother contestant. Twunt. Also his top was very very bad.

MMAS Scheduling Alert

OMG I nearly missed the finale of MMAS! Haven't watched for a few days and assumed the finale was on Friday but no, tis tonight. Make a note, boys and girls, tonight at 8.30 on 5. Be there (or be watching IAC. Or be at pilates. What-evva).

that's not a snake David

I agree with Jude. Who'd have thought the entertainment last night would be David Gest? Crikey this has a twang of Ron Jeremy in The Farm.
He's just so funny. He doesn't even have to try. How about the line "I used to go to Michael Jackson's House all the time and play with all the various snakes"
Hmmm
The gay designer Scott is going to be one to watch. Yesterday his "every man for himself" attitude at wanting to leave David and that Phina creature (who is she?) in the water was brilliant.
I can't wait for him to do a trial. They won't eat a thing that night.
I'm not liking Faith or Phina the rest can stay.

David to win! Maybe...

Who'd of thought David Gest would be the normal one? Or is that just me? I don't quite understand 'She's got her head in her vagina' (or some variation of that) but it was an interesting first programme quote!

Other good DG things include calling Lauren Booth 'Cherie' at all times. I like Lauren Booth being saved from a spider by Myleene Klass but that hasn't happened yet on the main bit as I have a time travel machine it was on the teatime extra programme.

The new ITV2 show is quite rubbish. But it had some people from Big Brother's Big Mouth on it which was amusing. Don't just rip off another programme, steal the people off it as well!

ready, steady, jungle

All systems go at 9pm tonight for the latest IACGMOOH. I would normally celebrate with cava & nuts but having discovered I'm heavier than Mrs Gest, I will be sticking to green tea and snackajacks.

How very dare they

Call Brendan a Z lister.

HAS Abi Tit - muss lost her mind? The nurse-turned-wannabe actress pulled out of I'm A Celebrity days before she was due to jet to Australia...after becoming besotted with Come Dancing star Brendan Cole.

I wished she was on IACGMOOH I'm not loving the list that are on and I don't expect David Gest to last very long... I'm not sure I want to see him anyway. I don't like Matt Willis either and I will not change my mind (I might).

On to the weekend...

The wrong Ray went out of reality tv land. Ray SCD not Ray XF. Nikitti's out of X Factor even though people had a chance to kick out annoying Ray. Idiots. I don't believe for a second Simon Cowell was ever going to kick out Ray. The SCD Ray going I blame entirely on reports he is dating Elle McPherson, I'm not voting for someone who's dating a supermodel. Ok I'm not voting at all but especially not for that.

Jen is still in make me a supermodel HA HA HA.

The High Court Judge's Guide to the new IACGMOOH cast

from left to right¹

Matt Willis
was in popular beat combo Busted, now 'pursuing a solo career' hem hem. Proved his sleb credentials by going to the Priory (then left two weeks later after deciding he didn't really have a drink problem after all). Official website borken but he is so down with the kids his record company have made a myspace page for him

Phina Oruche
actress off “Footballers' Wives”, Wikipedia doesn't know about her. Very bonny lass but probably wants to lay off the lipgloss a bit in the jungle.





David Gest
“yeaaah, David”, this year's Jackie
Was married to Liza Minelli, had the worst plastic surgeon ever. TV bods worried his face might melt in da jungle.





Lauren Booth
daughter of randy scouse git, half sister of Cherie, journo & pro-celebrity smoker. This year's Carol Thatcher








Toby Anstis
aka “the Tobester” (ick) - kids' TV presenter & radio dj & dance sensation








Faith Brown
Actress & comedienne, used to appear in tv variety shows before they were abolished, once had her own chat show.













Scott Henshall
fashion designer who not even Wikipedia has heard of, designed the most expensive dress in the world











Myleene Klass
was in Popstars band Hear'say, then reinvented herself as a classical babe. Does the Classic FM breakfast show on Sunday, so the classic fm crew will be biggin her up in da jungle innit. Gets my vote if she plays some nice Chopin nocturnes on the jungle piano.





Jason Donovan
OK everyone knows who he is – Scott in Neighbours, sang “Too many broken hearts”, not a gay, Joseph.















Jan Leeming
BBC newsreader, another one you should've heard of, this year's Jenny Bond


















1. I may have got Matt & Toby the wrong way round but I'm sure Jude will be along to get things right, she have her finger on da pulse and I don't

He's bringing SexyBack to the jungle

After his dancing on the all star talent show to SexyBack quite possibly my favourite thing for many months (well on channel 5 anyway) I may have to support Toby Anstis on IACGMOOH. I hope for much dancing in the jungle.

line up announced

high court judge's guide to follow ...

I'm a sleb contestant rumours part 1

Contestants rumoured to be ...

• David Guest tho 'TV bosses' are worried about his face melting, same report has Jason "not a gay" Donovan blimey, Myleene Klass & Louise Rednapp.
• Malcom Maclaren to be latest old punk to sell out, but he's 'outraged' Myleen might be getting paid more than him
• Abi Titmus "has even pledged to strip off to spice up the show" yawn
• "A trio of ex-boyband members are battling it out for a place"
• Cherie Blair's sister, Chris "Brian Tildsley" Quenten and Paula Wilson, with this year's game old bird to be Jan Leeming.

And in presenter news, Kelly is the new Tara maybe

Over to "Make me a supermodel" .... let's not get things mixed up. Jan should go cos she's a manipulative little stirrer not because she's 'fat' shock horror a size 12 omg that's so vile etc bah.

Monday

I'm a celeb deffo on Monday it's in the radio times and everything so it must be true.

Celebrity Scissorhands live streaming still good. H from Steps was being mean to Michelle from the Apprentice which is good as she was being a bossy cow to Steve Strange. I think H from Steps was only joking though. Shame.

I think Celebrity Scissorhands works best recorded and cutting out the Alex Zane bits.

Dear BBC

Well done on the swearing on the Celebrity Scissorhands live daytime feed it's just like having Big Brother back. So far today Rowetta has given a woman a mans haircut, some naked bloke had his haircut and an annoying Scouse man was complaining about his. The first show with Alex Zane was pretty rubbish but I like the live streaming (press red and all that and it's on the net I think).

Elsewhere in busy busy reality land

Jen survived in the increasingly annoying Make Me A Supermodel. ARGH that Waz I swear he is worse than Sezer.

Ashley went out of the X Factor (the curse of Rosie Ribbons and winner takes it all).

Anton (and Jan) went from Strictly Come Dancing. Poor Anton.

I'm a celebrity ALERT

The teaser ads are on ITV1.

It may start Monday 13th November.

TPT and Mark Duerden Smith/that bloke who was on it last year have been dropped in favour of what sounds like a Big Brother's Big Mouth type show on ITV2. Actually as much as I love MDS and TPT the ITV2 show was due an axe last year let alone this one.

I hope Jasmine 'Nightmare' Lennard and Rachel 'Munter' Hunter (Jasmine's words not mine) are both on I think they have both been rumoured.

It's a shame about Ray

That he hasn't gone of course. I was quite excited about someone from Brookside being on the 'x factor' but that has definitely worn off. Two women out in the shock! (not) double eviction Dionne and Kerrie and Ashley in the bottom three (ha ha serves him right for forgetting his words). I like Leona but not as much as I like the fact that next week is ABBA WEEK! WOO! Eton Rd were rubbish I hate mack the knife.

Over on 'strictly come dancing' her from Casualty and her abusive dancing partner went. SCD should have an ABBA WEEK! WOO! as well.

Supermodel sack shocker

Guess who? Ha ha ha HA HA!

Make Me a Supermodel Extra presenter Jasmine Lennard has been sacked for insulting panel judge Rachel Hunter. Lennard, 21, dubbed Hunter "Rachel munter" on the Extra programme on Five's sister channel Five Life.

I wish I'd watched the Extra show now. In bad MMAS news James (Asda) and Kerrie (Goth) both out. I did lose the will to live through the first bit of the 90 minutes (!?!?) live eviction show yesterday but after a glass of wine it got a bit better... I liked Unanimous but the Extra show of that I turned off after a few minutes. Boring!

Unanimous

I wonder if this will be total rubbish? I forgot it was on! Now if I can't remember a reality show where someone can win a million is on then who will?

I'm more bothered if James gets kicked out of sooperdooper model tonight. Waz be gone. Please.

If I can have one wish this weekend it is Ray to get thrown out of x factor on big band week. That would be good. I hope the rumour of two going is true (that's right I want rid of both of the McDonald Bros ha).

Ridicule is nothing to be scared of

Except on reality tv. Ho ho. Adam Ant to appear on 'Celebrity Big Brother'? At last I may be able to spy on Adam Ant 24 hours a day my 12 year old self would be happy. But then is reality tv a place for 'troubled' people? I think not.

It's the weekend that means me glued to reality tv

SCD - Spoony out hurrah. Well done to judge Bruno Tonioli for saying 'the hills are alive with the sound of bullshit' before 6pm. That was the best bit. I love Bruno.

X Factor - 4sure out boo. I hate Ben. I hate Ben. I hate Ben.

On X Factor Aftermath (it's a show!) when Ben appeared they played Creep hahaha I was very happy about that. Sunday Mirror blah blah Ben sex addict blah...

Anna's suspicions were confirmed when she found love notes from Siobhan to Ben, calling herself his "beautiful Princess Mermaid of the sea".

Eww.

On make me a sooperdooper model they rather cruelly got rid of Jono aka mini Russell from Big Brothers Big Mouth. James is my fave though I liked him in his Asda uniform on the first show.

Five, you are spoiling us

Hurrah I'm back in reality teevee land with the return of Make me a supermodel - now with added Boyz! and now with added Supermodel's Big Mouth Little Brother featuring Anthony "who?" Crank and Jasmine "don't you know who I am?" Lennard and her dodgy wig collection.


And then, as if that wasn't enough excitement, during the show I see trailers for Sleb Salon! "Trust Me I'm a Beauty Therapist" Suzie Quattro gives colonic irrigation!?!?! Starts tonight at 11, crack back & sac fans

Bad night in reality land

Oh noooooooooo. Ian Waite and Mica Paris kicked off SCD shocker! I'm upset. And The Unconventionals kicked off X Factor, what a rubbish night.

People who should of been kicked off -

SCD- Woman from Casualty I've never heard of, partnered by new dancer.

X Factor - Long haired posho Ben. I know he'll probably win so it's good to get my hatred of him out from the start. Also Ray and McDonald Bros and other BOYS who were never going to go first as they are BOYS.

I liked Eton Road I'm not sure why apart from the weirdness of 3 boyband boys and one emo boy. I'm very worried about Anthony he's too thin and looks vunerable. I expect an 'X Factor runied my life' story in 6 months.

The X Factor finalists

16-24s (Simon Cowell)
Ashley
Leonna
Nikitta
Ray

The Groups (Louis Walsh)
4Sure
Eton Road
The MacDonald Brothers
The Unconventionals

Over 25s (Sharon Osbourne)
Ben
Dionne
Kerry
Robert

Our Anthony from Brookside and The Unconventionals are through. I don't think much of Sharon's group, she didn't choose Jonathan I thought he'd go on to the live bit. There really isn't anyone who seems that good. Eton Road should be amusing in the live shows I'm a bit scared of how very thin one of them is. Also scary the 16 year old Shaun who seemed anxious and oddly aggressive, when they filmed him at home his mother had exactly the same voice which made me laugh. He didn't get in thankfully.

Jamie Tinkler go home

I feel a bit sorry for Jamie Tinkler he's always auditioning for these programmes and now he seemed to be in a semi decent boyband (but no one likes boybands anymore) but then ooh we didn't know we had to tell the X factor bosses we were being managed by Ashley Tabor. That's Ashley Tabor who is on the X Factor credits...Ashley Tabor who appeared on the Xtra Factor quite a bit helping (practically managing) the Louis Walsh acts... Hmph!

Anyway double X Factor tonight we shall see if our Anthony from Brookside gets through to the live stage. I hope the Unconventionals get through I think it will amusing...then annoying in a G4 style.

I'm looking forward to SCD Even better a bloke is being kicked out tonight (then a woman next week) as long as it's not Matt the rugby or cricket bloke as he is dancing with The Lovely Lilia.

This just in

Make me a supermodel October 15th channel 5. I've never seen it before but if it's anything like Britain's next top model (and I'm assuming it's practically the same) then it just may be good and it has supplied trust me I'm a holiday rep with participants for two years so I'm assuming it has tears and tantrums in it which is always good.

I've finally seen the final of Britain's next top model I didn't really care who won but I like Lianna's hair best so good result! Abigail was second I secretly wanted Jasmia to beat her but it wasn't to be.

You don't say

Love Island Gascoigne furious with "horrible" Calum

He treated me like a princess. And then he just sh*gged me and f***ed off. I feel completely used by him. He's just a horrible womaniser who only cares about himself.

Umm he's Calum Best that's what he does isn't it? I think anyone who sleeps with Calum Best etc have had enough warning about what they do from the tabloids. You'd think so anyway.

X Factor double bill tonight. Boot camp. At last. Thank god no more auditions.

told you it should've been the Badger

Michelle Dewberry and Sir Alan have "parted company".

A source told the Sunday Mirror: "It just wasn't working out. Sir Alan and Michelle had huge hopes for the partnership when she won the hit BBC2 series. They really felt it would be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

"But it just hasn't worked out the way either side had hoped. It feels like the whole thing has been cursed. There's been one problem after another, and in the end both decided it was best to call it quits."

Very important news

Ahead of the very important Britain's Next Top Model final we have this news.

Miss Clancy's ‘people' have declared she's changed her name to Abbey so she won't be confused with that other glamour girl Abi Titmuss.

She'll always be DRUG SHAME Abigail to me.

And there's more...

IN FRONT of the cameras they are all smiles. But behind the scenes, a series of bitter rows have driven a wedge between Abigail Clancy and the other girls jostling to become Britain's Next Top Model.

All smiles on camera? Umm no!

Trust me I'm an ex butler type

Now that the model has gone hopefully we can now have some reality tv gold. Much better than some model we have a replacement in the shape of Paul Burrell. That's much better why wasn't he in it from the start?

I think the one thing TMIAHR has proved is you can never hear enough Hearsay karaoke.

do you mind?

I know I said I like Mr Rivron but I have no need whatsoever to see his todger in glorious technicolour on my telly box. I feel quite poorly.

I demand to have some jungle!

IAC new series when does it start when when when? Rumours of this year's contestants:

• token nutty American to be David Gest (Liza Minelli's bizzaro ex) ?? Same story says maybe Jasmine Lennard too? Oh yes please she was aces on TMIAHR1
• Digispy have Rachel Stevens, Danny off Emerdale, DJ Wes Butters and Hollyoaks star Gemma Atkinson.
• This year's omg wtf is *he* doing on there old punk self publicist to be Malcom Mclaren?
• Not Colin and Justin off How not to decorate

We will of course bring our 'high court judge's guide' to the contestants when the show starts.

Trust Me I'm a Holiday Rep

Ooh it's back on 5 tonight! I did enjoy last years... Jodie Marsh and that bloke from Corrie it was the romance of the century... On to this years

Lucy Rusedski (tennis WAG) and Andy Goldstein (google tells me that bloke who used to be in those annoying BB talk talk ads) present a new series of the show which follows celebrities as they spend ten days learning how to be holiday reps. Comedian and pundit Rowland Rivron; Noel Sullivan, formerly of pop band Hear'Say; heiress and 'It' girl Emma Jones (google image tells me she's blonde); celebrity chef Nancy Lam; party-loving DJ Brandon Block and model Samantha Rowley (google says she's from make me a supermodel) arrive in Crete and meet head rep Julie.

Maria over bring on the next one

Connie (good Maria) won HDYSAPL Maria. Hurrah. Siobhan (bad Maria) came third ha ha ha. Helena (bottom two Maria) came second unbelievable! I liked the names they gave all the Marias, I don't know why Connie was 'intense Maria' apart from the fact she was scary and intense! My Siobhan torment isn't over though as a 'major record company' want to talk to her about a 'major record contract'. Life is not fair.

Reality news! (apparently)

Pete has dumped Nikki apparently.

IACGMOOH is struggling for celebs apparently. Rachel Stevens (S club) and Gemma Atkinson (hollyoaks apparently?!?!) rumoured.

Lisa Mail! Abigail is still in Britain's Next Top Model. If she doesn't turn up on IACGMOOH or Celeb BB or something I will be surprised or she'll bring out a single or something. Am I the only one who goes all 'awwww' when they show the pic at the end and one fades away... it's sad like when they turn the lights out at the end of BB... anyway no talking about BNTM as I don't get to see it until days after everyone else. Only two programmes left. Lianna, Abigail, Jasmia or Amber? I do not know!

The Match! On sky three on a Friday for all us freeview losers. Mikey BB didn't make it through first round. HA HA!

Strictly Come Dancing Pics

SCD partner pics are up on the BBC website.

Rugby or cricket bloke Matt and The Lovely Lilia look slightly uncomfortable. Maybe he has realised what he's let himself in for.


Emma and The Lovely Darren look like they have been replaced by looky likeys.



Brendan looks still traumatised from Love Island. So would you if you were beaten by Calum 'one L' Best.

Strictly Come Dancing YAY!

Hurry up October. Press release with the new line-up.

Emma Bunton (Spice obv) and The Lovely Darren Bennett
Georgina Bouzova (the usual Casualty one I have never heard of) and James Jordan
Claire King (Emmerdale & Bad Girls) and Love Island loser runner up (was robbed) Brendan Cole
Louisa Lytton (Ruby Eastenders) and Vincent Simone
Mica Paris (singer and new BBC presenter) and Ian Waite
Jan Ravens (Dead Ringers) and (the laydees love him) Anton Du Beke
Carol Smillie (smiley smiley Carol Smilie) and Matthew Cutler

Matt Dawson (rugby) and The Lovely Lilia Kopylova
Ray Fearon (Nathan in Corrie) and Camilla Dallerup
Nicholas Owen (ITV News) and Nicole Cutler
Mark Ramprakash (cricket) and (digi spy forum fave) Karen Hardy
Peter Schmeichel (not dog from Corrie) and Erin Boag
DJ Spoony (DJ obv) and Aleksandra 'Ola' Jordan
Jimmy Tarbuck (Lisa's Dad) and Flavia Cacace

Previous winners - Brendan, The Lovely Darren, The Lovely Lilia. Their celebs better be good, if any of them (and Anton and Camilla and Karen) go out early I will be very annoyed.

tsk tsk tsk

Big Brother draw broke ad rules

Big Brother's Golden Ticket draw to select a new housemate breached prize promotion rules, industry watchdogs have announced.

Nestle, Channel 4 and Endemol failed to have an independent observer present when a winning number was picked, according to the Advertising Standards Authority.

Chick chick chick chick CHICKEN

I'm liking Michelle's myspace page featuring her debut single! Also featuring a main pic where she looks a lot like Nadia.

Poppy in tug of love trauma

DS:BB: Former BB lovebirds fight over pet dog

Melanie Hill and Alex Sibley are at the centre of a custody battle over their pet dog.

The former lovebirds, who appeared in BB1 and BB3 respectively, both want to keep hold of Staffordshire bull terrier Poppy following the end of their three-year relationship.

"Alex and Mel have looked after Poppy since she was a puppy and both of them love her to bits," a friend told the Sunday Mirror. "They can bear to be without each other but not the dog.

"The situation has reached a point where the only way to resolve the case is through the courts. Mel thinks Poppy's better off with her because she has a garden. Alex lives in a converted first-floor flat that doesn't have a garden."

Mel said: "I can't speak about Poppy until after the court case."

Siobhan! Siobhan! Siobhan!

She's now in the final of HDYSAPLM? having been saved by Andrew Lloyd Webber. Argh urg ARGH how annoying. Abi and Aoife went. Aoife sang Footloose when everyone else had musical type songs... And she was v good in the bottom two sing off (obviously Siobhan sang like she was dead inside) but she still went. HMM............ Fix fix FIX! The creepy judge apparently aka as 'the most powerful person in British Theatre' muttered about Siobhan and red blooded males loving her. Red bloodied males just love the sound of music I'm sure! Heterosexual men are the target audience for musicals about nuns all of a sudden! Helena is still there after being in the bottom two all the blinking time. Connie must win. She was top in the votes the first week (the only time they have said who was top) and the others have been in the bottom two so Connie must be more popular. Good.

nice day for a ...

Guy 'wrote Angels' Chambers is said to be planning to turn Pete into The Next Billy Idol. Dear deity-of-choice, wasn't one enough? My mate snogged him once (Billy Idol, not Pete) but is was the 80s and she was ver' ver' drunk.

In other news: next stop, Cat Idol and Starlight X-factor X-press

You too could be coached by Westlife

If you were in a group and umm in the X Factor this year.

ROBBIE Williams, Elton John and Westlife have been signed up to coach the X Factor finalists.

Imagine what you could learn! How to wear white! How to use stools to stop your audience nodding off! Citing!

The Sunday Mirror can also reveal who each judge will look after - Simon will handle the 16- to 25-year-olds, Louis will take the over-25s and Sharon will take care of the groups.

How do you solve a problem like Siobhan?

I give up! I guess Siobhan will win How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria? The judges seem to be doing everything possible to make it happen anyway.

Graham Norton promotes the show on R&J before it starts. They show a clip of a pretty blonde woman who can sing. Richard, Judy and Graham joke that there's no point now as she will obviously win.

Show starts. Siobhan is shown and she's good. But so are others and Siobhan doesn't seem that good now.

Siobhan doesn't make the final 10.
Another person pulls out. Siobhan is in the last 10!

Week one Siobhan sings Man! I Feel Like A Woman.
Siobhan is rubbish but it's ok as she's pretty.

Week two Siobhan sings Chains.
Siobhan is rubbish but it's ok as she sang half of it on the floor.

"I'm nervous, very nervous because I've got to crawl around on the floor. This song is frustration, this is angst and arghh! I am looking forward to it, I'm just nervous."

Week three Siobhan sings Jump.
Siobhan is rubbish but it's ok she's wearing a ra-ra skirt.

Week four Siobhan sings Songbird.
Siobhan is rubbish but it's ok she's still pretty.

Week four (part two) Siobhan is unbelievably chosen from all the other Marias (who could of guessed it would be her?) to sing Truly Scrumptious with some children. Just Siobhan gets to do this. Siobhan Siobhan Siobhan Siobhan we get the point! We must pick up the phone and vote Siobhan. Having said all that she was 3rd fave to go on the BBC sites poll. So the brainwashing hasn't reached everyone yet!

don't you wish you lived in St Alban's?

if you did, you could Win Susie's Bed wooo

Bad The Donald

Tsk, Carolyn Kepcher or The American Margaret as I like to call her has gone. Trump fires Apprentice sidekick.

His new ones are apparently his children...

In BB5 news Nadia is in a spot of bother. The man involved sounds charming...

Project Strictly I'm The Next Top XFactor Celebrity , Get Me Out of the Big Bro Academy Idol

Will Big Brother's Pete Star In 'I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here'?

Oh ffs. Why not just transplant the BB house to the middle of the jungle on a desert island and add an ice-rink & some judges, save our poor addled brains the increasing problem of trying to spot the difference between them all.

Best reality teevee these days is Dragons Den, it's like a bite-sized Apprentice.

The Apprentice USA is back tomorrow

The Apprentice USA
11:20pm - 12:20am
BBC2
1/8

Reality TV series set in New York in which candidates compete for the position of apprentice to real estate mogul Donald Trump. Instead of the usual battle of the sexes, this time it's Book Smarts vs Street Smarts. The first task is to create the most enticing advertisement campaign for a new burger for the Burger King menu, alongside running a Burger King restaurant for a day.

Wednesdays and Thursdays late. In The Apprentice UK news it's switching to BBC1. Boo. I like it on BBC2.

Callum Best? Really?

I nearly couldn't speak when they announced the male winner of Love Island. How the blinking heck did that happen? CALLUM BEST! WHAT THE FECK? Seriously what happened there? I'm still expecting an announcement that they said the wrong name. Brendan Cole was robbed, who voted? Obviously I didn't, I gave that up on day whatever it was they changed the rules on Big Brother and let horsefacegrace back in. I smell a rat as Callum Best has a (exclusive to itv2 as if anyone else would want it) programme coming soon.

Oh and Bianca Gascoigne won. Who cares? Brendan was ROBBED.

And can Patrick Kielty just go and disappear please and anyone responsible for the dire itv2 spin off programme aftersun (once seen never again).

Are you all present?

It's the old 'do not swear'.

Big Brother 1 clips

Sada out.

Mel's eviction announcement.

Catch up clip.

Our Anthony

Anthony Murray the child killer from Brookside is on the x factor! Omg! He's through to bootcamp, he's singing swing. Oh dear! They had a swing singing teen on American Idol once it was all very odd. But still he's from Brookie and I liked that. A lot.

Random picture nonsense

'Princess' Nikki

The Badger

love gets dangerous

Actor hurt in Love Island fight

Actor Lee Otway has been injured after a fight broke out on the ITV reality show Love Island.

The former Hollyoaks star was punched six times by dancer Brendan Cole, 30, who appeared on the BBC's Strictly Come Dancing.

The pair started arguing after producers sent them on a drink-fuelled yacht cruise around the Fijian island where the reality show is based.

The Sunday Mirror knows its self

QUEEN BB.

In other news... Gracie and Mikey at the V festival FECK OFF get off my TV.

Boring!

Jennie 0.9%

Nikki 6.5%

Richard 9.2%

Aisleyne 22%

Glyn 38.8%

Pete 61.2%

Apparently.

Highlights -

Shahbaz telling Davina he hoped she'd have a boy and Davina claiming she didn't mind.

Nikki acting up and not getting much airtime. Davina = Supernanny.



Richard's Jerry Springer video

Michael's Ash to win t-shirt

AshAleeeeeeeen in general

the end goodnight

It's all over. I heave a sigh of relief. In previous years I've been so sad to see it go. Odd I felt a bit like this last year though, I hated Makosi and Craig so much. But last year had a lot of humour in it. This year was cruel and tedious.
I voted a few times for Aisleyne. My two texts didn't get though... though I was charged for them. Fix I shout. BB always aimed for Pete to win.
I thought Pete was dull, moody and false. Tourettes does not make a winner.
I was disappointed Ais didn't win. I wanted to see Grace and Nikki's faces. But she came third. Best female. That will have to do when faced with millions of stupid teeny texters (look at Anthony (who) last year)
The best bit by far was Nikki's eviction 5th. She thought she was going to win or at least be second or third. She was shocked. Then the act on the way out and her refusal to interview. The little girl act that was cut short... Then 'hang on a sec I haven't had my best bits'
Hahahahahahhhaha made putting up with her all worth it. Stupid silly and irritating little troll.
Princess Nikki show? I'd rather watch the Antiques Roadshow laying on hot coals kissing John Prescott.
Looking like she'd been swept through nineteen hurricanes, she was so embarrassing and we did have a good laugh here at Justin Lee Collins impression of her in the advert break trailor for 'Friday Night Project'.
Well it's all over.
No more vile Horse Face Grace or Oilies Lea or Disgusting Lisa or Princess Tantrum.
Will us at Trinity Towers watch next year?
We might.

Hey, how about rather than Snakes on a plane (click the link for superb review btw)...
Man eating snakes in the BB house. Now THAT would be worth watching.
xxx

Because it's fun

The final day

Hmm how does Richard know the percentage Sezer got? I wonder... big mouth Nikki strikes again me thinks! I think he may even know about the other Sezer thing. Nikki has been telling Pete all the gossip as well... Jennie thinks her and Aisleyne are first ones out. Richard seems to think it's between everyone but Aisleyne. Hopefully Aisleyne will beat Jennie, Nikki and Richard at least. I don't see her winning, people have been brainwashed by Pete to win for too long.

But obviously

Vote Aisleyne!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



A few Aisleyne to win column type things.

Grace Dent in the Radio Times.

Tim Teeman in The Times.

Emzi Tingay at Digi Spy

Having said all that of course the most important thing today is Trin's birthday. Happy Birthday Trinno!

You don't say

According to the mole: "BB never expected Ash to last to the final week and, to put it in management terms, she has been a ‘spanner in the works’. Ash'’s hardcore support has been totally unexpected. And as a result tasks, editing, and presenting have been engineered to produce a negative response to her.

From the Daily Star.

Well the presenting bias has been going on all the time. I've known that from watching BBLB all series, especially the day Dermot said that they expected her to go in and bitch and be out in a week (and that's about the nicest thing they've said about her on BBLB until this week). I'm sure she won't win, just her being in the last 6 is a miracle. Last 3 would be ace. Second would be THE BEST THING EVER. If she won the producers would probably explode with fury and demand a recount. Oh and if she did win they'd say it was just a protest vote against the twists.

My you tube clip of the day Aisleyne saying boring when Nikki is talking about a threesome. It's the beginning of the feud!

She's back!

Whoo hoo, our fave reality teevee lesbot returns. La Badger gets her own TV show. It'd better be repeated on Sky3.

Meanwhile Michelle the Winner seems to have drawn the short straw. Not only still going out with Slimy Syed but now pregnant by him! eew. I always thought he was a BadMan, even before I read about him getting done for drink driving for the 4th time. And he's been arrested on suspicion of money laundering. Run away, Michelle, run away, la Badger's bosom awaits to comfort you.

See page 25

AOL poll

Who do you want to win?

Aisleyne 154644 33%
Glyn 32802 7%
Jennie 113286 24%
Nikki 68007 15%
Pete 38730 8%
Richard 60372 13%

Total votes for this poll are: 467841

Ooh we can but dream...

From The Big Brother predictor.

disgrace

dissgrace
Check out this Myspace track from Mono-Key from Cambridge. Lush voice and cool song. I love it.

"You stab in the back but you will smile to the face
the house thought you were nice but we know that wasn't the case
Oh Grace you're a disgrace"

Brilliant. If I never see Horse face again it will be too soon.

Vote Aisleyne Vote Aisleyne Vote Aisleyne

It's something to do while Pete and Nikki are busy recreating that ad for that dating website where the two people are permanently attached to each other... never in my life (and I have watched a lot of reality tv) have I seen such desperate to be on tv people than those returning housemates. It's just plain sick.

princess gollum

So that hideous person Nikki Grahame, the girl I spent a substantional amount of cash on voting out of the house because I didn't fecking like her, has been placed back in the house for the last week. Plus, deep joy... She's allowed to win the prize.
Wonderful. I was one of those 2700 people who complained to Icstis about the BB phone vote scandal. I hope it gets investigated properly. It's highly irritating that these people can get away with such nonsense.
I detest Nikki. She is vile. She screeches and moans and is as false as acrylic nails. She has no sense of decency, humanity or niceness. She is all me me me. This Pete thing is just another attempt at attention snatching.
Their relationship is falser than Horse face and Munster and Max and Saskia.
So it's the last week. Thank goodness for that. Bring back I'm a celeb ASAP. That's class compared to this drivel.
So the forums are full of who should win.
Want my opinion? No? Well I'm going to give it
Glyn... A vile bag of teenager hormones, wanking and dimness. Get back to Wales you simple idiot and never emerge again.Ejaculate yourself!! (in his own words)
Richard... Kind of like him because he's been consistent. Fairly entertaining and has a heart behind the gay bitchiness. Not sure he deserves to win though.
Pete.... A spineless, dull boring nothing. Tourettes does not make you a winner.
Jennie...Sweet but........... blah
Nikki....... spit spit spit.
Aisleyne.....The most decent rightful person in there and she's crap... So that's saying a lot. The only person to stand up and say her mind... To Lea, Nikki and Grace. She's honest and bright. If only she wouldn't be such a drama queen with the fake laugh, fake crying and ridiculous angst at things like nominating.
FFS This is BB you silly cow.

So who to win? Who gives a flying fuck quite frankly. It's my birthday on Friday come celebrate with me instead.
Loves you all.
Tx

ARGH

Shut the feck up you saddos next door about Aisleyne. SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP. Even the people I thought I liked, like Nikki and Richard (well I had gone off Nikki before she returned) I hate them in the house next door slagging off AisLeyne.

A quick review of the 'housemates' next door

Mikey - idiot
Grace - vile pig
Lea - deluded
Nikki - evil troll
Imogen - nice
Richard - gone all wrong

Lifestyles of the rich and the famous

Poor Imogen and Richard they don't know or understand the glamorous post BB lives of Nikki and Lea. The photoshoots! The personal appearances! The premieres! I've heard they live at Buck House now and are both carrying Tom Cruise's next babies.

Unhappy birthday

Gracieeee is going into the main house for 21 minutes on the stroke of midnight (let's be nice and not talk of anyone being anything like an ugly sister) as a special treat on her 21st birthday. The EX housemate who nobody likes will have a cake ooh maybe it will end up in her face.

Bring Syd Little back

I'm sure channel 5 announced to the world they were doing no more reality shows. They must of come to their senses as the rather amusing Trust Me I'’m A Holiday Rep is back with

Nancy Lam, ex-Hear’Say singer Noel Sullivan, Paul Burrell, DJ Brandon Block, comic Rowland Rivron, socialite Emma Jones and wannabe model Samantha Rowley.

Quality tv I say.

Thank god for that

Just as I was busy kicking in the tv at the sight of (EX and should of stayed that way housemates) Gracieeeeee and Mikeeey snogging, BB has moved the nominated housemates Richard and Imogen into the house next door to be with the sad old desperate returning EX housemates. At least Richard may be able to stop the snogging... throw things at them! Richard better return I'm already as annoyed as a very very very annoyed thing that is very very very annoyed at the whole thing.

from home?

It seems I simply CANNOT avoid BB in this house. With 2 teenagers hungrily lapping up every antic of those fun loving housemates.
One thing made me sit up and smell the coffee this week. That letter from Pete's mum.
Hmm what a piece of audience manipulation if ever I saw one.
'Perfect Pete' mummy's boy. Mummy has been able to give up working in 'that' greasy spoon cafe and sip champers with the rich and famous.
And watching perfect Pete on TV has made Grandpa get better from some mystery illness.
Tug my heartstrings? Actually made me feel a little sick.
Richard to win.

Meanwhile

On rubbish old Love Island (as Big Brother is just soooo classy in comparison you know ahem)

One swimsuit model (voted out) came and went
One Dennis Rodman (guest) came and went
One Leo from The Streets (voted out) went
Two twin 'models' (guests) came and went
One Paul Dannan (voted out) went
One Abs from Five (guest) came and went
One Shane from Boyzone left
Lee from Hollyoaks went mad, really mad, MAD MAD MAD currently still there though

Newest in the revolving doors is Callum Best. I presume he is a guest (3 to 7 days) not a contestant. Who knows!? I like this in and out stuff. I'd of liked the twin Mancunians to stay though I liked them.

More rubbish

Jennie has won today's task and now has a free pass to the final week! Grr. Annoyed once more I am. Oh and SURPRISE Pete 'won' a letter from home. Hmm...

I have read a rumour that Jennie will choose the ex housemate (from the house next door) to go in...

I hate this ex housemate twist, seeing Grraccieee and Lisa on teevee made me feel sick and then Lisa saying on BBBM that she'd beat Aisleyne up! Lisa really is one thick EX (and staying that hopefully) housemate.

I'm Ais

Which BB7 Housemate are you?

Good luck Ais. I want her to win. Don't like her much but the best of a rather crap bunch. Bring back Michelle and Chicken Stu. /sigh

goodbye BB from Trin

Two weeks extra and it's absolute crap. Big Brother launches into the final two weeks with the worst idea yet. To bring back 4 of the housemates we evicted (because we didn't like them) and force us to watch their oh so (not) amusing antics for another week?
Nope, I shall not be watching again. I spent money voting every single one of those awful fame hungry, mentally unstable people out. I have no desire to see any of them again.
If they wanted to keep Nikki in they should have done something abut the vile Jayne in the first place rather than let her go on and on and on imparting information about the outside world to Nikki and the others.
This is grossly unfair. The person going back in will have tons of information about how HM's are perceived by us, about what the press thinks of them, tactics and game plans. This isn't what BB was all about. This is a farce.
Lisa threatened to 'beat up Ais' on BBBM last night encouraged by the child like and dim Nikki.
Anyway... Hasn't she sold her suitcase on eBay? Chav cow she is.
I have been a staunch BB fan since the start but it's just another dull game show. Bring back Strike It Lucky. It's got more common sense.

Rumour! Dungeon!

For it's rumoured that the returning housemates will be held in some kind-of dungeon for a few days, before being voted into the BB House proper.

Dungeon. Gracieeee. Nikki. Nice. From Big Brother Online.

Go away twists

I don't want anyone back in the house! I especially don't want Grrrrrrrraciiiiiiiiie back on my teevee and even though I loved Nikki I don't want her back to mess with the mind of Aisleyne. I wouldn't mind Jonathan in (or Bonnie) but let's face it, if it is up to the public it will be Nikki. Ok all of this is just rumours but it's everywhere so probably true. The double eviction is true though so twice the chance to get rid of Mikey. I expect Susie will go, especially after the silly Welsh comments. Mikey and Jennie would be my dream to go, but then if Nikki is coming back then Jennie can stay!

Vote Mikey NOW

You know it makes sense. Imogen, Jennie, Mikey and Susie are up.

Who do we hate? MIKEY!

Why don't we like him? He is an all round badman that is why.

The thought of Susie going when Mikey and Jennie are up is very very very bad.

That's me that is

Which BB7 Housemate are you?

Bye bye Scruples

I miss Michael and Spiral (and Scruples) I can't help wishing someone like umm JENNIE had gone instead and maybe Glyn or Pete or someone else who is boringly guaranteed to win. Snooooooooooze.

Happy Birthday Richard

Nice party. So they are out of prison and much crying over the letters from home so much amusement for us viewers.

Now on to important news. I don't like Jennie. I want to like her but I just can't. It may be her mothers fault she sounded a right cow on BBBM. I like it when the friends and family turn me against a housemate! This isn't helping either, urgh creeping round Pete. Glyn is annoying me now too and Spiral after his latest kick off at Aisleyne. No need. I dread to think what he would be like if he drank.

I hope Susie and Susie Junior stay tonight (and Richard obviously). I think nicecupofteaandasitdown.com should adopt Susie as spokeswoman.

prison time

I have to admit to liking this prison task. It's taken them out of the main house and shook them all up a bit. The secret room was brilliant and colourful and clever. Reminded me of the secret rooms in BB5 with the parties and some people being left out.
Glyn has driven me mad though with his stupid excitement at all the food and stuff. Michael is a real idiot and needs to go on Friday.

I did like the guards uniforms though. Jennie looks so cute in hers. Oh and a word about Ais. I liked her up till this point but she's driving me mad with her Nikki type screaming and refusal to do tasks etc. Ais out ASAP.

But I'm a Laydee!

News: Sam: But I'm a Laydee!

Third BB evictee Sam was ejected from a woman's toilets by cops when someone complained.
Sad really as before BB no one would have known she wasn't a woman.
Strange place Southampton ;P

Richard in and Pete out

Pete is out of the prison (and secret room) and Richard is in! I love this task (and the best friends one) next swap may be Glyn and Mikey as Glyn wants Mikey to see the secret room. It's all still secret from the other prison guards.

Twisty BB

The prisoners have a secret luxury room! They have a large bath, products, champagne and choc fountain. Aislyene and Imogen are rather enjoying themselves.

Love Island news... nooooooooooooooooo Dennis Rodman is there. Tsk they should bring Pete Burns on if they have to copy BB for 'celebs'.

Less than an hour into the prison task

Pete has a can that he can bang on the bars! Argh! Glyn is trying to squeeze back through the bars, Ash has had her earrings took off her and both her and Imogen are under some strange idea their normal clothes look better than their prison uniform. Oddly Glyn tried to persuade both the other blokes they had to take their underwear off. Now we just wait for Spiral to arrive... eek! Spiral locked up... good job he's so calming...

Aisleyne is in prison

She's said so about a million times in 10 minutes. The prison task has started already and funnily enough she is the first into the house next door again. Glyn is eating all his black pudding etc as he's going to jail too. Other prisoners are Imogen, Pete and Spiral with all the others prison guards in the original house.

Noms noms noms

Imogen and Susie, Michael and Spiral and Pete and Richard are up for the double eviction this week and BB has told them a pair are being evicted, the spoilsports! Mikey and Glyn nominated Susie so have put Imogen up for the vote. Ha ha! The viewers are voting to save this week rather oddly, hmm must be so Pete can't be voted out. At least Richard should be safe for another week (and his birthday) and hopefully Susie and Imogen will stay as well.

Interesting

At last. They have to nominate in pairs then the people with the most go up for eviction and one of the best friend couples will be evicted. The housemates won't know that bit though. Unless they guess it as usual... and then after all that the rumour was true the house next door will be turned into a prison. Fun!

Be afraid

They are making up songs as part of the best friends task which seems quite good. Glyn's song is very painful he's been in the outside toilet with a guitar singing badly.

Evictions! BB JaYne bye bye and Love Island Lady V bye bye (boo I was enjoying her bitching). How amusing was Davina and JaYne looking like twins in their black dresses ha ha!

Look who's having a baby... maybe

Looky at what I've just read...

APPRENTICE winner Michelle Dewberry is pregnant by her reality show rival Syed Ahmed.

From The Sun.

Eviction day

Hurrah! I hope JaYne goes. I'm actually more worried about Love Island I don't even know who it is up for that eviction yet. It should be up to me to decide on Love Island as I am (just about) the only viewer! Especially tonight as it is half an hour earlier than listed so every viewer (probably including me) will miss it! I'd quite like Shane to go he's a nice bloke and all that but he's not quite Love Island-y. Or Kelle, let's get rid of the born again Christians. They don't bitch enough.

mid series boredom and hatred

Jaynetta's nominations this week made me want to spit. Aisleyne and Imogen, no problem with that... but her reasons made me cross. She said both of them had copped out on the stepping task. That neither had tried to do it, joined in with the others, been part of the team etc etc. So Jayne constantly breaking the rules, covering microphones camera's and talking about outside stuff is working as a part of a team? She is a first class hypocrite, she has spoilt BB for me this year. I don't object to putting a rude, ugly, vile person in the house. But the talk of how the HM's are percieved by the public has changed them, it's definitely made Ais more paranoid and changed her personality for the worse. Jayne's little chats with Nikki sealed her eviction fate most definitely.
I think only Susie and Imogen can see through Jayne's 'Look at me' belch, fart, belly laugh persona.
Last night I didn't watch the highlights show for the first time in ages.
Ok Noms night gets on my nerves. I was pissed off that more of them didn't nominate Jayne preferring to continue with their 'Boring' personal vendettas. Richard noms Imogen. Says she's boring Imogen noms Richard, says he's false.... Yawn. Week after week.
Jayne had better go this week. I have faith in the public though, so far they've thought like me every week... gawd I'm Ms Jack average... yikes!

Ok Jude...... Good idea. My thoughts on the Hms's this week
Richard.... he's ok. Not in my final 4 though. He's too up himself but he has some brilliant lines, doesn't suffer fools gladly and has a biting wit and wicked smile. Love him winding up self professed God Michael.
Jayne.... Crass, rude, vulgar, thick, ugly, stupid, Give that woman the first BB ASBO. I detest her.
Aisleyne..... Like her lots, but ditch the crying Ais and be a sport when the guys play with you. You can't play with them then go crying to BB when they get a bit OTT.
Mikey..... hate him and his unintelligible accent. Dull, boring and ugly.There's just no point to him. Take away that man's oxygen.
Michael..... Odd. Very Odd. Like his cat though. He thinks he's god? Hmmm.
Pete...... Boring.
Glyn...... Tedious. An 18 year old idiot. Even worse now his hair is dyed. Why are we watching this cretin on TV?
Imogen..... Love her, like her more each day. She's blooming. She's keeping it real.
Spiral...... FFS a volatile obnoxious idiot. Soonest he's out the better.
Jennie...... love her. Sweet, intelligent and nice. Ditch the fags though Jen, you're too young to ruin your life.
Susie..... becoming one of my favs. Sassy clever and amusing. I liked her standing up to Jayne where the rest lacked any backbone.

my final 4. Hmm Ais, Imogen, Jennie and Susie. What no men? Unfortunately BB men this year do not conform to Trin's idea of the word MAN.
Stay Cool.
xxx

Who is good and who is bad

Week 203 or something...

Aisleyne - good always good
Glyn - good but all comments about Susie bad and annoying
Imogen - good but all Mikey-ness bad
Jayne - bad
Jennie - middling I'm still unsure
Michael - middling I dunno I want to like him
Mikey - always bad
Pete - good
Richard - good
Spiral - bad Steve O has left Love island now get rid of Spir O
Susie - good I find her amusing

Jayne v Richard

Hmm. Leave Richard alone you bad Great British Public (especially Wales) and Ireland. I'll be wagging my finger if the result is wrong twice in a row.

Not much happening shocker in the BB house and even if there was I wouldn't know as Freeview has lost its live feed red button. THE FECKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Blinking free film four. I hate it! WHO ARE THEY? Give me my secret channel back.

Scary

As if Paul Dannan being back in wasn't scary enough, the newest person on the love island is Steve-O from Jackass!

Meanwhile back in the BB house Glyn is hungry and 'cooking' alone in the middle of the night, surprisingly the house is still standing today.

Well that went well on the love island

Love island first eviction went well... half of the celebrities refused to vote and Alicia ran away to the airport. I hope they punish them, put the ones who won't vote up for nomination next time. Brendan and Lady V became my immediate faves for just actually voting.

Alicia is sadly gone in more ways than one. She was very amusing.


Paul Dannan is going back! Should be interesting... He should of gone on BB could of given Spiral some sex pest tips. Other newbies are rumoured to be joining like Jean Christophe-Nouvelli and Chris Eubank (I thought he had a wife). Anyway I am enjoying LI muchly. I am currently liking Bianca Gascoigne and not liking Lee Otway.

Nikki the bush kangaroo

Except no she's not going to Australia as far as I know. 'You're going into the secret house Nikki' You're going to Australia Nikki' No, she's going straight to magazine deals and Richard and Judy (hopefully). Umm the crowd reaction was GOOD who are these people who voted for her WHO ARE THEY? I hope she gets a Chantelle type E4 show. We can't waste Nikki now we know her.

So JaYne didn't go and they have another rubbish punishment, one hour of hot showers, that used to be the norm. And they're baking bread, well Susie is!

It's a hard Knock life for Nikki!

With 37% of the vote Princess Tippy Toes herself, Nikki Grahame was evicted tonight. The surprise was evident on her face... Probably because she'd been primed for two week by evil troll thing Jayne. "You're the star Nikki" she hissed in her ear every 10 minutes "You won't be going anywhere.... Ais is hated"
Jayne was the end of Nikki. The general public, whilst liking her and finding her hugely entertaining also were tiring of her antics... Her refusal to join in tasks. But also the nasty bitching sessions with Jayne were horrible.
Shame though. I did kind of like her. I hope she realises just how her friendship with Jayne detracted from her in every way.
I did smile at poor heavily pregnant Davina having to climb the stairs to drag the princess from her castle.
I have a feeling Princess Nikki will be bigger than Jade Goody.
And she'll be enormous fun on BBLB unlike the dull as dishwater Lea.

Badness

Bookmaker William Hill is offering odds of 8/11 for Nikki to be evicted. Next favourite to leave is Aisleyne at 11/8, with Susie in third place at 8/1.

From the bbc. Boo. It seems one of the best housemates is going tonight then. Stupid Big Brother.

The thread about Jayne going tonight seems to have gone from digi spy. Could that be good news? Is it too much to hope for?

that handicapped rat

NO NO NO no no No Glyn. Whatever you do with your rancid black pudding up in those welsh hills, we do not bash helpless Voles over the head with a hammer down south.
Richard still appeared a dick in his attempt to be the Ratty/Vole champion but he was right. Pete having a weep in the dairy room was silly. Ok I'd have understood if the thing was actually killed but...
Thing is..... Trouble is... With me head..... I wouldn't have objected to Glyn bashing Jayne over the head with his black pudding.
Hmmmm.

Just get rid!

When is JaYne leaving? They can't possibly keep her in with all this 'talk' she's being doing. I think she'll be out soon hopefully tomorrow. Maybe they'll sling her out or maybe the housemates will vote. I'm very annoyed with her she's made this weeks vote Aisleyne v Nikki my two favourites, when it should obviously be Spiral v Spiral he's a nasty aggressive twerp. The latest JaYne punishment is basic food rations for all next week! I feel punished no nominations or weekly task. If they want me to be more interested in celebrity horsey jumping and Love Island then they have gone the right way about it.

what's that coming over the hill? Is it a Monster?

I'm afraid the prima Donna, self confessed child tantrummy princess tippy toes has to go this week.
Her behaviour is becoming monstrous. I'm actually quite concerned she's becoming unhinged (even more than ever) but if not and she's acting... Then she needs to be kicked back home so her Mother can smack her bottom. She's more monstrous than the vile Jayne who seems unable to keep her big shouty trap shut. She's ruining it for everyone. The HM's aren't meant to know about the outside world but Jayne has told them all whose popular and who isn't and has fuelled Nikki's momentous tantrums.
Crikey Vanessa Feltz is on BBLB and she says Jayne is loathsome. Jayne has broken the rules AGAIN today. So what are BB going to do about it?
So she's got immunity from eviction this week.... Bully for her. But the fundamental rules of BB are no outside contact or details. The next punishment better be good. HM's in the past were kicked out for a lot less.... 'Nasty' Nick wrote one word down and was thrown out. For goodness sake get a backbone Big Brother. Do something

I am NOT happy AT ALL

All the housemates are up for eviction except for JaYne because of her rule breaking! I am about as happy as a very VERY unhappy thing.

Yawn

Surprise surprise BB gave them enough drink to get spin the bottle drunk to show opposite Love Island starting tonight!

A positive snogging frenzy took place tonight, with Aisleyne taking turns to trade kisses with both Nikki and Pete!

Fake lesbians, fake kissing on fake Big Brother grrreat!

In the daily star Spiral gets branded a sex pest.

BB rapper Spiral was exposed as a sex pest after going too far between the sheets with Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace.

I saw this bit

She fled the bed in tears and tried to escape his advances by calling on Big Brother to get her into the diary room. Shocked Aisleyne, 27, shrieked: "BB can you call me to the diary room, quick-time.

But I thought Aisleyne was upset about Nikki on the live feed when it happened but Spiral did seem to be the cause of the first upset from the highlights show.

Classy Lea

'Let me out then you c**ts' Lovely. I didn't hear an apology channel 4. I will write to Tony Blair!

A nice pic of Lea.
Don't blame me that it is rubbish blame the channel 4 site and the silly make a housemate pic thing.

some good things

Not to be totally negative tonight, I'm really liking Jennie the new housemate. I like her attitude. She's sunny happy sassy and straight talking. She's a breath of fresh air and so different to the increasingly annoying Nikki (Nikki's bed... All three of them)
I also like Spiral... ATM. He's fun... Reminds me of how Pete used to be before the awful Lea 'changed' him. And last night I cheered for Imogen. Her refusal to be drawn into bitching with Nikki and The Vile Jayne. When she said "Actually I'm pleased Ais is back" I felt all warm and proud of her.
I'm watching BBLB right now and I'm so happy for Jonathan. He's out milking the crowd and they love him. Best wishes to him. Hope he goes further than any of those other wannabes.

pure trin hate

BB site... Jayne upsets Jennie
So did we really need another vindictive, nasty, socially inept bitch to watch on our screens?
Jayne is absolutely vile. How I hate her. I dislike Lea greatly... always have done but I'd save Lea till the end to get rid of nasty Jayne.
I'm spitting to think we could have had the friendly lovely warm sensible Jonathan to get to know and watch. Well it would seem maybe that totally dim Jayne has pushed her luck too far. Her failure to obey the rules and stop discussing outside stuff has got her a serious warning. Evict her I say. Get rid of her now. Make Trin a very happy woman......

Latest rubbish task passed

A weekly task that took a lot less than an hour!

The housemates have three hours to untangle themselves from a giant knot in the garden. They are working against the clock and as the minutes slip away so does their food budget.

And another weird E4 moment when the housemates were all standing up with the rope at the end and suddenly you saw another shot of someone in the pool! (obviously 5 mins ahead) E4 sees into the future you know.

Non celebrity love island

We have some professional reality tv people

Bombhead from Hollyoaks (itv singing programme)

Sophie Anderton (iacgmooh)

Shane Lynch (the games)

Some I'm related to someone famous types

Chris Brosnan (Pierce's son)

Bianca Gascoigne (Gazza's step daughter)

and an OMG THIS IS ACE person

Brendan Cole

FIERY dancer Brendan, 30, spends six months of the year working on global TV versions of Strictly Come Dancing. He says his ideal woman is "classy, giving and caring".

But he warns: "Anyone who is loud, obnoxious, common or brassy is a big turn-off for me."

Putting Brendan on is pure genius. Hopefully Lizzie Bardsley will turn up. Or James Martin or his ex Camilla.
From the mirror.

Oh now I hate JaYne

So Spiral is in the house and Aisleyne cried a lot. Ho hum. Not very exciting was it? JaYne is annoying saying her loyalties are with the original housemates as she was only in the second house 24 hours! I think the original housemates will be sick of her very soon. She's like a female David Brent always laughing at everything she says and always being 'up' she makes me sick! I'll probably like her tomorrow... unlikely.

I'm happy though as Lea will be gone soon. GONE GONE GONE! Yay.