Sport Relief Does The Apprentice

Blokes - Phil Tufnell (blokey) Nick Hancock (quizy) Lembit Opik MP (cheeky) and ex-Sun editor Kelvin MacKenzie (Piers Morgany).

Womenz - Kirstie Allsopp (bossy), Lisa Snowdon (modely) Clare Balding (excellent) Louise Redknapp (waggy) and Ann Summers chief Jacqueline Gold (she hates Katie Hopkins which is good enough for me.

From the BBC...

Each team will be given empty adjoining stores in London's West End and told to come up with names and stock them with items they think will make the most profit.

Sounds like Wags Boutique (R.I.P).

On the American Celeb Apprentice last week they did QVC, always a good task. Piers Morgan still in.

I love to play my bongos in the morning

Ian Wright was a bit of a perv or was that just me? (possibly). Russell Brand is doing it on Tuesday... Kelly Osbourne today and it is nominations, people are already saying they've done what they came for and don't mind if they go etc... I hope all the women stay (unlikely) I like them all. Well I could let Amy (Mills McCartney) go but the other 4 are rather good. It would be a shame to lose bongo woman, circus girl, happy Jade or dancey woman.

In other news I have watched the first US Celebrity Apprentice it was alright, has some woman who is the most infamous from the normal US apprentice on, she is in no way more annoying than Katie Hopkins they should of put her on instead. I don't know who many of them are but Gene Simmons is on it so all is good.

Why is Dancing On Ice going to be on a Sunday? I already have Top Model and Runway to record that day. Talking of Top Model I see Elyse from series one is in a bit of bother. Elyse v the Christians is one of the best TM bits.

Celebrity Trin Idol!

Starting tonight on 5 : "So You Think You Can Nurse?"

Writer and broadcaster Janet Street Porter, TV presenter Gail Porter and comedian Sean Hughes have been given full access to working wards in Barnsley General Hospital to experience first-hand the daily challenges of being a National Health Service nurse. The celebrities will be taking part in this life-changing experience of operating as auxiliary nurses-in-training for two exhausting weeks at the hospital.

.......

Janet Street Porter, known for her strong opinions on the NHS will be assisting expectant mothers, helping the midwives with births and c-sections in the maternity wing.

FFS. If Janet SP had approached me with a camera crew while I was having my labour & caesarean section, I'd've told her to feck right off.

Oh yeah big brother etc etc. Shilpa won, Jade's had a breakdown and gone into the Priory, Jo says it's ruined her life and is being comforted by Fergie (!) and Danielle got dumped by Teddy and her modelling contracts.

Anyway we're so over that, now on to exciting news wot I heard on the wireless this morning: Celebrity Apprentice! With Jo Brand! Thank you tv deities for smiling on me.