Monday, December 13, 2004

and still it keeps coming

IAC news from the papers ...

  • NAT, YOU TOUCHED A TREE.. I'M A Celebrity moaner Natalie Appleton has clearly overcome her fear of trees - but still seems barking mad.
  • Fran Humbled by the Jungle Fran Cosgrave returned to Ireland claiming his third place finish felt like a win.
  • CAMP CROC AWAITS FOR NEXT JUNGLE CELEBS the show's executive producer, Alex Gardiner, is pushing hard to have the entire show moved to tropical Queensland, home of the saltwater crocodile.

  • Saturday, December 11, 2004

    I'm an Aussie final grr

    Jordan (male not our Jordan) won! Why? He was rubbish and sexist so well done panel. One of the blokes did the HELLicopter trial and made it look very hard work. Back to Jordan (male not ours) he was rubbish at the trial and at finding the he won, hmph. I'm an Aussie was very good overall though. I read that there was a UK non celeb (how could we tell the difference) version planned. WOO (but why not just do a series of Survivor instead)?

    Friday, December 10, 2004

    I'm an Aussie day 4

    Oh my they did this cool trial. Basically they rolled three of them down a hill in a big white ball thing and had to hit a target. The first one was strapped in, the second one had all tomato in with them and the third had eggs and other icky stuff. They were so sick and bruised ha! Shame it was thought of as too much for IACGMOOH as it was great. It is the final tomorrow boo.

    Thursday, December 09, 2004

    *boom! boom!*

    Sub-editor of the Week award goes to the Peterborough Today team for
    boom! boom!
    Jungle Joe set to emus city fans

    Do you see what they did there? Emus, geddit? A job on the S*n surely beckons with sub skills like that

    Other news: they're back. Expect cheesy, rushed, p*ss-poor, tv ad campaigns featuring all your IAC faves (c.f. Linda Barker & DFS, Alex & Domestos), in time for the Xmas market, or demand your money back.


    D'oh!I dunno why but sometimes, posting the tabloid news round up causes the side bar to slink off to the bottom of the page. Here goes again, 2nd time today, hopefully this time sidebar will stay put ...

    DADDY ATE MY STICK INSECTS A DRUNKEN dad broke his son's heart by eating his three pet stick insects in a home-grown Bushtucker Trial with five mates. blimey and I thought we were IAC-crazy

    Joe's cracking good deal I'm A Celebrity winner Joe Pasquale could be on the verge of signing up to an advertising campaign for Jacob's Cream Crackers.

    Brian's jungle wash out The wrap party for the cast and crew of 'I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here' was a bit of a washout

    THE BUTLER IS DEAD Says Paul Burrell I've shed demons .. I'll move on from Diana Bushtucker Trial was absolutely petrifying How bigmouth Janet nearly destroyed me

    Joe mulls West End musical Funnyman Joe Pasquale may turn his back on comedy following his win in I'm A Celebrity.

    Jungle inmates free now the Z-listers have been set free from the jungle, they're selling their stories to anyone with money. Which means the Mirror have nabbed butler Paul Burrell, the Sun get the king Joe Pasquale and the Star focus on everyone else.

    wholly gratuitous homer picture

    Wednesday, December 08, 2004


    Voh voted out of I'm an Aussie... by sexist pigs Dr Thingy and Phil Tufnell PAH. One of the blokes (Michael) did the temple of doom trial and got 7 stars but told everyone he had got 3 until the food came. When the food did come it was disgusting, they thought it was possum but weren't sure, another of the blokes (I think Scott) has possums at home in a tree and hated it. It looked like a little skinned dog with no head. EWW. They got 'the chest' question wrong again but it took them long enough just to get it to camp. It was the one where they had to get the water into the bucket and Jordan (male) missed the key (as in could not see it) when the bucket came down so they had to do it twice.

    three one-legged emus playing polo

    the 3 one legged emusOooh I loved the IAC 'Coming Out' speshul tonight. Gosh I wish I had ITV2. The sleb family tent shots were bestest, I can't believe their families sit in a tent all day watching them on tv. I need to watch a show just about that.  Shouty Bloke & DermotI vote for Dermot to do IAC's Little Brother live from the tent at 6pm every day during IACGMOOH5. And that shouty bloke from SAS Are you tough enough? to be in charge of the bush tucker trials. He[1] must need the work as the beeb have cancelled SAS are you etc? boo. I loved that show.

    Sophie's hair - she paid how much for that??Where was I? Oh yes, prog tonight. Sheila, get a grip and calm down, woman. It's not good when your kids are scared of you. Vic, you're a twunt. Janet, you're entitled to feel superior. Sophie, new hair do = big big hair DON'T. Ant & Dec, don't sit the wrong way round, it upsets us.

    [1] he = shouty bloke. Dermot has plenty of work what with his very excellent radio show and such like

    I'm an Aussie day 2

    The two blonde women did the laser chest challenge (eww one of the blokes made a chest 'joke') they got it then they opened the wrong one (they actually knew the right one but were confused by the instructions) Jordan (male not our Jordan) did the shopping trolley trial with the tight cat suit on, one of the other blokes told him to stuff a sock into it, so he did. Then they had trouble getting the harness over the sock. One of the blonde women were voted off EVERYONE was furious and mad at Voh, who was being loopy and annoying all, ha. They are voted off by a panel of Phil Tufnull, Tara Palmer Tompkinson and that Dr expert bloke from the trials.

    Ooh I just read on digital spy that Krystal (one of the blondes) was on Big Brother in Australia this year and used to be a stripper.

    Tuesday, December 07, 2004

    Tuesday Papers

  • You're Joe King SQUEAKY-voiced comedy star Joe Pasquale was last night crowned King of the Jungle - the hottest favourite ever to win.
  • Fran: The best time of my life IRISH charmer Fran Cosgrave downed a Guinness as he left the jungle — and said his 17 days there were “absolutely amazing”.
  • Sophie's wed hot BOOKIES yesterday made Sophie Anderton a hot favourite to marry next year.

  • THE ROCK IN A HARD PLACE Jim Shelley looks back over I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here and nominates his best moments...
  • JOE-KER OF THE JUNGLE Burrell stomachs a tough trial .. but Joe wins title
  • TOUGH FINAL TRIAL IS HARD TO SWALLOW Paul Burrell had to eat grubs and a kangaroo testicle, Fran Cosgrave had to wear the horrific eel helmet and Joe Pasquale was trapped in a rat-infested hellhole.

  • A gentle touch with an emu will help feather Joe's nest
  • In Her Own Words: Janet of the jungle Snakes, singers and Sophie Anderton: they hold no terrors for Janet Street-Porter. The 'mother of live TV' reveals what life in the celebrity camp was really like (and how much she'll miss Paul Burrell)

    Wrexham Evening Leader:
  • BURRELL STILL A KING IN HIS HOME VILLAGE HE may not have been crowned “King of the Jungle” but Paul Burrell won the hearts of millions last night after conquering a stomach-churning bushtucker trial.

    Birmigham Evening Mail
  • From a King to a Jack "I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Back To Brum".

    Belfast Telegraph:
  • Playing 'green' card dashes hopes of Irish wannabes Fran is the real winner. He freely admitted during his jungle stay that he wasn't a celebrity, even by the show's own low standards. But there he was, harvesting Irish votes by the bucket-load, enough in a poor series to threaten the marketing men's hopes of a "home-grown" King or Queen of the Jungle.

  • Joe of the jungle Nice guy Joe pipped show-tune spouting ex-Butler Paul Burrell into a shaking, sobbing, second place in the final of I'm A Celebrity, just ahead of beefcake night-owl Fran Cosgrave.
  • I'm an Aussie get me out of here!

    VOH! My new most fave person ever! She is hilarious, a Little Mo from Eastenders lookalike (except a bit older) she is so rubbish as the first leader. It is not her real name you know.

    Umm 'I'm an Aussie get me out of here' is the ITV2 show where they test the trials etc on Oz types before us Brits do it. It is on all week and it is fabulous.

    My winner

    I love Paul. Lovely Paul...Tom Hanks bestest friend and lookylikey he rules my world. So brave! So strong! *Sighs* I did retch twice along with his trial it was disgusting *pukes*.

    Monday, December 06, 2004

    King Jungle Joe

    Stuff the corgis bring on the Emu's
    King Joe
    Hmph. Me thinks Paul was robbed. He was the most entertainment value...better than the entire year of Eastenders!
    Mind Joe is lovely and anyone who had to inspect Fran's balls has to recieve some sort of award.
    Oh Paul is crying..... tears of joy, sadness and royalty bless!

    Oh Balls

    Paul or Tom?Tom Hanks doppelganger Paul Did the most gut wrenching Bush Tucker Trial tonight. Eating five varieties of bugs including at the end the Kangaroos testicle. This made me retch, and I'm a nurse. I seriously had to look away and Tom or Paul???think about pink fluffy kitties to avoid puking (esp when the white stuff came out, what was that? On second thoughts no-one tell me) TBH I think he deserves to win because of that but on the other hand...The sad little man is so desperate to win he shouldn't.
    Fran's just been voted out as third place. They showed a very funny clip of Fran getting Joe to check out his balls because he was worried they'd been damaged.

    if it can't be Janet

    I spose I'll have to backing Joe to win, tho only by default. I don't like Paul, I don't see the point of Fran (only kept in by the votes of girlies with more phone credits than sense) so Joe it is.

    It's like last year all over again, tho, innit. The true Queen of the Jungle again denied her crown because there's just not enough votes in being a stroppy, strong, sassy, opinionated woman. Not if you're over 30 and don't model underwear. Pah. Viva Janet!

    Now, please excuse me while I go throw up. It's not my lurgy coming back, it's that I've just seen that the itv site is featuring Paul on Diana: The Transcript. Bleurgh.

    dragging myself off my sick bed

    to point and laff at Paul. Again.

    Ha Ha Ha Ha. He got the flag Move Over Darlingquestion wrong. Some patriot he is. Bwaaahahahahahah. The Welsh flag is the missing one, as ane fule kno. Or as ane fule could work out after a few seconds' thought about just how many dragons there are on the union flag. Paul, so loyal, so devoted to keeping the Great in Great Britain. He doesn't want to talk about the royals, especially not Prinny Di, particularly not as the competion draws to an end and he's desperate for every vote. Oh no, our Paul wouldn't do a thing like that.

    Gratuitous Doris Day pictures:

    Sunday, December 05, 2004

    And then there were three

    Janet was voted out tonight. It was between her and Fran and the mirror loving night club owner got the votes.
    Janet's wondering how on earth they're going to cope without her!
    Paul was terrified by the rats in camp tonight. After a quavery voice yelped for Joe then Janet to help him, he then decided it was a good job the girls weren't still in camp because they'd wet their knickers at the sight of the rats.
    Hmm me thinks it's Pauls knickers that were wet.
    Janet told him to think of them as large hamsters but any thing that's not Corgi shaped seems to worry dear Paul.

    Hill Trial

    For any of you in foreign countries who couldn't watch tonight's show. The bush tucker trial was the same as last years with the four trying to climb the muddy hill with water and other obstacles cascading down on them.
    Move over darlingJanet reached first post, Joe had a bit of a struggle to get to second and then stay there, Paul took ages to reach third and even longer to get the star off then Fran legged it up to fourth then was hit by a huge ball and tumbled down taking the other three with him. Very funny stuff. They all scrambled back to their posts except dear sweet Paul who couldn't do it. So they only won three stars.
    Back in camp, Paul said that Janet lost her star and stole his. Tsk...Baby boys!
    The treasure chest was collected by Fran and Paul today. Fran had to climb a huge spiders web. But Paul still smarting from the BTT failure petchulantly wanted to do it and threw a bit of a paddy. A bit of bitching and tantrum behaviour followed.
    Fran walked off to have a ciggie in a huff and Paul got the question wrong about the English flag.
    Poor Paul...Not having a good day. It's hard work when you're trying so hard to be perfect. But you plainly aren't.
    Anyways Janets pleased that it's a row she hasn't started.
    Talking of Janet. The Scabby NOTW has a huge article today about Janets sex life. Apparently she's an animal in bed and has massive orgasms. I say bloody good for her. Go girl and be proud of it. Feck off NOTW

    Usual rubbish

    The tabs!

    SEX-STARVED Sophie Anderton bedded her man SEVEN times in a 24-hour love marathon after being booted out of the jungle camp

    And still had time to tell the News Of the World. In The Mirror she has beaten her demons.

    She squealed: "Yes. Yes. Yes. I've done it. I'm so proud that I've shown everyone I've finally beaten my drug addiction.

    Now I am off to drink my weight in booze in Manchester for 24 hours byeeee.

    For a rather impatient Stephen

    Men! Don't they know you have to wait for genius.
    Well Jude's out seeing Will Young again and Clazza is poorly sick so looks like I have the key to the castle ha!
    Steve was right of course. Tonight's Bush Tucker Trial was the funniest thing I've seen on TV since Judy lost her blouse.
    Paul had to put his arm into 5 holes and collect the stars inside( bet he's never seen so many holes :P ). The funny bit though was his facial expressions and commentary...and Ant and Dec wetting their knickers laughing so much.
    The first hole was green ants, the 2nd, lots of beetles things and slime...His arm came out like he'd been doing a gynaecological exam.
    Third was huge spiders. Forth was big black rats one of which was sat on the star. Paul with a high pitched voice of fear asked it to 'Move over Darling'
    The fifth was lots of moving snakes (he hates snakes). His face was a picture. Then when he got all five he had to sit down to recover. Then cheered loudly 'Fran WILL eat...Fran will not go hungry. Fran will have mashed potatoes'
    Hmmm me thinks Paul :hearts: Fran. Maybe Vic's Old Compton Street Comment wasn't far off the mark if you get my drift.
    Tonight's show was ace. Janet trying to sit her ass on that swing then hitting Joe head over heels.
    Buzz Lightyear was bornPaul's description of the Queens pee problem with those Corgis. She keeps a soda stream and wipes on hand to clear up 'accidents'.
    The argument over Paul describing Queenie as a normal grandmother, and Janet retorting 'Yes with a bloody Bentley and armed Guards'
    Great entertainment.
    Ok Steve was that ok? Hun? (snigger)

    Saturday, December 04, 2004

    I lurve Janet

    Janet tonight
    Vote for me, I'm the only woman left in here with three 'men'
    One who thinks he's an Emu
    One who has spent all his life following around a little old lady and picking up Corgi shit
    And one who won't let me look in the mirror because he's looking at himself every 5 minutes.

    VOTE Janet or the earth will be destroyed by flesh eating trees. You have been warned.

    Tabs today


    As she left, Sophie tipped ex-royal butler Paul Burrell to win. But earlier she showed her ignorance in a camp quiz when they were asked: “How much is the basic state pension for a single person in the UK per week?”

    With a choice of £61 or £76, Sophie piped up: “How can anyone live on 61p?” Paul corrected her saying: “No, £61, baby.”

    Sophie replied: “Oh my God – that was a model thing to say.”

    Sophie: I need sex

    Her boyfriend Mark said: “We haven’t seen her incredibly vicious streak yet — which is a good thing.”

    Sophie hits Bristol News

    Sophie went to school in Bristol, in Redland High actually. The local news channel had a little bit on her Jungle exit.
    They commented on how, during her Bush Tucker trial she had bugs and worms in her mouth. Then nice Mr news reader said happily "I'm sure she'll have something much tastier in her mouth tonight".
    As her BF was waiting for her at the end of the bridge. I'm sure they were right ;)

    Sophie out!

    ITV1 really fecked up her interview you couldn't hear it properly at all.

    BTW...I can't believe I didn't go for the 'Respect The Rock' line on the Paul pic below.

    Friday, December 03, 2004

    Do not mock me jungle people.


    Why I don't like Fran.

    People are voting for him as they fancy him.

    He said every week he buys new pants and socks and throws the old ones out THE FREAK.

    He's not a celebrity! He got one of Atomic Kitten pregnant! That is it!

    He looks in the mirror a lot which as we all know is a hanging offence.

    I agree with Paul that Fran's nightclub charges too much for champagne (a litte chat they had) in fact champagne is just wrong. What is wrong with cava huh?

    Huggy is out

    Bless. He was crying! Dec didn't know where to look! I like him now he is out (and blubbing). Sheila greeted him on the bridge (why not his partner?). I liked Sheila rolling on top of Mark Durden Smith on itv2. I dunno about her phone in though.

    Female caller - 'Sheila you are gorgeous and lovely'

    Sheila - 'Are you gay'?


    Next trial is by Sophie and Janet together then the next day (if he is still in) it will be Paul.

    Thursday, December 02, 2004

    Peterborough's the place to be for IAC fans

    Exciting news from Peterborough Today - Joe and Sheila are both going to be playing at the Broadway Theatre wooo. Although not together boo. I am disappointed. I originally formed the misaprehension that they were appearing together in panto. I'd've gone to Peterborough for that.


    They have had food, lots of it, Sophie couldn't eat a bite more but Fran was told off by Janet for eating all the beans even though she had just told everyone to eat as many as they liked.

    Janet and Sophie have gone off to get the chest dressed as builders. Fran looked at Sophie with her bikini top, toolbelt and hard hat and said 'You're not going anywhere tomorrow'.

    Fran and Huggy have chat about who knows most about films and Huggy mentions all the films he has been in and gives advice to Fran about getting into films.

    Paul asks Huggy if he answers his own fan mail as Paul does. Huggy says his goes to his fanclub. Paul says he hasn't got one of those. I may start one!

    I don't believe it!

    my disbelief has lost it's suspenders after last night's box-fetching mullarky. Obv no way were they going to let those two put safety-critical harness equipment on by themselves so obv someone came and helped them, to make sure they were safe. I have no prob with that, I have a prob with the pretence that they're there all by themselves, except the film crew, safety people, doctor, etc etc etc. Bah.

    Still watching, tho. Most dischuffed to recall I have to Go Out on Saturday night boo.

    Thursday Papers

  • Joe's plain squeaking SQUEAKY-voiced joker Joe Pasquale has revealed why he is the red-hot favourite to win I’m A Celebrity — he once had a job at an ASYLUM.
  • 'Spoilt bitch' Sophie RANTING Sheila Ferguson last night branded Sophie Anderton a spoilt bitch after becoming the third celebrity to be booted out.
  • It's Buggy Hair HERE’S Huggy’s hair getting buggy as he nets four stars in his Bushtucker Trial.

  • MAD VICAR NEXT FOR REEVES JUNGLE reject Vic Reeves will soon be back on our television screens playing a crazy vicar.
  • THE BUGSTER: HUGGY BEAR'S A HIT IN THE WOODS THE LADY who hugs Huggy Bear says the jungle holds no fear for the man who yesterday had worms and spiders dropped on his head.

    Sky news:
  • NEIL SEAN'S I'M A CELEB GOSS Why was Nancy Sorrell - the first star to be booted out - ever in I'm A Celeb? She's hoping a comedy she made with hubby Vic Reeves will finally be aired.
  • Wednesday, December 01, 2004

    Stolen from popbitch

    Well the Sun does it.

    "Coleman Balls Winner 2004 has to be Paul Burrell on IACGMOOH saying (in his plea for the public vote) something along the lines of:
    the top moments in my life have to be my marriage, the birth of my children (pause - genius forgets what he's said about TOP moments about 5 seconds earlier]
    [looks wistfully away from camera]
    the death of the Princess - obviously

    and blah blah blah."

    edit: in case you were wondering who or what is popbitch, click here. Trin did make a link to it in the title but stoopid blogger hides it dur

    Buggy Hair - now with pictures hurrah

    Huggy Bear's Buggy Hair and despite being the bookie's favourite two nights running, Huggy stays in the jungle. Sheila evicted tonight. Good. I think they all bad for picking on Sophie. Yesh she's a model and yesh she's all me me me but at least she doesn't need oxygen everytime she sees a tree. Unlike Natalie who everyone treated like an ickle bitty princess :vomits: I think I am still liking Janet best of all, tho.

    Funniest bit tonight, of course, was when Paul didn't know the answer to the royalty question despite being a professional monarchist lackey and having told JSP that the last book he read was about Henry VIII. Tee Hee Hee.

    She Walks

    Sheila is no longer horizontal. She's vertical and out of there...and she Hated Sophie with a passion.


    Image Hosted by ImageShack.usThe Rainforest is one of my passions. The area where I'm a celeb is filmed is a site looked after by Rainforest rescue.
    Rainforest Rescue has been working for several years to raise funds for the purchase of land in the Daintree by the Daintree Rainforest Foundation. Six properties have now been saved since they started.

    $20 will buy and protect ten square metres. If you can help them, or know someone else that has a web site that would like to help, please add their banner to your site with a link to

    Gems from the Jungle

    I adore Janet and Paul. I love the bickering, her ordering him around. His gentle Image Hosted by ImageShack.usmoaning and bitchiness. Her straight out with it 'Shut Up Paul, get your 'and off me or I'll 'Ave you for sexual 'arrasement'
    I have no idea why he moans though. He must love being bossed about by women. After all he chose his job. You reckon the Queen ever threatened him with Sexual 'Arrasement though?

    Huggy man of wisdomBut the words that drip from Huggy Bears mouth deserve Dubya status. How about the classic 'Bring the Body and the head will follow' WTF is that all about?

    How about Joe? 'I look like George Clooney with me beard growing don't I?

    And my personal fav Janet 'What on earth do we need pets for? I 'ate pets'

    You reckon Paul got the hots for Sophie? He doesn't shut up about her body. Actually he doesn't shut up if the truth be told.
    Cool music tonight though. I was well pleased to hear the Coral. Breath of fresh air.

    yes yes yes!

    Huggy Bear's Buggy Hair! hurrah

    Wednesday's Papers

  • Redhead's blue movie MOUTHY Janet Street-Porter has revealed that she once appeared in a PORN movie.
  • Nancy: Bosses fed Natalie pills to stop her freaking out SEXY Nancy Sorrell has revealed TV bosses had to give jittery Natalie Appleton SLEEPING PILLS — after she freaked out in the jungle.

  • DANGLE IN THE JUNGLE I'M A CELEB GET ME DOWN FROM UP HERE Joe wins the lot in copter trial
  • Next trial done by...

    HUGGY! At last he is going to do something! Anything! Nancy so wants to be a tv presenter judging by her appearance on ITV2 with Mark 'looks like his mother' Durden Smith and Tara 'ellooooooo jungle ott line' Palmer Tompkinson'.

    Mark the lookylikey

    Judith his mother

    Glad (like me) it seems no one (voters anyway) likes celeb couples on reality tv shows hurrah.