Sluts!

Blimey they are a load of slags in the BB USA house. I love it! You can watch it online at realitytvfan.org... which is good as my Thursdays are chocka with Catwalk and American Idol. Talking of AI woe is me they didn't put that geeky bloke (Kyle) through. Me sad. Plus the Grace Kelly bloke he should of got through.

10 days to go

Says the voice of Big Brother doom on channel 4. Even I'm pretending I'm hardly going to watch it this year. I will of course watch it all but I'm determined not to enjoy it...

I'm hoping Big Al is voted off Castaway tonight I'm desperate to see how much weight he's lost and I have hated him ever since he said he was going to join the Tories when he leaves... nasty castaway Tory Clare recruiting on the BBC. Tut.

Daniel left ADWD/Joseph I was beyond happy to not have to see his smug smiley face again.

On Grease odd things are happening, swapping the couples around and them all being solo from now on. I want Alison and Kav to win but I smell a horrid Michelle conspiracy led by evil judge David Ian. Oh it annoys me that they split up Alison and former pop hunk Anthony Kavanagh Kav.

Over on everyone's favourite show (well it should be) Chelsea is in the final for the hunt for the next pussycat doll and on American Idol poor Melinda is out making way for tiresome beat boxing Blake and Jordin who spells her name funny.

Any Joseph will do

First I have to mention the HORROR that is grease is the word I think itv should be shut down because of the HIDEOUSNESS of the 'laugh at the mad people' audition shows. I liked the stammer bloke though.

But JOSEPH JOSEPH JOSEPH or whatever it is called is the best thing ever. I'm fairly sure one of the curlies will win and probably Rob, I am fond of Seamus though as he is 35 and everyone seems to hate him. I like Keith too mostly as he works in Tesco with his Mam and girlfriend, which is slightly different to Rob (already working in musicals) and Seamus (asked to sing with Madonna at Live 8).

Other reality tee vee I am enjoying includes deadline (even though it is encouraging my Abi Titmuss love), shipwrecked (I'm looking forward to tonight's as it seems male Jo gets to visit the other island so hopefully more airtime for male Jo) and search for the next pussycat doll which is brilliant (the choreographer seems to be Just Jack from W&G).

And omg what is happening on castaway they are bullying my Jon.

Jonathan spends the next few hours watching Hassan as he struggles down the hill to Banishment Beach, passing commentary on his every move.

Hassan pushes doggedly through, spitting down at Jonathan, who has been sitting on the beach waiting.

"It has to go down as a classic moment in my life," Jonathan says.

That made me laugh. But all the camp have turned against him except young Al and maybe Joe Chicken. Ken went absolutely mental.

Over on American idol Sanjaya was ace this week I couldn't stop smiling and sniggering, it was nice to see him actually be good again. I like this

Democratic presidential hopeful Hillary Rodham Clinton was asked during a WOKQ-FM radio call-in what could be done about American Idol finalist Sanjaya Malakar.

How do you solve a problem like Sanjaya? I'd like that programme.

Press red!

From the BBC

BBCi gives fans watching on digital television the ultimate access to all the action from inside the Fame Academy from 7am to 1am every day, by pressing the red button.

Oh good. I do like to watch 'celebs' eating their tea. I love FA it's like Big Brother and Pop Idol combined thus making it the best thing ever.

The celebrity students are:
Angellica Bell (presenter)
Colin Murray (Radio 1 DJ, TV presenter)
Fred MacAulay (DJ, broadcaster)
Linda Robson (actress)
Mel Giedroyc (comedienne, writer)
Miranda Hart (comedy actress)
Ray Stubbs (BBC Sport presenter)
Rowland Rivron (comedian/presenter)
Shaun Williamson (actor, Extras)
Tara Palmer-Tomkinson (personality/TV presenter)
Tim Vine (comedian)
Tricia Penrose (actress)
Zoë Salmon (Blue Peter presenter)

Rowland. Should be fun. Hopefully less naked than on 'trust me I'm a holiday rep'.

Congrats to American Idol loser Jennifer Hudson who has only gone and won one of them Oscar things.

In other news I'm furious Lisa Scott Lee got kicked out of DOI instead of Mr Freak Hair.

Hell's Kitchen

I presume this is replacing Love Island (r.i.p) if it's in the summer... Digi spy reports

ITV1 has confirmed that chef Marco Pierre White is to appear in the third series of Hell's Kitchen, which returns as part of the channel's summer line up.

It's celebrities... are there any left?

The show, which will see White training a group celebrities in his kitchen, will air over a two-week period in the summer.

Over in American Idol land... sigh... Cat Deeley is still in the UK version only and apparently the bloke from an old UK boy band who didn't get through the last round was only shown here!!!!!!!! I want to see the proper American version ffs. If they want to encourage people to download it and not watch ITV1/2 then they are going the right way about it.

It's safe to come out from behind the settee

The American Idol auditions all nine billion hours of them are officially OVER. YAY! Next is Hollywood week. I can't wait. I want all the rock women and the Fidel Castro bloke and the Jack Osbourne alike to go through please.

Ooh pic of 'Jack'



He's actually called Chris Sligh.

My fave bit of AI so far I think is the person telling Simon Cowell to go back to France! Then when the presenter told her he was English she said he should go back to 'British'! Must be Danielle Lloyd's cousin or sumfink.

Fashion has no mercy

Kelly Osbourne's beret on Project Catwalk was one of the funniest things I've ever seen, I honestly thought she was in fancy dress for a task reason at first. A clip from next weeks seems to see her trying the Tito Jackson look.

Davina was a harsh one to Jo then. Shame Jade didn't get the same treatment. Or Grace. Or Lisa. Or any other of the many BB bullies but then the media didn't care about those ones as they weren't in the celeb version. Davina gets harsh when it hits BB in the pocket non shocker. Just one more day of Danielle on my tv. Hurrah. Good riddance.

In American Idol land someone called Sundance Head went through. That's a good name and he has a story, his Dad was a singer who was knocked off the number one spot by The Beatles. They also put through a bloke with a big beard and long hair who looked like a young Fidel Castro. Fun!

I hope the girls women win immunity

The boys men are obviously too stupid to cope in a fake jungle as seen by their celebrity chest answers two days running. My favourite thing of the last celebrity chests have been the 'WHOOOOO?' remarks when they have seen the little pics of celebs that come with the chests (Jeff 'I am rubbish' Brazier and Torvill and Dean in this case).

I need Phina to stay in please.

I see Kelly is still on itv2... hmph. Itv2 should be abolished I've decided (except when it shows American Idol oh and the Xtra Factor maybe).

Our Anthony

Anthony Murray the child killer from Brookside is on the x factor! Omg! He's through to bootcamp, he's singing swing. Oh dear! They had a swing singing teen on American Idol once it was all very odd. But still he's from Brookie and I liked that. A lot.

My dvd recorder has taste

My dvd recorder hates BB twice it has given up and stopped recording it. I'm annoyed about tonight I want to watch the first celeb x factor in peace but 'something' is happening in BB. So I'll watch one and attempt to dvd other... good luck me!

Having no BB to watch last night because of useless dvd recorder I watched the final of American Idol instead which was ace. Except for the Taylor winning bit obviously. Still haven't seen last weeks when Elliott went out I'm trying to pretend that never happened. I liked the Burt Bacharach bit (medley of songs with him on piano) with Dionne Warwick at the end. Best bit had to be Elliott singing with Mary J Blige that made me laugh, I mean Elliott and MJB! Oddness. Oh and what the feck Clay Aiken's hair!!!! The hair was a shock to me.

And now predictably

I hate Sezer. I liked BBLB the only people who seemed to not hate him were men. Dermot seemed most surprised all the laydee callers didn't love him. Dermot must of been watching the other site when last nights BB was on.

...in omg news today I must watch or tape BB, strictly dance fever, project runway and american idol... even though there is no point in watching AI now

SPOILER ALERT

Elliot is out. Taylor (in BB he would be Cameron) and McPhee-ver (in BB she would be Kate?) in the final. Sigh. This years AI officially a bit rubbish. I'm hoping for a McPhee victory but I'm not that bothered. And SDF where to start stop kicking out good people and get rid of Mark (Jennifer is good though).

Games and stuff!

The Games - Javine and Jade winners no big surprise. I'm now looking forward to tonights champ of champs show, I'm so sad. But we knew that already.

American Idol - Kevin gone. That's not fair I want Bucky OUT and Ace oh and Taylor but that is too much to hope for.

and in AI who 'gives a feck' news.

"American Idol" chat rooms were buzzing Friday over a controversy surrounding Chris Daughtry's version of "I Walk the Line."

Judges praised Daughtry for making the song his own when he performed the Johnny Cash tune on the Fox network show.

But some fans say the version wasn't Daughtry's, but ripped off from one done by the band Live in 2001.

If people do a song in a different style on an Idol or similar show they will have heard it done like that before. People don't put in original performances on these shows, they sing a long with a band, they don't spend hours jamming and changing a song.

Project Catwalk - I was so happy with Kirsty winning and the lovely Matthew coming second. Matthew's clothes were the best in the last task but Kirsty had to win.

Top 12

At last American Idol has finally got to the BIG top 12 stage. Kinnik, Will, Ayla, and Gedeon all left. I wanted Bucky to go I really can't stand him (or understand him when he talks). I love Mandisa I don't care who wins as long as it is her. Even though this puts me off a little

Who is your AMERICAN IDOL? An author and speaker named Beth Moore. She inspires me to live more like Jesus and I want to do the same.

Blimey.

AI the long drawn out results

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Oh just say who has gone for fecks sake. ITV2 showing American Idol as a handy 4 HOUR PLUS show this week. I think I will have aged ten years before they get to the final.

GONE Becki
GONE Bobby
GONE Stevie
GONE Patrick how annoying David should have gone

Quick It Takes Two ness -

Gabi Roslin and Martin Fry going spoiled the whole show for me. I wanted more Martin. Anyway the programme is rubbish.

Quick Dancing On Ice - John Barrowman leaving weeeeeeeeeeeeks ago again spoiled the whole damn thing. Boo.

American Idol a drunk review

My AI review whilst drinking vodka.

Last 12 girls

Mandisa - big good
Kellie Pickler - dad in jail good bit off
Becki - twin long dark hair good bit off
Ayla Brown - basketball tall rich family very musicals mariah
Paris Bennett - I love
Stevie Scott - opera rubbish
Brenna Gethers - diiiiiiiiiiiiiva dodgy then got better
Heather Cox - blonde no good boring
Melissa McGee - good ish bit out of tune boring song no like
Lisa Tucker - good whitney bit off key quite a bit off key
Kinnik Sky - horrible song good but screechy
Katharine McPhee - gooooooooooood just good

Last 12 boys

Patrick - sunglasses good ish but boring
David - sang crazy little thing called love hideous creepy
Bucky Covington - rough grunge wannabe but best name ever!
Will Makar - OC lookylikey not that good bit lanky wrong song
Sway - ill advised hat not that good
Chris - bald metal beard bloke v good sang dead or alive new Bo?
Kevin - looks 12 year old musical quite good well good but young and geeky
Gedeon - is 17 looks 27 fairly good energetic
Elliott - rough Shayne Ward lookylikey ooh good nice voice Simon sez maybe best AI male ever
Bobby - sang copacobana! as you'd expect
Ace - young 'chris in the morning' looklikey good but new Constantine (cute but turned out to be rubbish) or Bo (dead dead good)? that is the question
Taylor - the grey horror he's 29 but looks 49 did good blah ick

Rather depressingly the odd grey haired bloke was good. Blah. How dare he!

Project idol boring job

I love Project Catwalk I didn't know it was on freeview but when Claz mentioned it I found it. I love the mumbly bloke who always has his hand on his face and the Scouse woman. I hate Liz Hurley. Stupid beeeeeeeeeeeeeech.

Apprentice tonight I am looking forward to that. I don't care who wins the boring stupid job at the end it's borrrrrrrrring.

American Idol - THAT GREY BLOKE! I will never understand the appeal of THAT GREY BLOKE!

Back to the curling...sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

Dummies

OH DEAR GOOD GOD! I can't get the horror out of my head. DANCING WITH DUMMIES? Hmm a bad idea. I wanted Colin to win but when I saw the dummies I changed my mind. What was Erin thinking of?

COLIN and ERIN danced their Freestyle routine to You're Easy To Dance With. "It was good fun, but I was expecting a bit more of a performance," said Len. "I thought it belonged to an end of pier summer show," said Bruno. "I last saw this twenty years ago in Vegas," said a disappointed Arlene.

Bad bad BAD dummies. So Darren and the lovely Lilia won. I love Lilia. Now I have the US V UK show next week to look forward to, the US ones (Rachel Hunter and Evander Holyfield) aren't the winners though (they didn't even come top 3 in the US version) so they won't win. Then in January the US one starts again. Woo hoo. Ooh and American Idol won't be far behind!

That's my goooooooooal! I changed my mind during X Factor as well. Journey South weren't very good I blame Simon for not letting Carl play the piano, he needs a prop like a guitar or piano as that is what he is used to standing on stage with DUH. I thought Shayne was best on the night, Andy was just boring, Simon shouldn't of mentioned Andy's recently deceased Mam he was holding it together until then. God Shayne's family are rough, they could live in my street they're so rough. Bless. I like the single it's so crap.

The x factor is bad for my health

It can't be healthy to watch a programme and want to hurt the judges can it? I wanted 4tune to stay in. I wanted Phillip out as every x factor I just sit there thinking the big question who is cuter ShaYne or Phillip? and I really should be concentrating on the songs. I thought Nicholas was the best this week. Andy's song was rubbish, Simon was right. I hate Louis Walsh. Really. Hate. I was dumbstruck that Simon didn't know 4tunes names! I know he is probably spending all week doing American Idol but he could of learnt them umm on the plane at least!

Strictly come dancing was ace. We have a problem with Darren though. The problem is Gloria is rubbish and the lovely Darren could be out soon. But COLIN TO WIN I have always liked him now I like him MORE.

lovely 1



and lovely 2



Other people I am liking on it

Darren Gough - amusing big bloke dancing
Bill Turnbull - amusing quite good dancing

People I am not liking

Brendan Cole - bad man always, in the tabloids again I see today
Fiona Phillips - eww no like, pleasingly rubbish dancer

Colin is going to win anyway.

Group song

Tonight they are all singing 'let it be' how very American Idol.