10 days to go

WEDNESDAY 28 MARCH
Documentary
New series
The Apprentice
9:00pm - 10:00pm
BBC1

Woo and a hoo.

In other busy reality tv news

Monika didn't win project catwalk BOO we shall miss you Monika Patrycja Rene.

Tara won celeb FA WOO.

Some sports bloke won DOI I have no opinion.

I am muchly liking castaway I may be the only viewer.

I want to press red

It's all a bit vague. Do they not go into the house until Wednesday? I keep checking my red button just in case they've snuck them in and turned on the live stuff in secret.

Yay Emily still in DOI I know she's not that good but all those Richmond Hill viewers have phones. Also her partner is lovely. The lovely Daniel. Lovely. Duncan and Clare are quite evil.

I've seen two episodes of beauty and the geek and I am hooked. I was watching Shipwrecked's little brother (hutcam diaries) and it just came on. Oh dear. I'm in love with Josh. Oh dear. I'm quite astounded at the Wes makeover.

Rowland Rivgone

Son and I are happily hooked on Celeb FA. We share some opinions (eg Miranda & Mel good, Tim & Shaun bad) but diverge on others. Colin Murray absolutely massacred Teenage Kicks but son liked it; so did Richard Parks (the fact he is a regular guest on Colin's R5Live show - the actually very good Fighting Talk - is pure co-incidence). But Parks not all bad, he had a go at Kielty which is always a good thing. Ray Stubbs was surprisingly good and my fave of the night, but son's fave was Tricia who was good too. Couldn't tell if that was terror or an Optrex overdose in TPT's eyes. I do normally like Rowland (and hello to the person who came here by googling for Rowland Rivron naked) but comedy boobs are not quite as hilarious as he thinks. He was better on the sing-off without the props, but in the end he went and Miranda & Angelica stayed. Boo cos I'd've liked him to stay in and Angelica was just bland (tho son liked her) but at least Miranda stayed.


In other news: a new series of Castaway starts on Friday. OMG. I loved Castaway 1, so looking forward to it.

Patrick Kielty: an apology

In the past, this blog may have given the impression that Patrick Kielty is an utter waste of hydrocarbons, a man whose appearance on our screens is liable to lead us to sell our tellybox on ebay. We now realise that we gravely underestimated what a fine and courageous anti-capitalism activist he truly is. We send Comrade Kielty our humble apologies and look forward to bumping into him down at the barricades on the next anti-globalisation action.

"If [Cat Deeley] wants to make huge sums of money in one of the few countries that didn't sign up to the trade agreement," he declared to reporters, "then she doesn't care about aid at all. Cat's turned her back on us. Good luck to her and her capitalism." ...

Assuming Patrick was not unveiling a hilarious new comedy character - a parody of a particularly slow-witted sixth-form activist - his position seems confusing. After all, in 2004, he filmed a pilot version of Deal or No Deal for the US network ABC, which announced the show would premiere in March of that year. Alas, the network decided to can it at the last minute - a merciful decision for Che Kielty, no doubt, and one which would ultimately free him up to focus on more ethically unimpeachable jobs such as presenting Celebrity Love Island.

raw sex does fame academy

Yay for Rowland Rivron, I might even have to watch sleb FA this year. It will give me yet another chance to ramble on reminisce about his fine TV work eg being half of Raw Sex and his short lived chat show in which he interviewed guests in the river, I might even have time to polish up my claim to fame with Rowland anecdote. But I am with Jude on the 'no more nekkidjacuziness' point.

Press red!

From the BBC

BBCi gives fans watching on digital television the ultimate access to all the action from inside the Fame Academy from 7am to 1am every day, by pressing the red button.

Oh good. I do like to watch 'celebs' eating their tea. I love FA it's like Big Brother and Pop Idol combined thus making it the best thing ever.

The celebrity students are:
Angellica Bell (presenter)
Colin Murray (Radio 1 DJ, TV presenter)
Fred MacAulay (DJ, broadcaster)
Linda Robson (actress)
Mel Giedroyc (comedienne, writer)
Miranda Hart (comedy actress)
Ray Stubbs (BBC Sport presenter)
Rowland Rivron (comedian/presenter)
Shaun Williamson (actor, Extras)
Tara Palmer-Tomkinson (personality/TV presenter)
Tim Vine (comedian)
Tricia Penrose (actress)
Zoë Salmon (Blue Peter presenter)

Rowland. Should be fun. Hopefully less naked than on 'trust me I'm a holiday rep'.

Congrats to American Idol loser Jennifer Hudson who has only gone and won one of them Oscar things.

In other news I'm furious Lisa Scott Lee got kicked out of DOI instead of Mr Freak Hair.

Celebrity Fame Academy

Woo hoo! Back in March. I hope there is live streaming. I hope a lot that there's live streaming.

People confirmed

Tara Palmer-Tomkinson
Shaun Williamson (it'll be like Night Fever all again)
Linda Robson

That's all I know so far.

In BB news... voting cockup all votes cancelled open again tonight.

you are live on teevee, please do not sing

Poor Jan must've failed to make the short list for "the two of us" and "sleb fame academy". No wonder with her voice but she doesn't need to inflict it on us from the jungle. and Bad David for encouraging her.

I love Craig

EXCLUSIVE: 'SCRUBBER' PATSY
By Cameron Robertson

STRICTLY Come Dancing judge Craig Revel Horwood has branded ex-EastEnders star Patsy Palmer "a scrubber in a puffa jacket".

Horwood, 38, slammed her after she criticised the panel's opinions on the BBC1 dance show.

The Australian choreographer added: "I was furious, I shouldn't have to defend myself to a two-bit actress off a second-rate soap.

"She claimed the judges didn't have any dancing experience when we're all ex-professionals.

"All she had to do was look at the internet to see my CV.

"Patsy needs to stop giving everyone attitude, pull her head in and start listening.

"Although, she has scrubbed up quite well on the show for a scrubber in a puffa jacket who cries all the time." Patsy, 33, partners expert Anton Du Beke, 22, in the show and has made it through to the last six.

Horwood praised the other celebrity dancers - Zoe Ball, Bill Turnbull, Darren Gough, Colin Jackson and James Martin.

He said: "This year's contestants are the best we've ever had, especially the men." He told today's Now magazine that he approved of Zoe Ball having extra tuition with a choreographer. "I don't think it's cheating - it just shows a bit more commitment."

Strictly Come Dancing was narrowly beaten last Saturday by its ITV1 rival. The X Factor got a peak 10.2million viewers, compared to 9.4million for the BBC's ballroom challenge.

But Harwood said that the X Factor, featuring music experts Simon Cowell and Sharon Osbourne, resorted to cheap tricks to keep their viewers.

He argued: "It's all staged and scripted. The judges make the headlines because the contestants aren't interesting."

Craig is so funny (in all sorts of ways) and he has toned down the orangeness since being mocked daily on Celebrity Fame Academy. My fave SCD moments were Craig v Julian Clary last series. But back to the article, it spells Craig's name Harwood and Horwood and says...Anton is 22! If he's claiming to be 22 then so am I.

In other news...Louis Walsh it is claimed has left the X Factor. Hmm I doubt it wouldn't he get sued walking out of his contract?

Sleb FA Betting News

from readaBet.com:

Kim Medcalf 15/8
Edith Bowman 5/2
Adrian Edmondson 11/4
Debra Stephenson 10/1
Dawn Steele 20/1

Adrian Edmondson continues to fight his way through the field in Celebrity Fame Academy and is now William Hill's 3/1 third favourite to win the show.

Bets taken include one from a shrewd customer who stands to pick up a cheque for £1800 after placing a £200 bet on him at 8/1. Conversely, disappointing performances by Debra Stephenson and Dawn Steele have seen them drift in the betting and Dawn who was as short as 3/1 is now available at 20/1.

"We are now left with the genuine contenders for the title and the betting suggests a three horse race between the 13/8 favourite Edith Bowman, Kim Medcalf and Adrian Edmondson. But if you are looking for some value you could do a lot worse than Dawn Steele at 20/1." said Hills spokesman Rupert Adams

Hills Latest Fame Academy Prices: 13/8 Edith Bowman, 7/4 Kim Medcalf, 3/1 Adrian Edmondson, 6/1 Debra Stephenson, 20/1 Dawn Steele, 33/1 Nick Knowles, 50/1 Reggie Yates.

poor ickle slebs

from DeHavilland

Taunted stars of Celebrity Fame Academy have hit back at judge Craig Revel Horwood for being so rude about their performances.
...
And Pub Landlord star Al Murray, who was the first to be booted off the show, said: "It seems mean-spirited to have a go at us.
.....
Horwood branded the celebs' first efforts as "cheesy", "out of tune" and "rubbish", and even told the audience to "p*** off" when they booed him.

Edmondson, who sang Tainted Love, added angrily: "If you're going to sit there and tell people they're rubbish - well, what a crap job to have.

"This is for charity. You could say it with a little more grace."

yeah but no but yeah but right, have none of these people seen pop academy x idol factor before? Surely they know that pantomime villainry from at least one judge is compulsory¹? Stars like Al Murray & Ade Edmonson are not used to this sort of thing, poor little flowers, having never (for example) spent 2 weeks being sworn at by Gordon Ramsay, nor having built a career around getting beaten up by Rik Mayall.


1. Section 7 of The Reality TV (Humiliation of Contestants) Regulations 2001, as ammended

The BBC are spamming me

I have so far received no newsletter from fame academy but two from people signed up to it. Oh dear something is wrong. The first was from someone at WESTMINSTER CITY COUNCIL (their shouting not mine) who sent an automated out of office email and the second from an aoler to the list.

Your links are not working and I haven't the faintest idea how to include my original message, minus the first line in a reply. Will you please accept that yes, I do want the newsletter. I wouldn't have asked for it otherwise!

There was another odd email a returned mail from BBC to the fame academy list.

wooo mystery guest judge

from the FA Site

It's not a case of cloistered information, but some nights the Comic Relief Does Fame Academy 05 judges will be joined by a special guest.

This big name will help oust the poor performers and keep the terrific tenors as part of the judging panel. But just who will they be, and will they know any of the students? You'll have to tune in to find out...

coo who's that gonna be then?

CELEBRITY FAME ACADEMY TO BE BATTLE OF THE SOAPS?

from readaBet.com:

With a runner from two of the major soaps, could Celebrity Fame Academy become a battle of the soaps? Bookmakers William Hill have installed Eastenders actress Kim Medcalf as the 9/4 early favourite to win Celebrity Fame Academy. Coronation Street's Debra Stephenson is the 10/3 second favourite. The writer and comedian Jenny Eclair is the 20/1 outsider.

"It is always very hard to price up this type of programme, but in this case it has been especially hard as we have not had a chance to hear the contestants sing. Therefore, it is possible that one of the contestants has a fantastic voice that we do not know about, so punters could get excellent early value. On Kim's website it proudly states that "Kim is a highly skilled singer specialising in jazz, rock and ballads. She has a mezzo-soprano voice." "So who are we to go against that." said Hill's spokesman Rupert Adams.

Hill's latest outright betting: 9/4 Kim Medcalf, 10/3 Debra Stephenson, 7/1 Christopher Colquhoun, 9/1 Reggie Yates, 10/1 Nick Knowles, John Culshaw, Edith Bowman, Dawn Steele, Adrian Edmondson; 12/1 Al Murray, 14/1 Gina Yashere, 20/1 Jenny Eclair.

Anyone who had money on Al Murray's gonna be disappointed, he was first one voted off.

yay for reality tv

Two new shows to eat up time I'd otherwise fritter away working or spending time with my family.

/dusts down blog ready for new 'point & laff' fun ...

1. Sleb Fame Academy (or "Comic Relief Does Fame Academy" to give it it's offishul title) started tonight. I was only half watching (flippin kids and their flippin toys with 150 small almost but not quite identical pieces of plastic that have to be built now mummy now now now. Surely this is what Chinese children are for? tsk). Some random thoughts:

• Patrick Kielty - die die die die die (preferably before I have to on holiday to a country where you have your own TV show waaah).

• Go Jon! I'm backing the one of the funniest men on t'wireless (tho he's pushing his luck, what with his best mate appears to be the least funny man on t'wireless ever and his Mick Fucknall alike stage routine).

• I'm also backing Gina. She's my kinda gal.

• Edith's dress - no.

Jude will probably be along later with some more intelligent analysis.


2. The Apprentice. I'm loving this. I saw a bit of the US version when it was shown here. The great thing is, one has complete freedom to hate every single person involved with this show. All the contestants are exactly the kind of people I loathe. Hah. This week, 2 words - Sack Adele.