stupid bitch

Brother's Dawn 'on hunger strike'

Stupid idiotic cow (actually that was an insult to cows) with all the passionate past things people have gone on hunger strike for. All the injustices and attrocities in this world, we are meant to have any form of sympathy for that self centred silly little wannabe from BB?
So?
Dear Dawn,
I personally do not care if you never eat another thing ever again. You are a disgrace. People across this world are starving and dying from no food and lack of water and YOU are moaning about a silly TV programme?
You're out of the spotlight and want your extra 5 minutes of fame. You are pathetic and therefore I will never mention you ever again.
Disgusted from Bristol

Geek task!

Oh dear. I wondered why Imogen was wearing Jack Duckworth style glasses on the live feed.

Throughout the Geek Task, all the housemates will have their powers of observation tested as they spot trains on a railway that Big Brother has installed in the garden. After that thrilling interlude, they will be divided into three groups and learn maths, language or science skills.

X Factor - Gillian McKeith out. I was hoping for the glamour model to go whoever the feck she is. I think the chefs will win. But then I also think Glyn has a good chance in BB... Isn't Sharon Osbourne being vile? 'ginger minge' 'no knickers' I thought XF was a family show tsk. Obviously she hates Rebecca Loos and James Hewitt but if one half of Brand Beckham had kept his pants on there would be no media career for RL.

Another one gone!

George has left! Imogen and Grace quite upset. What happens on BB if everyone leaves?

Welcome to the newbies

Yay! Aisleyne and Sam. Both were won (surprise surprise) by Pete who was very amusing in the diary room. So... Aisleyne is one of those very strange blonde women (job - model & promoter) and Sam is so very young (says 18 on offish site). Davina made much of the 'will they know she's really a bloke' angle but Sam told everyone straight away anyway. Sezer was very 'don't trust them they've all seen the programme they are evil liars' to everyone behind the newbies back. Sezer is a bad man have I mentioned that?

P.S. Paul Daniels and Debbie McGee out of celeb x factor already.

New ones official

From the offish site

Two new housemates are among the prizes on offer in tonight's live game-show task.

I'm sure they will win tonights 'prize' but a big GRR at them doing it during the first x factor. Boooooooooooooooo. Etc.

I've just seen yesterdays repeat I see Lisa is being put forward as this years bunny boiler... she can't be as possessive as Sezer he creeps me out.

My dvd recorder has taste

My dvd recorder hates BB twice it has given up and stopped recording it. I'm annoyed about tonight I want to watch the first celeb x factor in peace but 'something' is happening in BB. So I'll watch one and attempt to dvd other... good luck me!

Having no BB to watch last night because of useless dvd recorder I watched the final of American Idol instead which was ace. Except for the Taylor winning bit obviously. Still haven't seen last weeks when Elliott went out I'm trying to pretend that never happened. I liked the Burt Bacharach bit (medley of songs with him on piano) with Dionne Warwick at the end. Best bit had to be Elliott singing with Mary J Blige that made me laugh, I mean Elliott and MJB! Oddness. Oh and what the feck Clay Aiken's hair!!!! The hair was a shock to me.

Meal or no meal

I'm liking the meal or no meal task. Even though a small schoolchild made Lea cry yesterday with their description of her ('iffy'). They've won the crisps and coke, meat and fish but Imogen lost all the toilet roll. Oops!

Now the twin rumour

Digi spy have it I'd quite like the identical twin thing to happen with them switching about in the diary room. Anything to confuse the little BB bunnies. Even though ideally I'd like to see Sezer's Mam put in just to see what she's like to have such a pig for a son. Grace may be worse though, take the Jennette Winterson conversation on last night. (Sezer likes lesbian authors apparently!!!!!!!!!) Grace said like Germaine Greer? She's like a proper feminist isn't she? In the voice of someone who thought feminist was the worst word everrrr.

Bonnie evicted

Poor thing she didn't stand a chance even though she did provide the first laughs of the series with the pronunciation of her name.

Davina was awful but I don't like her (for the past few years) so I am biased. The Dawn bashing on BBLB and the eviction show by the presenters makes me annoyed. Grr.

BBBM was good as usual. The official BB Dawn boycott probably includes Big Mouth but I'd like to see her on it like Shahbaz was tonight.

Something is happening on Monday... new/old housemates?

Predictable

AS Davina utters those famous words 'You are live on Channel 4, please do not swear' will Pete be able to contain himself?"

from the sun. I'd be more worried about feck this feck that Lisa if I were BB. Not that I believe any of it goes out live...

Can't say I'm bothered at all about the first eviction I just want something to happen (like getting rid of them all and bringing in new people) that will change the current situation. Tasks! New housemates! Old housemates! Bars! Anything!

never saying never .... but ....

OK I know if I said that's it, I'm not watching BB anymore, that I'd probably make a liar out of myself within 24 hours. But right now, I'm not that interested. I had a bath instead of watching BBLB tonight. I can't get interested in what Dawn may or may not have done. I don't give a stuff about some wannabes snogging each other.

When does IAC ... start?

Dodgy job alert

Lea says she is a presenter on a web 'tv' channel about cars! Fail to mention that on digi spy - Occupation: Model and Pigmentation Artist and the offish site - Job: Model/single mum. Nikki asked if she had to show her boobs - Lea said 'oh god no' then someone else (a bloke Pete?) asked why they chose her!

Now Dawn has gone

Hmm. Dawn has been removed for breaking the rule of communicating with the outside world.

Lea quickly brought everyone up to speed about how Dawn had devised a plan with her family and friends: if there was any bad press about Dawn, she would receive a cunning 'your sister is ill' message. The secret message was delivered to Dawn yesterday, but of course Big Brother sussed her out.

Bad press? Hardly any compared to the rest of them! I think Sezer should be removed for locking Shahbaz out of the house there must be a rule about that. What will they do with the phone votes now? In particular phone votes for Dawn? There are rules BB have to keep as well but they probably have some special small print terms and conditions for voting when someone is removed. Which is probably why she's been removed it suits them rather than her just leaving.

what a bunch of bastards

Yes Shahbaz was an annoying prick (either clinically or putting it on) but the others were hideous to him like a gang of nasty playground ... not bullies exactly ... but the way the cool kids treat the weird kid who smells a bit. Feckers.

Dawn walkie next?

Dawn prepares to leave the house

after branding the show "ridiculous" and "a pantomime".

Having learned that she was facing eviction - and more importantly for her, not receiving her suitcase - Dawn immediately announced her decision to walk out.

"I have my morals and I have my integrity," she explained. "I'm going home now!"

Oh no. With the only ones who are not modelling themselves on some Heat cut-out-and-keep Sleb Template gone, BB7 is not going looking good.

Bono, Dawn and Glyn for the vote

I'm confused as live feed is all tweeting birds but Dawn, Glyn and Bonnie are up for eviction apparently and Dawn may be leaving anyway. Mikey thinks it will be good for Glyn as he will have more confidence when he's voted for to stay by the public. I want Glyn out just to annoy Mikey.

will the truth out?

Shahbaz on BBLB tonight wooo I have to go out booooooo

Bonnie favourite for eviction

I don't want Bonnie to go. She's favourite because she's female and female goes first on BB. She's made more impact than surf boy Glyn. How is Glyn like BB6 Eugene? Grace was insistent he was and the public would like him. I have a feeling one less girl and Grace will be happy.

Glyn has gone skinhead this morning quick someone ring paddy power and see if this changes the odds.

Shahbaz's 15 minutes

what the papers say (don't you just love the scent of self-righteous indignation in the morning ... with perhaps the merest hint of eau d'hypocrisy?)

• Sun: Shahbaz storms off set
  TROUBLED Shahbaz stormed out of the Big Brother house last night — after show bosses gave him an ultimatum: “Get on with your housemates or get out.”


• Mirror: A BIG DISGRACE
  Shahbaz should never have been in house, storm mental health experts


• Gruaniad: 'Unhappy' Shahbaz leaves Big Brother house
  His departure came after a leading mental health charity wrote to Channel 4 to complain about the admittance of vulnerable people into the Big Brother house.


• Daily Record: I'VE COME OUT
  TROUBLED Scot Shahbaz last night walked out of the Big Brother house - setting a record for the shortest-ever stay.

Grrrrrrrreat

Shahbaz has gone (boo) and Mikey (ARGH) has taken over as co-leader of the bruvvahood and chose feckin George (!?*^$) as the next member. I hate BB. Then the rest of the 'hood decided that BB might spring the next 'who's in the hood' question on them early in the morning and they decided to vote. So Dawn, Imogen and Nikki should be the next hoodies, leaving Glyn and Bono up for possible eviction. The only thing making me happy is Sezer sitting next to a sign pointing to nowhere. Well let us hope that's true.

Shahbaz Gone

Shahbaz has been kicked out of the house today for his increasingly bizarre and unpredictable behaviour. Too much of a wild cannon. Hmm the most excitement and controversy in the first week of the show. Lets hope there is no eviction this week, let them all have their suitcases and start again.

Dress up

I had to turn off they are all dressed odd(er) and the laydees are in suspenders with 80s hair.

I wonder if any of the 'lucky' kitkat winners still want to go in?

Darryn Lyons is on BBLB BOO but so is Rhona Cameron YAY.

walkies?

'Shahbaz gone' rumours on BB fora ...

edit: false alarm, he's still there

one man's meat ...

Bad Loaded man launches some hideous BB babes totty dvd thing (wot no Michelle?) and says

"Loaded has fulfilled every young man's wishes and compiled the ultimate 'Big Brother' dream team -- mercifully free from tiresome urban poets and transvestites."

Urban poets and transvestites are my BB dream team

Sezer sleazy pig man

Sezer has sleazered before on BB according to the mirror he was a trial HM 2 years ago with future HM Becki (pretended to be from Italian BB) oh and he has a 'dark family secret' his Dad is in prison (probably in next cell to Shayne Wards Dad in some showbiz wing).

I want to vote

I hate big brother when can I vote someone out (Not Nikki)? PLEASE let me vote someone (not Nikki) out. I need to split up one of the nauseating 'couples'

I love Nikki. I know I hated her the other day but all the others are so awful at least she's funny.

Will they all be up for eviction? (except da bruvvahood)

bruvvers - Sezer, Shahbaz, Richard, Lea, Grace, Pete and Lisa
non bruvvers - George, Dawn, Imogen, Glyn, Bonnie, Mikey and Nikki

Nikki and Dawn are the only keepers from that group I think. So it will probably be one of them evicted. ARGH!

I think they have more of the brotherhood to pick so it may just end up with 2 non bruvvers and they're up for the chop.

a WOMAN!!

Sun says Shahbaz is on suicide watch. No over dramatising things there then. They also report that he "once dressed as a WOMAN to promote a transvestite club night". A WOMAN? quell horreur, I'm shocked that men dress as WOMEN to advertise tranny clubs.

Highlight show scary scary scary

they missed out the 'show us your cock' from Nikki and Richard and Shahbaz obliging and also missing was his (Shahbaz) rent boy story. But included the vomit making 'ooh look at us all being daring in the pool' and Pete comfirming the well endowed press (Lisa looked very impressed).

I feel unclean. Again.

Boo him!

Sezer to Imogen (in bed) - 'I signed up for fit dirty birds not prick teasers from Wales'

'jokingly' but he still needs someone to kick him where it hurts.

I really don't know

what I did before you tube came into my life... the kitkat ad with the ex housemates and Shahbaz in his intro showing just how normal and cool knitters are.

Offish site clip of the day (Shahbaz hiding the food) - I give it a mad rating of 8.

badman Shahbaz

What he said last night that made Lisa very very cross:

"Fscking hit me Lisa so they can throw you out," Shahbaz urged. "Bye! Send me a postcard. Sucky sucky, ten dollars. Fscking incoherent idiots,"

other news: Nikki is a 'bedroom babe' this week's Nuts, looking like someone put her head on backwards.

hurrah for local papers

quite possibly my favourite thing in BB is the local paper's coverage (they'll have to go some to beat Hull's Backing Dan a couple of years ago)

North Wales Daily Post: Our mate Glyn's not the Big Bore "On Saturday nights we usually go out in Llanrwst and this year there have been quite a few parties with a lot of us turning 18"

South Wales Evening Post: IMOGEN'S FEAR OVER KISS AND TELL STORIES then goes on to reproduce said stories

Leicester Mercury: SKEGNESS RUSE GETS BONNIE ON TELEVISION Bono's mam says Mrs Holt said: "Bonnie ... went to the auditions in Birmingham and she pushed to the front of the queue. She'd had a couple of cans beforehand to steady her nerves and she said some shocking things. ... She told the Meadows Care Home, where she worked, that she was going away to Skegness. Big Brother then had to ring them up and explain that Bonnie was very sorry." ... Bonnie's turn in the limelight has also made the family the centre of attention for less desirable reasons. Last month, Bonnie's half-brother Clyde Mactavish, 28, was jailed for more than three years by Leicester Crown Court after being arrested in Loughborough with a stash of heroin hidden in his underpants. I have high hopes of the Leicester Mercury.

Manchester Evening News: Lisa's big bother on Blind Date BIG Brother contestant Lisa Huo is no stranger to the small screen - she once went on a Blind Date trip to South Africa with a rugby player. ... Tony, 28, who is now a rugby coach, told viewers: "I so wanted to get away from her that during our meal I went to the toilet six times for a breather." The best bit is where people who know her add their comments - Clint says " I used to work with Lisa and she was a right larf, in fact I quite fancied her "

ooh-er

gosh it all got a little bit overraught in the house last night. I missed most of it but as we know Shahbaz got his todger out, then he had massive rows with Lea and Lisa (I did see Lea in the kitchen in a 'hold me back, hold me back' stance with Richard), told everyone he'd come into the house to die, Richard decreed everyone should send Shahbaz to Coventry but that lasted about 30 seconds before he started talking to S again. After all the others had gone to bed, S took all the food and hid it. He's starting to scare me.

In other news: Nikki's friend says we shouldn't point and laff about the bottled water incident because she's an anorexic and thinks tap water makes you fat, and making her drink it could make her suicidal. Lea has also tried to top herself in the past, according to 'friends'.

OMG it's all becoming clear now. Shahbaz has been sent in to start a new Heaven's Gate stylee suicide cult. They'll all swallow koolaid tap water & haliborange on hearing the sacred signal - a disembodied voice saying "This is Davina"

Boxes thing on E4

Sezer has (first) eviction immunity. I am sad.

Oh and the offish clip of the day is Sezer in a wig. Rubbish.

eeww, do you mind?

Shahbaz has been waving his todger about. Now he's upset that everyone says it's a little one and he's threatening to show us it when it's grown. Ick. Time for me to go to bed. Also there was some task to do with boxes and presents and the Big Brotherhood but I wasn't paying attention so will have to wait for BBLB/highlights show to find out what it was all about.

Aufwiedersehen Austin

omg etc. Project Runway in omg bitch witch Wendy made the final shocker. Her feathery orange concoction was chosen by some woman to wear to the grammies - thought the bust line was hideously unflattering but what do I know? I liked Austin's creation, the fabric was gorgeous, tho as the flashback shots showed, he has been making bascially the same dress each week. Jay's skirt was lush and Cora's dress was nice tho the trousers weren't. And it's not the final next week boo instead there's a reunion bitchathon yay.

I don't usually do this kind of thing but

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

ahem

Gillian McKeith has threatened to pull out of the Celebrity X Factor competition. The TV diet expert was furious after learning that show judge Louis Walsh had claimed that she "looked like a bus" and accused her of having a "huge ego".

Kit Kat update - Kit Kats bought today = 0

monochrome set, my friends

Is it against C4 by-laws for anyone on BBLB to wear colour? Dermot, Nadia, AnTHony, the bloke off queer eye, the audience ... the only one wearing colour was queer eye guy's dog.

In other news, I watched 10 mins of live streaming last night during which Nikki was expressing astonishment on hearing that her tits might be in the papers and her friends and family on BBBM, of which she claims never to have heard. Has she not watched BB before? Has she no tv? Does she not read the papers (or at least look at the pictures therein)? Or is she possibly not quite 100% for real?

Oh yes I have a complaint

No BBLB or BBBM on Monday! I suppose it's because there is this new one 'Big Brothers Big teevee 'experts' speaking the bleeding obvious' or whatever it is called! I've never really liked the psychology shows and I've already gone without BBBM since Friday... Poor me, poor me, pour me a drink indeed!

Big Brother's Big Brain Mondays, 11.05pm A new live show presented by Dermot O'’Leary, BBBB puts the housemates on the couch for intensive analysis. Our terribly brainy psychologists dissect the housemates' behaviour and conduct 'experiments' in the House. Watching this will will make you more clever. Fact.

Wonder what the experiments will be? Hopefully the draize test on Sezer and Mikey.

And now predictably

I hate Sezer. I liked BBLB the only people who seemed to not hate him were men. Dermot seemed most surprised all the laydee callers didn't love him. Dermot must of been watching the other site when last nights BB was on.

...in omg news today I must watch or tape BB, strictly dance fever, project runway and american idol... even though there is no point in watching AI now

SPOILER ALERT

Elliot is out. Taylor (in BB he would be Cameron) and McPhee-ver (in BB she would be Kate?) in the final. Sigh. This years AI officially a bit rubbish. I'm hoping for a McPhee victory but I'm not that bothered. And SDF where to start stop kicking out good people and get rid of Mark (Jennifer is good though).

from the sundays

News of the World has shock horror young women enjoy sex stories about Nikki and Imogen (accompanied by 'tits oot' pics).
More "woman has sex" shocks in the Sunday Mirror. In an astonishing twist, the People goes with 'man has sex' revelations.


What the old HMs say:
Cameron in the Sunday Post

I certainly don’t fancy the urinals in the bathroom. At the risk of sounding indelicate, when we were leaving the Big Brother 4 house we were cautioned always to use cubicles in public rest rooms to minimise unwanted attention.

Shel in the Sunday Mail

I'm dying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The clip on the offish site of Nikki DYING from having no clothes and no bottled water is absolutely hilarious (unfortunately you have to watch a film clip first boo)

I'm torn between she must stay in and someone must slap her. I'm pledging my full BB support to the first HM to tell her to shut the feck up you stupid spoilt whining bitch. Ahem.

Rubbish mini task

They are giving them glue, is this wise?

Pete reads -

today housemates will be revamping their wardrobes

silence

tweeting birds

30 mins to design t shirts

show the group

silence

tweeting birds

will be rewarded

get into pairs

Shahbaz - let's get Pete to read all instructions think of all the bleeps

Me - hmm let's not do that, too many tweeting birds

It's like project runway without hilarious postal outfit antics.

fist impressions

Someone PLEASE give Glynn his suitcase. I'm not sure I can bear to look at his skinny frame and nipples any longer. I do wonder if both him and Nikki actually watched the programme the last few years, or maybe they're just incredibly stupid. They NEVER get given their suitcases immediately. So don't wear next to nothing in the house!
Nikki was throwing a hissy fit last night because she was going to have to wear her mascara to bed!! How dreadful. Her whiney voice irritates me already.
Pete has been dishing out his clothes from his newly aquired suitcase. He lent Imogen some trousers. He is a prime example of don't trust first impressions as he's kind of ok. I think we will like him even more as the weeks go by.
Shabaz, however, is too much. Already threatening to leave. I do believe that if they persistantly threaten to walk out they should be MADE to go. Orlaith drove me mad last year.

scraps from the tabs

BIG BUDDIES - Grace & Nikki once worked together in Horrids' perfume counter. And Grace's mum said

She's very good friends with Calum Best, but I know she hasn't slept with him - she would have told me

eew. Never trust anyone who tells their mum everything. It's not normal and it's not right.

Shahbaz's Gay Hell

Shocked friends watched as his father Muzammil - who was later prosecuted for assault - beat him with a claw hammer outside his school in Glasgow.

and crucial news from Peterborough Today: I dated Big Brother's posh totty

curses to the weather gods

I have no reception on itv/c4/e4. Missing BBBM is upsetting me more than missing the c4 highlights show.

lookie likies

so far we have:
Mikey = poor man's Vernon Kay
George = poor rich man's Dermot
Lea = Pete Burns
Pete = Lee Evans (not Jim Carey, imo)
Nikki = Vanessa Feltz

any others ?

tra lalal

Well it's building nicely for the big house split as per normal. This time we'll have the weirdos vs the poshos.
George, Sezer, Grace, Nikki, Mikey and Imogen in one corner and Lea, Bonno, Shabaz, Pete, Glyn, Lisa in the other. I have a feeling Richard and Dawn might float a little.
We all float down here.
ps Pete is Jim Carreys Double.
Ummm apparently Lea is sure fire certain to shag in the house. After seeing her 'work' (pure porn) I could understand why people would say that.But who in their right mind would shag her?
Sezer? George? Glyn..... yep my bet is Glyn. Innocent little welsh 6th former. His whole life could be ruined. Hope his Mam lectured him before he went in.

Presses red button

Bonnie is crying! I can't understand a word she says at one point.

Shahbaz picks up a cake the others were eating and throws it in the bin (why I'm not sure)

The others get it out again

Shahbaz is a bit shocked about this

Richard, Pete and Sezer put Dawn's wig on.

Pete is a new Brotherhood member.

Richard says they should pick girls next time as they want their clothes more.

Press! Dawn in the local paper.

Just a thought... on the offish site by the HM pics it says their name then 'present' then age etc. Why does it say 'present'? On digi spy in the profiles it says 'Current Status In House' is it possible they will be going somewhere else? I've not seen the 'present' thing before that's all!

I hate you so much right now... ARGH!

Nikki. It's a shame as I prefer to hate men in general but you came and ticked all my hate boxes.

You are very talented though as we can see here (warning nekkidness)

Backing dancer for various tribute bands and tease websites (?) I'm surprised you found the time to go into the house.

The others plus added Nikki insult

Bonnie Bono ~ silly 'banned from working in any factory in the whole of Loughborough' wow
Dawn ~ she wants to 'raise her profile in the field' what field? there is no cow
George ~ drinks with the kiddy Osbournes so probably just out of very posh rehab
Glyn ~ FOOL small child new Stuart needs a slap
Grace ~ the other posho
Imogen ~ bar hostess ‘Miss Wales’ tabloid slapper
Lea ~ promising so probably first out I feel bad for calling her Jodie Marsh’s Mam now as she is obviously Pete Burns really
Lisa ~ need her to stay in please
Mikey ~ 'model' ugly sexist pig version of Vernon Kay
Nikki ~ stupid outfitted cow will end up with pig footballer who will dump her as she is a moo
Pete ~ has already achieved his wish to be a 'famous Touretter' Kate Moss rumoured to be dumping Russell Brand as we speak
Richard ~ fears pregnant women! I just fear Davina myself
Sezer ~ looks like that singer in the ‘boys will be girls’ band I wish the singer was in the house instead
Shahbaz ~ 37 unemployed for 21 years bound to be the one I like that everyone else hates this year
Kit Kat winner I HATE THEM ALREADY THE BITCH

naughty bbc

own up, which picture editor named this? tee hee

<_41662956_poshos_416.jpg>

reminds me to mention George's trousers. D'y think he bought them like that, or did all his rugger-bugger-ra-ra-ra mates tear them off him and sign them as a souvenir?

Ble mae'r Eisteddfod?

Glyn's been told off for talking Welsh with Imogen, it's classed as 'talking in code' by BB. Could they tell Bono to speak English too?

shelter my heroes

Yay. Despite my disgust at the kit kat ticket scandal.... forcing people to buy chocolate Nestle rubbish... I am warmed to see
BB is supporting the charity closest to my heart Shelter. I won't mind Voting now.

This year, 10p of every vote cast during Big Brother will be divided between three charities: Shelter, Teenage Cancer Trust and a third to be chosen by the series winner.

evil kit kat

I hate kit kat. Bland bits of cardboard wrapped in fake chocolate substitute.
Apparently the first BB ticket has been found and yesssss is on sale on eBay. The bids over 6 grand so far.
Hmmm
Wonder if that's allowed?

crikey they're even selling bloody kit kats on eBay. How sad is that?

morning has broken

BB's first twist/trick/thang last night

"Lisa and Shahbaz, you are now the founding members and leaders of a very exclusive organisation - the Big Brotherhood," said BB. "Members of the Big Brotherhood will be afforded special privileges. Privilege number one: only members of the Big Brotherhood will receive their suitcases.

"Privilege number two: members of the Big Brotherhood will be immune from the first eviction next week."

As a final privilege, Lisa and Shahbaz will be responsible for selecting new members to join the Big Brotherhood - but only when Big Brother invites them to. As well as receiving their suitcases, these new members will also be immune from the first eviction.

The duo were warned not to discuss potential Big Brotherhood members with anyone else and, upon exiting the diary room, they chose only to reveal that they alone would be receiving their suitcases.

Unbeknownst to them, however, the rest of the group had been watching the dialogue on the lounge plasma screen - but collectively decided to play dumb to avoid making it worse for the brave pair.

I hope they invite Glyn to join first, I don't think I can cope with watching his bare weedy chest for long. Mikey has his shirt off too, ick. The boys (Glyn, Mickey, Richard, Sezar) are trying to out-macho each other with pushups etc, meanwhile Dawn critiques their technique hah. Lea is going on about being boo-ed last night and how it doesn't bother her but she's upset for her son having to hear that. Yeah, who knew that if your mum goes on BB you might hear people say nasty things about her?

all freaks, no geeks

The worst has happened, the tabloid reports turn out to be true, Jodie Marsh's nan et al have gone into the house.

• Bono - what language is she speaking? could BB please provide sub-titles? Her brother is called Clyde, some people should not be allowed to reproduce.
• Pete - he's in a band, he likes to dress up, oh and he's got Tourette's. It is the law that he shall always be referred to as 'Tourette's sufferer Pete'. He's the one with the hamster.
• George - hurrah, a posh one for us to hate, comprende?
• Shahbaz - I was liking the knitting and the Bay City Rollers' Jacket, I went off him when the shrieking started. And went on. And on.
• Lea - or 'Busty Lea' as it is mandatory to call her. Jodie Marsh's nan, & Pete Burns wannabe. 35 my @rse.
• Imogen - Welsh stunna etc etc. Seemed quite nice actually.
• Mikey - hates ugly people (must suffer terrible self-loathing then) and feminists. Not nice.
• Dawn - my favourite on day 1. Thinks life's depressing and doesn't want to make friends. Says "I point out people's mistakes, which I am always right about as I never lose an argument". Actually I think she's me.
• Glyn - 'North Wales' Sexiest Lifeguard'. How many lifeguards are there in N. Wales?
• Richard - compulsory outrageous gay man [insert "why do they have to ram it down our throats" gag here]
  
• Grace - another posho for us to despise, BB you are spoiling us!
• Lisa - I like Lisa based purely on Manc solidarity. If she calms down she could be good, I think.
• Sezer - loadsamoney innit
• Nikki - she can't really be like that, can she?

Quite possibly the worst batch ever (it is also the law that you have to say that about every series). Production team going all out for fights and shagging this year.

Remember Lesleh?

"Earlier this year, it got so bad that I attempted suicide," she continued. "Using the handle of my hairbrush, I crushed a whole bottle of paracetamol tablets into a potentially lethal powder. I had every intention of swallowing it, but my mother came in and found me lying on my bed, sobbing.

Using the handle of her HAIRBRUSH? She CRUSHED the tablets?
How dramatic. How sad. What a bunch of crap. Why are we still reading or even acknowledging this waste of oxygen?
People are saying Bonnah is the new Lesleh. Don't allow her a hair brush then.
Talking of hair, those awful Lea Hair extentions won't last long. Didn't they learn anything from the vile Makosi?
Is she a woman? I have to say she looks awful manish to me.
My teen is already drooling over George. You go girl. Grab mummy a nice rich son in law.

BB and Baileys

I'm excited. I have a bottle of Baileys and the TV remote. Big Brother 4 minutes. I've already brought the series pass.
I'll hate it. I always do.
Jude's texting me song lyrics.
Here goes

OohOOhweeOOHweeOOH

I do like the day BB starts it's like Christmas Eve.

The Sun today on the maybe housemates...

*one has slept 'romped' with Dwight Yorke eww (who hasn't?)
*one has been unemployed for 21 years (member of royal family perhaps?)
*pal of Prince Harry (this is the one I want in. I need some posh prats in the house)
*a knitter (weirdo)
*a mum (shock horror is it claz or trin?)
*gay barman (OMG I may faint in shock)
*bagpipe player (umm)
*hamster man (man with hamster)
*someone who has been celibate for 7 years (or SEVEN years as those studs at the sun say)

etc etc ETC. I would like at least one or two women who aren't a porn star/page 3/whatever type and a posh person please. If they are as good as Craig/Derek/Kemal/Makosi I'll be h.a.p.p.y. A quick eww at Kemal and Kinga kissing on that BB programme yesterday btw.

the build up continues

check list for this evening:

• tv
• digibox
• phone (landline - to be answered during the ad breaks only)
• phone (mobile)
• laptop
• asda cava
• fine selection of nuts
• rising feeling of mild hysteria mixed with disbelief that I am yet again going to be drawn in to spending so much time on this show

The Daq

Ooh eeeeee the housemates are on Celebdaq no names just numbers! Should I buy HM 3 or 8? Decisions... HM 7 is currently the most expensive!

big match build-up

It's getting like the Cup Final Build Up, the run-in to BB is becoming a national ritual. Instead of the teams in their hotels & what they had for breakfast, we get HM rumours and 'where are they now' features on the old ones, like this one from Sky

In other news Michelle robber-of-the-badger Dewberry has dumped Syed and taken up with someone off EastEnders, apparantly.

Big Brother Eve

Today The Sun can't make up its mind about a person with Tourette'’s. Are they a sufferer or a victim? They just don't know!

One thing I do love about BB this year is the BB bunny. I expect the kit kat winner to leap out of it.

Ooh the silhouettes are up looky! Two of them look like Makosi so possibly not the real silhouettes. Unless the housemates are all old ones cloned.

don't have a cow, bro

There's going to be udder chaos in BB7
The rumours that the HMs will have a cow to look after this year are going strong. The bookies are offering odds of 50-1 that the HMs eat the cow, & 16-1 that the cow wins.

other betting:

• 8/13 Male Winner
• 6/5 Female Winner
• 5/4 An Infrared Camera to catch a couple copulating
• 2/1 Davina to give birth before the end of the show
• 9/4 A full scale Punch-Up
• 4/1 A housemate to Escape
• 4/1 A Housemate to leave within 24 hrs of the start
• 10/1 A Housemate to smuggle a TV, Radio, Mobile in to the house for World Cup results
• 16/1 A Celebrity housemate to be brought in for at least a week
• 16/1 A Housemate to fall down the stairs on arrival.
• 50/1 The contestants to fail every task

Wot, no odds on the ALF breaking into the house and liberating the cow?

Seems unlikely to me that they'd put a cow in. There's been a lot of complaining in the past about them not being nice to the chickens, a cow would attract more complaints shirley? Also cows produce an awful lot of cow pats (although it would make a regular task I s'pose, save them from thinking up anything original).

perverted spunkiness

and that's just the house, according to Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen:

I love the spunkiness of the fitted carpets ... very perversely suburban. That's the complete joy of it. It's as if Cynthia Payne came round and decorated

I am soooo bored with the claustrophobic house confrontational thang yawn.

Thrilling!

Watch a bored Michelle from The Apprentice have some pics taken of her only in this weeks NOTW. Woo.

I am hating all this BB news in the tabloids I don't want to know who the housemates are yet GO AWAY until Thursday. Hopefully they are all fake housemates anyway, especially this one...

Lea had her breasts enlarged from a petite AAA cup size. Tony said: "With all her ops she looks like a pumped-up Pamela Anderson and it is the boobs which really stand out."

No, she looks like she could be Jodie Marsh's Mam.

And she showed it all off in an X-rated skin flick with porn actor Tony James, 30 —who claims she'll be gagging to put on a repeat performance when BB7 starts on Thursday.

Yes because channel 4 are likely to show a repeat of that during BB aren't they? I feel unclean now.

Michelle is officially rubbish

Outraged internet users were today umm OUTRAGED when they read that Michelle winner of The Apprentice used to work for the rubbish ISP tiscali.

Over the next five months, she continued to impress Gill, who later took her to London to work at Tiscali as a project manager. Michelle played a significant role in out-sourcing the call centre in India.

Internet users were said to be now hissing and booing even more at her name.

no texts please, we're quizzing

For the good of my quiz team, I have to Go Out tonight. Hence I will be in full Likely Lads mode re: the great Blonde vs Badger show down, until I can watch in on broadband in the morning. Please not to txt me with OMG x won/lost etc. Of course if txt you with a question about who was runner up in the 2nd series of Strictly Pop Dancing, you are obligated to provide the answer instantaneously.

edit: the team cried off, so I get to watch Apprentice hurrah

Press release

Quite interesting to skim the BB press release

new psychology show for Monday night Big Brother'’s Big Brain with Dermo

free video clips! gee you spoil us BB

10p from each vote going to charity

net streaming a one off £7.99

Scary

How bad/good is celeb x factor going to be?

Chris Moyles joins Hollyoaks' Jodi Albert, TV nutritionist Gillian McKeith and magician Paul Daniels and wife Debbie McGee.

From the Mirror

Starring Michael as Makosi

Over at BB OZ ...

It's a mission with an interesting twist. Michael has one week to surreptitiously convince eight Housemates to nominate him for next week's eviction, all - of course - without being caught.

What's next for Michael the mole? Pretend pregnancy? Prostitution?

which wendy will win?

Ruth & Michelle are both Wendys, apparantly. Blond Wendy vs Badger Wendy, can't wait for Wednesday.

In other news, News of the Screws does it's annual 'bb contestants revealed' story. I mean what is the point? If they are right, now the producers will just go and change them. Meanwhile Barbara Ellen wrote this article about Lost - to watch or not to watch the next series. It's how I'm feeling about BB ...

We are all sentient adults, we can decide to watch or not, engage or not. Pick up the phone to our married man, or... Oh dear, I've picked up the phone. I won't stay on long, I won't get 'involved', I just want to say hello really. A little voice inside me is screaming: 'Don't do it, your life won't be your own for the next million episodes.' But guess what, he's saying things will be different, he's sorry about all that silliness, all those loose ends, and he's promising to make it up to me. You know, I think he's really serious this time.

boycott big brother?

The latest BB shock twist wizard wheeze is the distribution of 'golden tickets' in kit kats. One of them will entitle the holder to sell it for a small fortune on ebay be a BB housemate.

This blog will not be in with a chance as we haven't bought kitkats, or any other nestle products, for years, and we're not going to start now. Because

Nestlé is the target of a boycott in 20 countries because it aggressively markets baby foods, breaking World Health Assembly marketing requirements and contributing to the death and suffering of infants around the world.

Visit Babymilk Action's site to find out more about why you shouldn't buy kitkats either. Why not buy some yummy fair trade choc instead?

Michelle: winner or loser?

OMG Michelle made the final. Sir A seems very taken with her, it all went bit cardboard box? in the boardroom there for a minute. Nick (I think) remarked that she's seduced him. According to Paul, she's seduced Syed too. Eeewwww. I wouldn't touch him with yours.

I still want Ruth to win, even though I would like to give her a serious talking to about how having no qualifications is not something to be proud of (tsk). Michelle obviously does have talent but she does that classic thing women do and hides behind a facade of nicesness so none of the boys feel threatened. Whereas Ruth just barges in and says what she thinks. At this blog we like girls with balls, oh yes we do.


Paul's interview surely vindicated all I've been saying about his Brentness. All his boasting about his brilliance and he's not earning loadsa money after all, the way he ranted about Big Issue sellers in his application!

Bitchy BB

BIG Brother 7 housemates will be allowed to discuss nominations for the first time— as bosses go all out to guarantee fights.

Contestants will also be ENCOURAGED to forge secret alliances to maximise bitching and back-stabbing.

From The Sun

Guarantee fights? Like when the police were called and they had to remove Emma? Hmm. I can't see BB this year topping the beginning of last years, Makosi should of been made a Dame for her good work (apart from when she nominated Craig and Mary boo).

More on BB TeeVee allegedly Big Brother's Little Brother 7.30pm weekdays on E4 and Big Brother's Big Mouth (Russell pointy boots and stupid tight trousers) after the main BB nightly show. An unofficial guide to the BB presenters...


I'd like a big tabloid scandal about Dermot this year please (ok not too big nothing awful).

BB Australia (will there be a BB housemate swap?) has the bedsit this year and a 'secret to the rest of the house in the first week' Mother and Daughter. Oh and there is a MOLE (unfortunately it isn't Glenn Hugill).

Big Brother OMG it's SOON

People keep telling me Big Brother starts on a Thursday this year! A Thursday! The world has gone mad.