The Games 06

Rumoured participants in The Games this next year.

Peter Duncan - Blue Peter legend
Goldie - Blue Peter legend
JK from Radio 1 - don't ask me
MC Platinum B - Blazin Squad apparently
Jade Jones - Emma Buntons on off boyfriend
Darren Day - ha ha bad man etc

Michelle Gayle - Eastenders, Grange Hill and Born in the USA
Javine - Didn't get into The Aloud
Ebony - a model or something
Amanda Lamb - Place in the sun and Scottish Widows advert
Bernie Nolan - Brooksde, The Bill and the mighty NOLANS
Carol Decker - Scary woman who I like

My first time with E4 for The Games obviously I can not wait. Think it starts after Celebrity Big Brother. I don't know who Ebony is but the womens line up looks good. Bernie V Carol woo.

Still no Mole

I'm so bored I got all excited about seeing the name Glenn Hugill on the end credits of Deal or No Deal Yes! Glenn Hugill! The presenter of The Mole is a/the producer of DOND and may be the banker (and I just thought it was Noel Edmonds talking to himself).

Seasons Greetings Readers!

Seasons Greetings Reality TV lovers... we have celebrity BB to look forward to in 2006.
I'm a tad dissapointed that so many people bought the Shayne Ward song and made it number one...but I won't let your dreadful misjudgement ruin my festive cheer.
Anyways. May you have an entertaining, enjoyable and very Merry Festive Season from us at Reality Towers.... from Clazza, Jude and Me the delectable Trinity.
ATM Clazza is in a drunken stupor after too much cooking Sherry and Jude is washing up. I'm off for a lovely Bubble Bath and an early night to read Jade Goodys autobiography (right)
Merry Christmas and a Very Happy New Year.

That's his goal.

My local Radio has boycotted the Shayne Ward Xfactor song. 'That's My Goal' GWR reckon it's crap and a disgrace to music.
We at Reality Towers examine the natty little tune that's tipped to top our Christmas Chart this 2005.

"You know where I've come from,
(Indeed Shayne. You come from the most Chav Manchester family ever, and we've been forced, in a journalistic mode, to watch Xfactor until it's bitter end)
You know my story,
(yeah yeah)
You know why I'm standing here, tonight.
(because Westlife have hid their stools?)

Please don't go, don't be in a hurry,
(But, I need to pee)
I'm here to make it clear, make it right.
(Make my pee clear? You've have a job I drank a litre of red wine an hour ago)
Well I know I've acted foolish, but I promise you, no more.
(thank God for that... You're going to give all this singing crap up? Right?)
I've finally found that something, worth reaching for.
(The Buy one get one free Fosters on the top shelf at Co-op?)

I'm not here to say I'm sorry, I'm not here to lie to you.
(You need to apologise to my ears you fool)
I'm here to say I'm ready, that I've finally thought it through.
(I can assure you , you have NOT thought anything through, have you seen Michelle MacAnus lately?)
I'm not here to let your love go, I'm not giving up oh no.
(Oh no, oh no is quite right)
I'm here to win your heart and soul. That's my goal
(Every hole a goal Shayne)

Please don't go, you know that I need you.
(You need us to buy your crap)
I cant breath without you, live without you, be without you.
(A bit bloody extreme but I am rather delectable... True)
Well I no I've acted foolish but I promise you no more, no moore .
(Patrick Moore, or have they got these lyrics wrong?)

Well I wont stop believing that we will be leaving together.
(I won't be leaving anyplace with you. Your family look like the Manchester Mafia)
So when I say I love u I mean it for ever and ever, ever and ever.
(For ever ever ever ever? You pinched that from Miss Jackson)

I'm not here to say I'm sorry, I'm not here to say I'm sorry, I'm not here to lie to you.
I'm here to say I'm ready, that I've finally thought it through.
I'm not here to let your love go , I'm not giving up oh nooo
I'm here to win your heart and soul.
Yes I'm here to win your heart and soul.
That's my goal."
(My heart isn't some raffle prize. Damn, what awful lyrics)

So, my final words on this atrocity they call a CD? a catchy little tune. Hanging on the shirt tails of a popular reality TV show.
He'll need to do a lot more than this to be a stayer.
Like maybe? Come out as being Gay or bash a toilet stall worker and nick her lollypop? Probably best not to shag Jodie Marsh though.

Dummies

OH DEAR GOOD GOD! I can't get the horror out of my head. DANCING WITH DUMMIES? Hmm a bad idea. I wanted Colin to win but when I saw the dummies I changed my mind. What was Erin thinking of?

COLIN and ERIN danced their Freestyle routine to You're Easy To Dance With. "It was good fun, but I was expecting a bit more of a performance," said Len. "I thought it belonged to an end of pier summer show," said Bruno. "I last saw this twenty years ago in Vegas," said a disappointed Arlene.

Bad bad BAD dummies. So Darren and the lovely Lilia won. I love Lilia. Now I have the US V UK show next week to look forward to, the US ones (Rachel Hunter and Evander Holyfield) aren't the winners though (they didn't even come top 3 in the US version) so they won't win. Then in January the US one starts again. Woo hoo. Ooh and American Idol won't be far behind!

That's my goooooooooal! I changed my mind during X Factor as well. Journey South weren't very good I blame Simon for not letting Carl play the piano, he needs a prop like a guitar or piano as that is what he is used to standing on stage with DUH. I thought Shayne was best on the night, Andy was just boring, Simon shouldn't of mentioned Andy's recently deceased Mam he was holding it together until then. God Shayne's family are rough, they could live in my street they're so rough. Bless. I like the single it's so crap.

Woo Yawn... yeah yeah

Shayne won. I actually felt Andy was the better performer and the nicer man. Bloody heck, wasn't Kate Thornton all over Shayne? I thought she was going to give him a BJ there and then on stage.
The song is crap... Really crap.
Most poignant moment was Andy's little boy sobbing because his dad didn't win.
So, another one to add to the reject pile... Steve Brocklepot, Michelle McMoron, etc etc etc.
Edit* oh yes. Kate to Andy. "You might be a bin man Andy but you aren't Rubbish", after he just lost to the guy with the testicles missing (high voice)
Nice Kate.

Zzzz factor

Don't Carl and Andy from Journey South remind you of Miss Piggy and Animal from The muppets?
All a bit insipid.
We're on the Christmassy bit now. I hate all the songs. The girls got excited to see Shayne at The Trafford Centre earlier.
I'm not sure having Westlife singing in the background did a lot for Shayne's cause in my mind.
Twats.

Who wins? Who cares?

I'm not sure if I care but Zoe and Shayne both winning their shows would annoy me. With scrictly come dancing I'm still torn between Colin (fave celeb) and Erin or Darren and Lilia (fave pro) and on the x factor I don't think it really matter who wins as we saw last year with the runners up being the success story (2nd album in at no 1 the other week). Shayne and Andy have been the faves all the way through so I am hoping for Journey South just for the hell of it.

Songs tonight unless they change them!

Andy
Me and Mrs Jones ~ bad
Oh Holy Night ~ like The McManus won pop idol with this
When a man loves a woman ~ hate hate hate this song

Shayne
If you're not the one ~ boring
When a child is born ~ oh god
Over the rainbow ~ ooh like

JS
Let It Be ~ blah
Happy Xmas (War is Over) ~ hate
Don't let the sun go down on me ~ like

Oh and not forgetting the traditional winners song I presume they will all be doing. Now just have to decide in which order to watch both shows tonight. ARGH.

Spaced

God, Space Cadets is so boring it was ok until they went into 'space' then it went a bit dreary and live streaming of people asleep is always a joy. I do like Charlie the actor a lot though. Today they are going to do the big reveal to the ones who didn't get chosen, we are meant to believe they are all still at space base hardly believable. I'm sure this was all filmed months ago so why say it is live all the time. I just don't know why they bother with these new shows when they could just do The Mole or Survivor or even The Murder Game, shows with fans wondering why they are never making any new ones.

reality tv betting scam?

From C4 news:

Reality TV shows like the X Factor, Strictly Come Dancing Big Brother and I'm A Celebrity appear to have been the targets of a massive betting scam.

Online bookie Betfair became suspicious when large amounts of money were placed immediately before results were announced on the X Factor.

According to reports, fraudsters were tipped off by a telecoms worker who had access to the results of viewers' polls before they were announced on air.

George? Derek? Yes please!

Boy George set for Celebrity Big Brother?

Boy George and Anna Nicole Smith are the latest stars to have reportedly signed up for the next series of the reality show.

Channel 4 bosses have also lined up comics Johnny Vegas and Jimmy Tarbuck, according to the Sun.

Celebrity BB begins in January and will also feature Most Haunted's Derek Acorah and TV diet doctor Gillian McKeith.

I find it hard to believe Boy George would go on. The thought of him and 'Dr' Gillian together is a good one. Please let Derek Acorah be on PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.

that's just mean!

I didn't think it could be done but at last, a reality tv show goes just too far even for me.

I caught 2 mins of Space Cadets tonight, when the not-spacemen/women thought they were seeing the Earth from space. Those people were really moved. Seeing the Earth from space would be one of the most stunning moments of anyone's life. But in a few days they're going to have that taken away from them, and everyone going ho ho ho it was all a joke how funny. This is Bad and I don't like it.

Yeah so they're all probably reality tv wannabes who deserve what they get, but it still feels Wrong.

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Woo etc. Sorry, WOO ETC! 5th or 6th then make your mind up.

Ban This Evil Filth!

Here I am, innocently channel hopping after the end of Bring Back The Christmas Number One! when I happen upon the repeat of X Factor Academy Idol on ITV2, with Journey South massacring, murdering, mangling and defiling Let It Be. The horror. It will take quantities of Aretha¹ and Jameson's to stop me having nightmares.


1. Yes I do know it's a Beatles song but I adore Aretha

4 Left... X-factor draws to a close....

4 acts left. Andy the bald nice crooner, Shayne the wanna-be Justin Timberlake, Journey South who have gone distinctly North and Brenda the bouncy Big Lungs.
Ok we had Andy. Not sure about the song. "Everything I do" it was ok. He was obviously nervous, maybe a tad lack lustre. I liked him dragging his kids out... But it made me laugh because their faces said "Piss off dad, let us go back and get out ipod headphones on... We were listening to McFly"
Journey South. Good choice of song. Rod Stewart suits their voices and harmonies. But why do they never sing the whole song? That one has a lot more to it. FFS.
Brenda. 'Respect' I do wish someone would teach them to keep the microphone to their mouths and not have this half a word jobbie. Tsk, pushing members of the public won't get you votes Brenda. Not my fav song of hers though. I think Simon wishes she was his.....
Shayne. I don't like this guy but he has thrown out a couple of gems in the competition. JT he is not though.
Louis quote

"I don't think any of us realise how Big Shayne can be"

Oooerr Louis.
What a dull song... Was that some insipid Westlife crappy crapness?
edit* My mate rang me during the last 4 songs.. calamity. How devastated was I to miss them (not). Danielle aged 11yrs. Bristols greatest Critic says they were all 'Just Lush'
Ah well, have to take your word for it won't we Danz?


OMG Brenda out? It has to be the woman factor doesn't it? though I guess they voted for Bloody Michelle Mcmanus.
Brenda wasn't humble enough. She was too full of self crap and confidence. The British public like the humble disadvantaged one with the disability. They feel they've voted for something 'worthy' then.
Hey don't fret Brenda... the winner never gets the girl anyways.

Dancing copy cats

I have been feasting on the last series of Dance With The Stars the US remake of my beloved Strictly Come Dancing, it is all exactly the same, the theme, the set, Len and Bruno. I thought Rachel Hunter won but the last one I saw she got knocked out. The next series is soon, contestants are ready to rumble so there is my new year sorted.

It's me! I am the one watching Space Cadets. They are all idiots especially Paul. One of the actors has left he got poorly sick. Good.

What's next?

Well there is that channel 4 programme with the horrible Johnny Vaughn about people thinking they are in space or something and then there are all these! I love that site. There is also this which I want tickets to.

The full line up of contestants is: EastEnders’ Nicholas Bailey (Dr Antony Trueman) and Michael Greco (Beppe di Marco); Emmerdale stars Roxanne Pallett (Jo Stiles), Lucy Pargeter (Chastity Dingle) and Sammy Winward (Katie Sugden), HollyoaksÂ’ Lee Otway (Bombhead) and Coronation Street Shobna Gulati (Sunita Alahan), Wendi Peters (Cilla Battersby-Brown), Andy Whyment (Kirk Sutherland) and Richard Fleeshman (Craig Harris).

Craig to win he was good on stars in their eyes and he is the son of Jackie from Brookside so I look forward to seeing her in the audience. No hang about Kirk and Cilla are on it, I'm torn now.

my blood ran cold

I did want Carol to win, in a 'best of the rest' kind of way. But when A&D said "Queen Thatcher", I got scared and had to hide behind the settee.

YAY!

Thatch wins! Everyone did nasty trials in the last day (snakes, rats and eating icky things). Great end to IACGMOOH! Especially the result, ha.

Vote Thatch

 

Even though she did date Jonathan Aitken. Eww. It was a long, long time ago.

When she was glam.

[insert deity of choice] moves in mysterious ways

Jimmy out? Sheree and Sid in the final? I changed my mind, there ain't no gawd.

edit: on the up-side, there's some good choons goin' down in the jungle tonight. The White Stripes and The Undertones? Producers, you are spoiling us

I've seen the light

As I drove up the M6 today, a vision arose before me and Chorley FM came in my ears saying "Verily, support Jimmy to win IAC and the lord may forgive you for your Osmond Undies Obsession". Can't argue with that. Also can't say I like any of the others any better. I'm not buying Sheree's shrieky girlie thang, nor her oh-so-ladylike-I-never-fart-or-wee crap. I'm not much more of a fan of Thatch's Game Old Bird^TM routine, either, and Sid is just plain bobbins. So, support Jimmy and be saved. Or get two wives. (Perhaps Bobby was a Mormon and all his wives are called Von, that's why he kept going Von Von Von Von, he didn't want to leave anyone out).

I'm a strictly x factor dancing

Patsy Palmer is out of strictly come dancing. It was either her or chef James and judge Arlene was right too many people fancy James and he got to stay. So just Zoe Ball left from the women. I'm torn between Colin Jackson and Darren Gough to win. I like Colin but my fave proper dancer left is Lilia and she is with Darren.

Chico gone. At last. I do like him but he can't really sing, well not as good as the others. Oh well he gave us annoying kids on stage and indecent pics so that was fun. Journey South had bad songs to sing but not as bad as Andys he was so rubbish on his first song and the 2nd one was 'let's pretend as he is 40 he has to sing songs from one billion years ago' again. Please give him something modern he is 40 not 140. I hate Andy going on about 'the fans' you could be forgotten about in a week so stop it.

IACGMOOH Bobby gone. Good. Next Sheree and Sid please (unlikely but I can hope). Sheree going on at Carol farting was ridiculous. Everyone does it, get over it. They are eating beans every day!

yes it's the double

Chico and Bobby gone. Hallelujah!!
FFS don't go running to the shops to buy 'It's Chico Time Again'
Yipppeeeeeeeeeee Come get me Santa.

xfactor celebrity overdose

Duhduh dum dum dum
Bobby Ball bites the dust
duhduh dum dum dum dum
Bobby Ball bites the dust

Chico next and Me and Judeee will be well happy.

Celeb was good. The Thatch is a legend. I felt sorry for those rats. Sid is cool. Sheree is such an embarrasement to poor Harry (nice smooth bum and stretch marks) she makes me laugh. Jimmy is just adorable. If he tours again I'd love to go and throw me knickers at him.

X factor... Andy. Nervous. All samey now. 1st Song horrific. I do like him though.
Shayne...I hate him. A bad Jimmy Sommerville.
Brenda. Good Voice but crikey one for the Pensioner Cd buying brigade.
Chico... Horrendous tacky and talentless.
Journey Soth... Go North young men. I hate you. You are not star material.
Winner Brenda. Yawn.

Puke

OMG What the feck is that Chico routine all about? He just tipped Sharon's water over his own head, ripped off his shirt and exercised his pecs to the music.
VOMIT inducing material indeed.
Yeuk..... I feel dirty now.

ABB

Anyone
But
Bobby

I daren't look at the odds, in case he's in with chance. Send him home to Von now!

reality (tv) check

Could someone please explain to Sheree the difference between Television and Real Life? Just because Ticia in Emmerdale died as a result of a tree being struck by lightning, doesn't mean that this is going to happen to her in real life.

there's a turn up

David Dickenson voted out. Didn't expect that. S'good tho. Serves him right, nasty orange man.

kimmy wimmy

"Kimberley’s face reflected the range of emotions she was going through - "Should I stay or should I go?"..."

The only emotion the bitch has shown all week then. Can't wait to see it.

I am not alone

Mormon Undies Watch going on over on the Digispy boards, too.

Craig! More crazy pics!

He really is the gift that just keeps on giving at the mo. More pics! More! His sulky face makes me laugh. In other news...Was Sid really in the bottom two? YAY! I hope it wasn't a pretend bottom two.

Bye Jills

Goodbye Jilly. Your hair offended me anyways.. and your voice and..... well everything actually... but let me get this straight. More people voted for Bobby Ball than Sid?
WHAT?
Didn't Kimberly look good on the side of the Copter? Pouting perfection I say.
Can't see her going back to camp TBH # ribs are rather painful.

Jilly was robbed!

bah! I can't believe it. Well I can. The way they set her up in the editing, it was inevitable. Pah.

tsk

you people, what are you like? Honestly, the things some people google for. Sorry but this blog is not the place to come for chico xfactor c*ck photo. Nor have we any michelle bass n*de. We're liking the googler for "I'm a celebrity" "cannon and Ball" sexism, tho.

Kim! Kopter! Latest!

She's cracked a rib, apparantly

Kim! Kopter! Drama! Breaking! News!

oooh
Kim in Celeb copter horror sez the Sun

I'M A Celebrity contestant Kimberley Davies has been rushed to hospital after she tried to jump from a helicopter into a lake, it was reported today.

The ex-Neighbours star, 32, was airlifted to hospital at 2.30am UK time when she fell awkwardly in the water and suffered a shoulder injury, news.com.au reported.

bye bye Bobby

Bobby Ball evicted last night. Or was it Tommy? Oh yeah, Tommy. Whatever, that's half of Cannon & Ball down and half to go. Although I could almost wish Mr Perma-tan Dickenson gone in his stead. I can't make my mind up, does he really hate women or is he just scared of us? Bit of both, I expect.

since you've been gone

owing to Life, I haven't seen much of IAC ... for the past two days. There was something about a Jungle Jail on tv, I vaguely remember, but it's all a bit hazy. Anyway, all back to normal tonight in time for the first eviction hurrah! but it seems that Jilly is fave to go booo! also Kimberly. Shame it's not Cannon and Ball. If we could vote both of them off as an item, I might be tempted to break my self-imposed reality tv voting boycott.

Observer Journo on Carol T:

A childhood regime of emotional neglect, boarding school and outdoor sports has certainly prepared Carol for the social and physical rigours of the jungle.

Some people we used to know

BB party for Christmas or something. Check out page 3 for amusing Craig pics. I hope it's true about him being on Celeb Fat Fit Club

It's Karen and Bill!

So happy very happy. Bill Turnbull is annoying. I liked that Arlene got up and hugged him when he got his marching orders though. Aww see Strictly Come Dancing is one big happy family really. They're all doing two dances next week woo. I love this programme it is so funny. I liked Anton in pink that made me laugh, him and Patsy were in the bottom two again how unfair. I read in the tabloids today Camilla has left James Martin (her celeb dance partner and alleged partner in other ways) and gone back to dirty rotten (left her for his celeb dance partner in series one) Brendan. It is all so complicated this dancing and partner swapping.

Over to best news ever.

Strictly Dance Fever Is back and Graham needs you!

Graham Norton will soon be on the road looking for new contestants to compete in a the second series - to be broadcast in 2006.

WOO! Just the word Lindyhop makes me excited. I can't remember if Craig is a judge on SDF I hope so.

IACGMOOH - That trial was a bit boring it was like a ride at Blackpool except way up in the air. The boring old men are still boring me.

X Factor - Simon Simon Simon... as lovely as Chico the person is, saving him is going too far, but everyone thinks you did it so Louis didn't have to, so whatever! I did enjoy Andy messing up at the beginning of his song. Ha ha.

Rats

I smell a rat. A big one. Do the makers of X Factor think us reality TV bloggers are dumb?
First Loser Louis Walsh threatens to walk out of the show that gives him front page room. Then he 'returns' to a heros welcome... then Simon chucks off his own group over the dreadful Chico?
Fixed bloody fixed. Fixed so Louis didn't have to make the ultimate decision. I hate the Toothy Conways but Chico?
My electric toothbrush has more going for it. Least it has a purpose in life.

bye bye baby

WTF Has TPT got on? Some weird hanky shaped top, that's cut out at her pubic area and a dark ,very very short skirt. I keep looking and thinking the black micro skirt is some rather bushy pubes.
Also the top is highly unflattering, her boobs are sagging dreadfully.
She looks like a right slapper.
I'm off to Manchester with Clarrie.
Pray for me.
Pray for her.....
This is the word according to Trin.
xxx

Racy ! ? !

Jenny Frost has made a valiant attempt at spicing up jungle repartee by playing the 'porn star name' game with fellow I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here contestants.

About as racy as something very unracy. I'm bored of all the old men in the jungle and the young(er) ones they're not much better. Probably as they just sit around and do no trials. They should do the trials in order it is stupid all this voting and so predictable.

buggy

I hate the Bug Eating night. One year I phoned HTV to complain about cruelty to the live little buggers, but the spectacle continues year after year.
I was secretly (just between me and you) pleased that tonight's event happened with little fuss from Jilly and Carol. Carol is indeed as Iron as her Mother. She perfomed the task with the most matter of factness of them all. I guess we were meant to snigger and gasp at her chewing on a testicle and sucking the skin off a kangaroos' penis? Yeah yeah yeah.
I'm still vexed that those little bugs are eaten alive though. I'm pretty sure it's much less cruel to stamp on them.

I love Craig

EXCLUSIVE: 'SCRUBBER' PATSY
By Cameron Robertson

STRICTLY Come Dancing judge Craig Revel Horwood has branded ex-EastEnders star Patsy Palmer "a scrubber in a puffa jacket".

Horwood, 38, slammed her after she criticised the panel's opinions on the BBC1 dance show.

The Australian choreographer added: "I was furious, I shouldn't have to defend myself to a two-bit actress off a second-rate soap.

"She claimed the judges didn't have any dancing experience when we're all ex-professionals.

"All she had to do was look at the internet to see my CV.

"Patsy needs to stop giving everyone attitude, pull her head in and start listening.

"Although, she has scrubbed up quite well on the show for a scrubber in a puffa jacket who cries all the time." Patsy, 33, partners expert Anton Du Beke, 22, in the show and has made it through to the last six.

Horwood praised the other celebrity dancers - Zoe Ball, Bill Turnbull, Darren Gough, Colin Jackson and James Martin.

He said: "This year's contestants are the best we've ever had, especially the men." He told today's Now magazine that he approved of Zoe Ball having extra tuition with a choreographer. "I don't think it's cheating - it just shows a bit more commitment."

Strictly Come Dancing was narrowly beaten last Saturday by its ITV1 rival. The X Factor got a peak 10.2million viewers, compared to 9.4million for the BBC's ballroom challenge.

But Harwood said that the X Factor, featuring music experts Simon Cowell and Sharon Osbourne, resorted to cheap tricks to keep their viewers.

He argued: "It's all staged and scripted. The judges make the headlines because the contestants aren't interesting."

Craig is so funny (in all sorts of ways) and he has toned down the orangeness since being mocked daily on Celebrity Fame Academy. My fave SCD moments were Craig v Julian Clary last series. But back to the article, it spells Craig's name Harwood and Horwood and says...Anton is 22! If he's claiming to be 22 then so am I.

In other news...Louis Walsh it is claimed has left the X Factor. Hmm I doubt it wouldn't he get sued walking out of his contract?

I quite liked Jungle Drums today

Apart from half way through when I fell asleep. Janet Street Porter was good slagging everyone off saying Kimberly had had loads of botox and Davinia Taylor joining in. I couldn't remember if Davinia Taylor was the one who's been in the press (all that Sadie Frost Kate Moss stuff) and rehab lately so I googled and it was her. She's Jenny Frosts best mate apparently.

Hot! Off! The! Press!

Elaine Lordan not returning says Digi Spy.

Already I have gone off

Sheree. The person I liked before the show started. She doesn't like cute birds, she doesn't like dogs, she couldn't pick up after a dog. People who say they couldn't poop a scoop (umm scoop a poop) really annoy me. Especially ones that are parents and must of changed at least one nappy in their life.

so we're fag hags, what you gonna do about it?

Hurrah, Mr Gay UK, Big Brother and IACGMOOH all combine in the Huddersfield Daily Examiner to create quite possibly my favourite local newspaper article of the year so far:

Mr Gay UK from The Huddersfield Daily Examiner

BY the time you read this one of the highlights of the gay calendar will have taken place the Mr GAY UK final. I've been running this competition now for 14 years and there have been a whole host of celebrities involved.
...
This year we were looking forward to having Jenny Frost, ex-Atomic Kitten star as part of the panel. She loves the events we run in Leeds and Manchester and had a ball at the final last year. I was quite surprised when she told me she was going to have to pull out and I was upset that she wouldn't tell me why.

It was only later that she told me she was actually going into the jungle to take part in I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here! She swore me to secrecy as her contract with them meant she couldn't tell me the reason she wasn't coming to Blackpool at the time. I think she'll be great in the programme, but I don't envy her having to eat all those creepy crawlies!

She said she will be back in time for my wedding in December though which I'm glad about. I'd better not ask you to vote for Jenny though look at what my `kiss of death' did for Chenai in the X Factor!

The judges this year should be popular with the audience. We have Kemal and Craig from this year's Big Brother on the panel. They're both really strong characters and clashed a few times in the Big Brother house. There may be some fireworks with them appearing together especially with all those sexy guys on stage to argue over.

If only it had Pandas, it'd be perfect.

sleb odds: sid slipping?

From readabet.com:

William Hill have cut the price of Sheree Murphy from 6/1 to 4/1 following strong support in the last twenty four hours. Sheree is now Hills second favourite behind Sid Owen the 11/4 favourite.

Hills spokesman Rupert Adams said, "Punters have really taken to Sheree after she conquered her fear of flying and we would not be surprised if she became the favourite in the near future."

William Hill I'm A Celebrity: 11/4 Sid Owen, 4/1 Sheree Murphy, 4/1 David Dickinson, 7/1 Jimmy Osmond, 8/1 Carol Thatcher, 9/1 Antony Costa, 10/1 Jenny Frost, 16/1 Kimberley Davies, 20/1 Jilly Goolden, 33/1 Elaine Lordan

Rock on Tommy

So...Cannon and Ball? A journo mentioned them on the ITV2 show and it wasn't denied. Wonder if they'll turn up? Bet Jimmy knows them from the Blackpool circuit.



They're on the same Blackpool page here.

Jungle Drums

Well then that has to be the worst programme ever. Presented by the genius that is 'that annoying bloke from the big brother talk talk ads' how could I ever have thought it could be even watchable. Will people stop going on about Carol Thatcher weeing it is enough to want me to leave the country all this male sniggering over it. I did like Shelia Ferguson calling Jimmy Osmond 'fatty' and Carol a 'mad cow' though.

Thankfully strictly come dancings spin off show was on next and was lovely and not a big heap of sexist rubbish.

live streaming my @rse

They've got one 2-hr long clip they're just playing in a loop. Pah.

day 1: questions questions

Jimmy Osmond 'smuggling' episode:

• is that anyway for a god-fearing mormon boy to behave?
• why didn't he just take a cruet set as his luxury in the first place?
• is he wearing the special mormon undies under his jungle clothes?


• is it just me or was the way he said "hello mother" a bit worrying?

Elaine's collapse:

• can we take 'exhaustion' to mean what it normally means in sleb-land?

Carol's pee-gate:

• have these people never been camping and woken up desperate for a pee and just popped round the back of the tent instead of walking all the way to the toilet block? erm not that I have, obv, but you know, I gather that's what some people might do hem
• nurse trin, why did she need to wash her hands as they hadn't come into contact with anything untoward?
• is this too much information for this time in the morning?

David Dickinson:

• who knew he was married to Tina Turner?

Quote of the morning
Man on R5, admiring Sheree's pluck, said if her husband showed that much detemination and spirit, he'd be much better footballer.

Day one in the IACGMOOH house type jungle

Now don't tell me no bloke has ever 'gone' in the jungle instead of going to the proper toilet before? I'm a bit annoyed at them showing that. Then on ITV2 I saw David Dickinson's behind. Someone help me!

I liked Sheree before the programme I've always liked her, but how can I not support a fellow Mormon? (ok I'm very much an ex one and I was a child so don't judge meeeeeee) I'm torn, Sheree or Jimmy...

I miss The Durdo :( cue pic



The Durdo is away playing with his new twin babies but I watched ITV2 anyway. Oh dear god the sketch was just awful. They did 'comedy' sketches on the ITV2 Hells Kitchen show and they were bad. Please stop. Now. I liked the sweary koala though. TPT was as mad as ever, well done TPT.

The fave to win is Sid apparently. I dunno. Emmerdale is v popular and Sheree had one of the best characters in it. Then you got The Osmonds...and The Duke. I don't want him to win that is all I ask.

stop celeb news

Stop press
Carol Thatcher takes a piss by her bed, down come the yellow pants and bobs your uncle.. did she wash her hands post wee?? NOOOOOOOO
Jimbo O sneaks in Salt and Pepper in his teddies butt. WTF good that's going to do with no food, Morman God knows.
Sherrie and Anthony Blue have giggling fit whilst empying the Porta Potties. Anthony likens it to singing with Sir Elton.
............................ gtg mum says I have to go to bed now.......

IACGMOOH - Google Search

4th we are.

Ooh. Check out the sad second one. Robb get your mind out of the gutter.

Important update

Jimmy Osmond singed by camp fire

Now how else could you get headlines like that? God bless IACGMOOH.

yellow thatch

Aren't yellow pants exclusively for Liberal Democrat supporters?

First things first

Strictly come dancing ~ NOOOOOOO Bill the newsreader still in and Will the pretend paramedic gone that is just wrong.

X factor ~ Sharon was so bad doing that to The Conways taking up all their time slagging off Louis then she did it to Journey South as well. But she came good in the end sending Nicholas home.

Now let the madness begin! IACGMOOH!

'Lynne Slater' has already 'collapsed' in the jungle but she's ok now. I'm worried about her being in the jungle doesn't she have an alleged obsessive thing?

saturday yet again

X factor is embarrassing. Sharon's pop at Louis is so unprofessional and darn embarrassing. I'm cringing, it's not The Conway Sisters fault that they were picked. Having said that though, I didn't like their performance at all. Old,old, old!
Ok and on to Andy. Bloody hell that man has a velvet smooth voice and is incredibly likeable, plus his stage persona to throw yer knickers at. Well done Andy.
Oh dear.... Clarrie our partner in crime rang me during the performances... And I missed a lot of them. What will Jude say? hahah
(I'd much rather talk to Clazza :)
Well I caught Journey South singing Angels... Predictable crap. They won't win and that Shayne fella that I liked a while back. He's fecking rubbish.
Oh yesss and Chico. Singing his own song? Disposable pop trash. Visions of the Cheeky Girls wizz painfully past my eyes.
Vomit making material

Chico through again and that dreadful song is being released just in time to fill your Christmas stockings. How lucky are we. Haven't we suffered enough? FFS you idiots, stop your 8 year olds having access to the telephone. If this man wins over the rest I will have no option but to destroy telecom central. You have been warned.
God car crash TV or what? The Conways are crying. I reckon Sharon will kick out the Irish girlies tonight... they aren't going to win anyways so they may as well swallow it.

Crikey.. Nicholas gone. The Conways were gobsmacked. They seemed to be of the opinion Sharon hated them.
You know what?
I fecking hate that I'm hooked on this crap... now where's the number to that rehab centre?

IACGMOOH!

Annalise from Neighbours! I'd prefer Steph Scully but anyone from Neighbours is good.

Sheree Murphy. Tricia from Emmerdale! Yay!



I expect she will be dressed like that at all times in the jungle.

Jimmy Osmond! Give him a break from starring in strange shows in Blackpool.

David Dickinson I'm not into the whole Bargain Hunt cult. I am a Cash In The Attic fan myself. You can't be both. It's the law.

I still hoping Alex James will be a late or secret addition.

sleb line up announced

BBC says so, so it must be true:

• Carol Thatcher
• Jenny Frost
• David Dickenson
• Sid Owen
• Elaine Lordan
• Jilly Goolden
• Jimmy Osmond
• Sheree Murphy
• Anthony Costa (ex-Blue singer)
  
• Kimberley Davies (Annalise off of Neighbours)
  

Co-executive producer Richard Cowles said this year's series would be "a lot tougher" than previous series.

"We have some of the biggest, scariest and, in one or two cases, most ridiculous trials ever waiting to greet this year's cast."

No Cannon & Ball, hoo-feckin-ray!

loadsa money?

Disputes Over 'I'm A Celebrity' Pay

Ex-Atomic Kitten Jenny Frost will pocket �100,000 for appearing in the new 'I'm A Celebrity' series - causing fury among fellow contestants who will receive far less.

According to the Sunday Mirror, Food & Drink presenter Jilly Goolden, former Blue singer Anthony Costa and comedy duo Cannon and Ball were only offered �25,000 to appear.

The figure offered to Frost is the same amount that Jordan was paid for the third series in January 2004.

Everyday I love you less and less

LOUIS WALSH what the hell is wrong with you? You idiot freak man. You let Maria go? She was the best one in the programme you horrible weaselly little smirky git.

The poor Conway Sisters got booed from the audience on itv2, it wasn't their fault!

So next week we have the pleasure of more Chico. Great. Can the odd people paying good money to keep him in have their phones took off them please?

Good


Bad

It's Chico Time

"I will be your hero baby"?
Not if I see you coming first.
Crikey.
He was bloody awful. He better go this week or else!!
Incidentally the Holy Moly newsletter reckons he's VERY well endowed.
It takes more than a huge cock to impress me Chico.
(well that MAY be a lie)

(ps Nicholas is flat. I think he's a gonner soon, he believes he can fly? but he can't bloody sing)

edit: unfeckingbelievable
Maria is out.
That gorgeous talented singer. And they keep Chico the Chimp, Flat Nicholas and the (rather poor Nolans) Conways?
The Voting public are all retards and always have been. Look at past winners? Steve Brocklepisspot and Michelle MacVanus.
Did anyone buy their records after they won? No!
These cretins that voted for Chico? Are they going to buy his CD's? They probably still have tape decks. No, record decks... or errr 'what's a record anyways'? Idiots.
What a crap show.
TBH Maria is better off out of there, snap up some recording contract and made a niche for herself.
I thought it was all about talent. It was when Will Young won.
Now it's about quirks.
Well this week was total crap.. I guess I will have to watch next week to impart my words of wisdom to you all.

This weeks words are.... Fecking Crap
xxx

IAC - line up revealed!

According to the MEN this year's slebs are:

• Jenny Frost (ex-Atomic Kitten)
  


• Sheree Murphy (Tricia Dingle off Emerdale)
  


• Sara Cox (professional ladette)
  


• Cannon & Ball (rock off tommy)
  


• Sid Owen (Rick-AYYYY Butcher off Eastenders)
  


• Elaine Lorden (Lynn Slater-Hobbs off Eastenders)
  


• David Dickenson (Lovejoy's Dad)
  


• Jimmy Osmond! OMG! my little sis so loved him
  


• Jilly Goolden (I'm getting gooseberries ... burning tyres ... kangaroo droppings ...)
  


• Carol Thatcher (daughter of the only person whose funeral I will dance at, insert "i hope her brother's not doing the navigating" gag here)
  

Bring. It. On!

who?

Andy Goldstein to host Celebrity's 'Jungle Drums'

*googles*

Oh, him. Bah.

Ex-butler braving second jungle stint

FORMER Royal butler Paul Burrell is to brave the wilds of the jungle for a second time.

The 47-year-old will star in an ITV2 spin-off of the programme, in which he will test out some of the gruesome tasks in line for the latest batch of celebrities.

Oh goody.

where did I put my credit card?

cos I need to buy a 3G phone NOW!

'Celebrity' to stream on web, mobiles
Live coverage of I'm A Celebrity will stream via the web and to mobile phones for the first time, ITV has announced.

The network is planning to launch a live stream of the jungle action at the show's official website on itv.com. Viewers will be able to access the stream for free.

Meanwhile, users of 3G mobile phones will be able to access streamed footage 24/7. The service, which also includes exclusive mobile content, will be available to 3 and Vodafone customers from November 21.

whay-hay for FREE LIVE STREAMING. YAAAY

Ex Factor!

OK I'm hooked on X Factor but it's like a moth to the flame. It's compulsive viewing for all the wrong reasons. I don't like any of them.. However some of them can sing and have fairly acceptable personalities.
This week was a bit rubbish though. Simon Cowell is so obviously bored to tears with his groups. Journey South aren't anything special. A couple of guys with a guitar
and a gruff voice, 2 a penny on the London Tubes.
The Conways are lovely, pretty, weird teeth, the Nolans with trendy clothes. Nice!
Nice vs X Factor... nah.
Louis Walsh. The biggest prat on TV. I'd love to see him on IACGMOOH. I want the bugs to eat HIM.
He picked such dreadful songs this week for his group. Unbelievably crap songs. Songs that lost the Votes for Nicholas and Shenai. He is a tosser. How ever did he get to the top spot?
Ok so he has Shayne... I take all back I said about Shayne. He has been built up so far that he is now up his own ass.
Simon says.. that wasn't great Shayne, so Shayne gives him a load of crap back. FFS it wasn't great. He's been crap for 2 weeks. Get him off.
Nicholas... Dull as dishwater.
And Sharon... She's a stupid bitch. She's Kelly Osbournes mother For God's sake....
And her group.
Brenda. A fantastic singer... But lacking in any humility. Unlikeable.
Andy.. I like him but he's hardly going to light up the charts. One for me mum I think.I did cry when he sang unforgettable as we played that at my Nan's funeral this year.

Maria? Has to be my winner, beautiful, grateful and magical... Maybe a better Mariah Carey? Hmmm.
Then we have..........
Chico....
FFS are the voting public really kidding. This weeks voting smacked of voters apathy rather than fevered votes. I hate this rather ugly wizened little man with the talent of a battery operated monkey with cymbals.

Corrie's Martin off to the jungle

Maybe...

Other potential contestants include '70s comedy duo Cannon and Ball, A-Team hardman Mr T, Margaret Thatcher's daughter Carol, former EastEnders star Elaine Lordan, Jude Law's former nanny and lover Daisy Wright, and Corrie on and off screen lovers Nikki Sanderson and Danny Young.

Backstreet Boy Nick Carter is also said to be considering taking part, and has reportedly told his pals that he can't wait to hook up with the sexy former Atomic Kitten Jenny Frost. One friend told the Daily Star: 'Jenny really caught his eye. But he'll have to get past (her fiance) Dominic first!

Why not just put all the cast of Corrie in and let them fight it out.

I'm A Celeb to return November 20

News just in from Digital Spy.

Matt Brown is doing ITV2 with Tara that is fine. I approve. I've seen him do ITV 2 spinoffs before. Actually he is just about King of the spinoffs as you can see here. God I loved The Club. I will miss The Durdo though, hopefully he will be back if Hells Kitchen ever reappears. I am looking forward to Tara being completely and utterly mad though. I hope they bin the useless phone in competitions but I doubt it.

The new series of I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here! will begin on Sunday, November 20, Digital Spy can confirm.

Once again, Ant & Dec reprise joint hosting duties of the main ITV1 show but new father Mark Durden-Smith has been replaced by Matt Brown for the ITV2 spinoff I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here Now! Tara Palmer-Tomkinson will continue to co-present.

As previously reported, a second spinoff - fanzine show Jungle Drums - will air weeknights at 6pm on ITV2. Live streaming will continue overnight on ITV2 but will be stripped of a repeat window during the daytime hours.

Noooo I like the repeat how rubbish.

Dermot 'I'd sleep with BB Nadia'

From da Sun

When asked which Big Brother contestant he would sleep with, Dermot told Now magazine: "I'd sleep with Nadia just for the hell of it."

He also revealed he would like to marry stunning BB5 star Shell Jubin and kill BB3 housemate Lee Davey.

He added: "I'd kill Lee - he took himself far too seriously."

Poor Nadia not good enough for marriage. What's all this sleeping and killing I thought he was a good catholic boy.

curse of BigBro strikes Lesley

From Huddersfield Daily Examiner

She's left her family, is drinking heavily and living in a `squalid' flat. Now Big Brother girl's parents say:`We fear Lesley will be found in a ditch'.

Is this a job for Little Ant & Little Dec?

IAC...'s little brother coming soon, says Digital Spy

A new daily fanzine show will accompany the next series of I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here!.

Jungle Drums, similar to Big Brother spinoff Big Mouth, will air on ITV2 every weekday at 6pm when the fifth series begins later this month.

Opinionated jungle followers aged 15+ are wanted to appear in the audience of the show. To apply, e-mail your contact details - including a photo if possible - to jungledrums@itv.com.

'bigger, better, harder, harsher'

Digispy says Lynne Slater is going into the jungle, and that this year's IAC

Another source added, "This is not going to be a holiday camp. The theme bosses are working around is 'bigger, better, harder, harsher'. They are keen to hit the celebrities with the worst challenges they can come up with. Viewers can expect to see the stars squirm and really suffer for their supper."

Saturdayyyyy

Noooooooo the lovely Darren is out of Strictly Come Dancing I'm hoping one of the other male professionals breaks a leg and he can come back in. Even Gloria Hunniford having a good luck video message from best friend Cliff Richard couldn't get her any votes. Fiona Phillips was the worst through she made me howl. Colin Jackson is on jury service! Isn't there a box you can tick saying you're on the tv and can't do it!

Phillip is out of the X Factor which was pleasing as he can not sing. I'm bored of ShaYne and Andy it is all about Maria now. I still don't understand why Sharon called her a virgin bride last week that was odd, not as odd as Sharon's 'I have something warm and smells good for ShaYne' speech this week (we waited for an innocent punchline but none came). She gets odder by the week. Brenda good as well. I liked her suit.

aww, reality tv nepotistism nostalgia

Terry from the Salon doesn't like the finalists on Aunty Shaz's show:

"Chico? Don't make me laugh," he told The People. "The only talent he has is his six-pack and rippling muscles. .... "Whoever triumphs will just be next year's Steve Brookstein - and look where he is now. The last I heard he was touring Butlins holiday camps."

I gave myself RSI emailing C4 and still never got a Salon appointment.

I'm a sleb trauma

Mark Durden-Smith isn't doing I'm a celebrity ITV2 this year! Some pathetic excuse of not wanting to leave his heavily pregnant wife.

I like the Durdo muchly I will miss him.

Worse news

There is a race on to find a replacement - someone who can cope with co-hosting with Tara Palmer Tomkinson! Patrick Kielty, Paul Danan and comedian Justin Lee Collins are among those being considered for the job.

I like Justin Lee Collins he did one of these show before and was good. But the others!

The x factor is bad for my health

It can't be healthy to watch a programme and want to hurt the judges can it? I wanted 4tune to stay in. I wanted Phillip out as every x factor I just sit there thinking the big question who is cuter ShaYne or Phillip? and I really should be concentrating on the songs. I thought Nicholas was the best this week. Andy's song was rubbish, Simon was right. I hate Louis Walsh. Really. Hate. I was dumbstruck that Simon didn't know 4tunes names! I know he is probably spending all week doing American Idol but he could of learnt them umm on the plane at least!

Strictly come dancing was ace. We have a problem with Darren though. The problem is Gloria is rubbish and the lovely Darren could be out soon. But COLIN TO WIN I have always liked him now I like him MORE.

lovely 1



and lovely 2



Other people I am liking on it

Darren Gough - amusing big bloke dancing
Bill Turnbull - amusing quite good dancing

People I am not liking

Brendan Cole - bad man always, in the tabloids again I see today
Fiona Phillips - eww no like, pleasingly rubbish dancer

Colin is going to win anyway.

tisha out, carol in?

The Observer it says:

"Pendennis learns that the makers of ITV's I'm a Celebrity - Get Me Out of Here are struggling to find suitable contestants for the next series. They begged Queen of Daytime TV Trisha to appear, but to no avail. Is this conclusive proof that reality TV's days are numbered?"

Meanwhile, other sources say Ian Wright and Carol Thatcher are rumoured to be going into the jungle.

When does it start? I need to know!

Reality Trash

X Factor.... 4 -tune kicked out over Chico?
Now I didn't like 4Tune. I don't think the world needs another boy band TBH. I think that the era of the boy band is nigh. Even the boy bands think so...
But Chico is a talentless, ugly little stripper. His stage persona is his only talent.
Now there's the danger in allowing the great British public to pick the winners. For some rather odd reason they go for the trash. Michelle Macmanus, Steve Brocklepot, David Sneddon.
Then, they forget them immediately they vote for them... They don't buy the records.
So these poor people who think they have it made, are really a laughing stock.
If you really want to pick out some talent, you need to vote for someone like Journey South.
WTF am I going on about anyways?... Anyone with one iota of talent and self esteem would never use this programme as a lever to stardom anyways.
These people will NEVER achieve credibility.
Will Young, being the first has tentively made it big... For other reasons than the show though and Girls Aloud are pretty good. But also they have worked damned hard post reality TV and forged a place for themselves.
But the rest?
Forgotten already.

x factor and trin

Ooooh I am just lovin' X factors Shayne Ward . I turned over and I thought Daniel Bedingfield was singing... wow and he's hot.
I need a psychiatrist. I'm liking an X Factor contestant.. someone quick help me.

Strictly Factor

The X Factor final 12 was right. Boo. No Trevor and no Ritchie. Though Trev did get to be on Granada Tonight so that's exciting... Anyway Strictly Come Dancing starts tomorrow... My fave. Lots of people celebs in it, some I have never heard of like Holby/Casualty types.

channel 5: never say never

"I'm not going to do another reality show," Man-from-Five told a Broadcasting Press Guild lunch today.

But but but but but we want the Mole! I do, anyway. I loved that show. One of the greatest reality tv shows of all time, several hundred times better than Survivor. Bring it back oh please oh please oh please.

Oh yeah and he's not doing the Farm again, either.

Mind you, that's what they said about Sunset Beach ....

cheap as witchety grubs

DS says the Daily Star says (so it must be true innit): Lovejoy's Dad to go into the jungle.

can't wait!

'I'm A Celeb' sleb news/rumours: next series to include Dennis Rodman: basketball player, bad hair, likes to wear ladies' things, won Yucatan Celebrity Mole. What more could you want?


Mr Rodman .................................... Ladies

Also rumoured to be going into the jungle (new location) are George Hamilton, Magenta De Vine, Sunita from Corrie and Ron "Clapham Common" Davies. Still no Frank, tho.

Final 12 X Factor maybe????

According to a post on digi spy

Shane Ward
Nicholas Dorsett
Chenai Zinuku
Philip Magee

Maria Lawson
Andy Abraham
Brenda Edwards
Chico Slimani

Journey South
Conway Sisters
Addictive Ladies
4tune

Wot no Trevor? We gotta have Trevor. He's young, normal looking and has quite a good voice, perfect for the rubbish old fantastic X Factor. I have already decided after hearing him sing one ok line to support this years Tabby (even though I didn't like last years) Andy Ritchie (I think that's what he's called anyway).

We will see later the real exciting final 12 woo etc.

Strictly Come Dancing

Can not blinking wait. Gloria better be good as she has Darren Bennett and I will cry if he goes out early. There are some new dancers this year but Darren, Lilia, Brendan and Anton are all back. I am more interested in them than the celebs now. I'm glad Camilla is back, hopefully to beat Brendan who was her partner (in all ways) until the evil Natasha Kaplinsky danced with him (in all ways) in series one.

you're hired

Apprentice USA Finale tonight. No way can Barbie-Girl Jen win. How the feck did she even get into the final? Ivana Was Robbed!

edit: she didn't win. Hah.

tsk

Just when I have an expanse of spare time, I have no reality tv show to watch. Bah. When does IAC ... start, anyway?

The full horror

Of why everyone in the X Factor has already been on ITV nine million times before.

Joanne from Bolton won a sing with Westlife comp involving Louis and Simon

Haifa was on Pop Idol 1

Andy the dustman was on This Is My Moment (with Mel B presenting apparently)

Shane was on Popstars: The Rivals

4Tune were on last year

Trevor was on Search for a Star (Is that Jane McDonald's old programme?)

Chenai was on last year

Plus the The Conway Sisters toured with Westlife and sang at a Westlife wedding...

Congratulations Nina

Senior holiday rep don't you know. That's what she was fake offered at the end of 'Trust me I'm a holiday rep' Do they allow reps of Nina and Sid Littles age as all the proper ones in the programme were slightly younger than them... Sid was offered a rep job that they seem to have made up for him involving no paperwork and Jordan Knight got 'fake in charge of kiddies' rep, seemingly based of his ability to dance to Justin Timberlake and only once kicking a child by mistake whilst dancing to Justin Timberlake. The others got you're fired of different degrees (as in if only you hadn't lap danced the customers/smoked all day you would have been fake hired).

Nancy does Ann

Nancy to Ann Summers

Wow Nancy Sorrell does Ann Summers. she never looked like that on IACGMOOH.

Wrong presenter axed shocker

Kelly Brook is being axed as a presenter of Celebrity Love Island.

Wooden? Yes she is but at least she's not Patrick Kielty, who is unforgivable for being a complete idiot to that American model/actress/whatever last series because she didn't know who he was! Imagine not knowing who he was...

Jaded Jasmine

Jasmine Lennard (who) the pampered princess of Holiday Rep , really drove me nuts tonight with her whining and miserable face.
And her assumption that EVERYONE should know who she is? I'd never heard of her.
I'm loving Scott, who is a truly Holiday Rep guy to me. Jordan seems a bit wooden. Jodie Marsh is too common for me but she's trying and is fun. Syd is too old but bless he can party with the best of them. He really can't sell anything. Nina, too old but eloquent and tries hard and is soooo down to earth, she HATES Jasmine.
This is far better than Celeb love island.. Far better.

trust me I am super model

having watched the first show by accident (honestly!) I am now addicted to Trust Me I'm a Holiday Rep. It is however deeply disturbing. Not because of Jasmine (who is such a complete cartoon Naomi-wannabe it's hilarious "don't you know who I am?!?!?") but because of a lingering fear that Little & Large may somehow manage to salvage their career off the back of Syd reprising his Butlins days. :shudder: ¹

Meanwhile over on t'Apprentice USA, Ivana got fired. Boo, she was my fave. I don't understand why the blonde woman was so down on her dropping her skirt when the Barbie dolls made their entire profit from selling their bimbo asses. Bah.


1. Oh. It seems I made an almost identical post a couple of days ago, of which I inexplicably have no recollection. Curse those aliens and their probes.

Reality tv shows I am currently watching

The apprentice

My big fat obnoxious boss (absolutely hilarious but possibly only to me)

Trust me I'm a holiday rep (I'm sure I've seen one of the reps on something else)

X factor

X factor extra (Stuart from Big Brothers sister OH DEAR this years G4 all by herself)

Lost (it is real innit)?

Reality show cross over once again

Nadia set to return as a holiday rep
Next week, Jasmine the pampered pointless prima pouch, leaves Holiday Rep (feign surprise) and is replaced by BB5's Nadia.
Apparently Nadia has had a couple of spells in Rehab. Deary deary, the 'stress' of being a minor celeb!

Trust me......

OMG Clarrie is hooked on Trust me I'm a Holiday Rep too.
I love it.
Jasmine is a spoilt vile self absorbed cow and her outburst with those guests was apalling.

Anyways a line up for you

Jordan Knight (35) was the pin up for teenagers worldwide as lead vocalist for boy band New Kids On The Block. When the band split in 1994, Jordan went on to enjoy as successful solo career and is about to launch a new single and album in August 2005.

The recruits will exchange their showbiz lifestyles for long arduous days ensuring holiday makers have a trouble free and idyllic break. From meeting and greeting at the airport to arranging excursions and evening bar crawls, the six will have their work cut out and their glamorous designer clothes will quickly be exchanged for regulation uniforms.

Jasmine Lennard (19) shot to fame on Five’s Make Me A Supermodel. With a reputation for her outspoken and argumentative approach, she cites Paris Hilton and Victoria Beckham as her role models and aspires to become a TV presenter.
(vile self absorbed bitch... fun to watch)

Syd Little (62) has for forty years been one half of Britain’s best loved comedy institutions, Little and Large.
(wow I didn't recognise him)

Jodie Marsh (26) has made her career from outrageous photo shoots, tabloid kiss and tell exploits and public rivalry with Jordan. She cites Kenzie, Fran Cosgrove and Callum Best as her most recent sexual conquests and likens herself to “the human Viagra”.
(cheap tart)


Nina Myskow (59) has a broadcast and journalistic career spanning forty years. Editor of Jackie magazine, she was Pop writer on The Sun before her stint as an acerbic tabloid TV critic led to three series as judge on New Faces. She starred on GMTV and The Wright Stuff, as well as Radio Two, Radio 5 Live and LBC.
(hmmm doesn't like kids, kinda posh)

Scott Wright (30) is best known for his two-year role as Sam Kingston in Coronation Street. He proudly won the title of ‘Rear Of The Year’ alongside Charlotte Church in 2002. Scott’s looking for a “top laugh, nice people to work with and another string to my bow if the acting doesn’t work out.”
(seems ok so far.. game for a laugh)

Jordan Knight (35) was the pin up for teenagers worldwide as lead vocalist for boy band New Kids On The Block. When the band split in 1994, Jordan went on to enjoy as successful solo career and is about to launch a new single and album in August 2005.
(cute looking)

I could be tempted ...

Oh dear sweet baby [insert diety of choice] ... Trust Me - I’m A Holiday Rep. A show that may possibly re-start the career of Syd Little should surely have been strangled at birth. Then again, it's worth if for Jasmine "don't you know who I am" Lennard.

Yes I admit it, I'm addicted. Hah.

Craig to quit Cromer

Craig to quit Cromer:
Craigs going to leave Cromer... gasp!

Visions of Dick Whittington appear with Craig looking for the gold lined pavements of our Capital.

"But he does hold out hopes of staying friends with two former contestants.

'Me, Saskia and Maxwell are toying with the idea of living together in London,' explained Craig."