Just Jackie

A picture tribute

Educating Kenzie

Brigitte is impressing Kenzie with her Flavor Flav tales aww. He is SO impressed (not sure he knew who she was on about until she mentioned Public Enemy though). It's a love in at the moment (silent John is in bed).

it's worse than we thought

The Sun was right for once. Jackie (mother of Sly) Stallone, the new Queen Mother of Big Brother arrives. We are scared. She makes the trout pout look posititively flattering.




I think awfulplasticsurgery.com is my new favourite website.

Silly Lisa

Lisa has never heard of interactive big brother on E4! She said it doesn't go out live 24 hours a day as other shows are on! Jeremy told her about the magic red button that you press to see it at anytime. HA. They are locked in the bedroom.

Jousting tournament

On little bikes! The winner will get an individual prize. Kenzie and Brigitte are jousting against each other haha. It's very competitive. Queen Lisa says who wins, the final was between Bez and Kenzie the small child was declared the winner but Bez was whining so they did it again. Bez finally wins through dubious circumstances. Bez's prize is not having to take part in the task anymore or something. Great.

Stop or we'll shoot his mom

The Sun sez it could be Sly's psychic Mom. Please not.

John's protest

it's getting really rather dull now. While you do have to admire him for keeping up his Vow of Silence, it seems a fairly major over reaction to being deprived of diet coke. He was getting a kind of perverse popularity for his half witted outbursts, people wanted to keep him in cos he was interesting. Perhaps he was really serious about wanting to be voted out first (I never actually believe anyone who says that) and having realised he was in danger of becoming a Lovable Old Curmugeon (cf Michael Winner), has taken a different tack. He won't get paid if he walks before the end of the first week, apparently, so maybe this is his way of getting voted out quickly.

Of course it could all be a ruse, and they'll be sending Booby in tonight to cheer him up.

Monday papers

not much in the papers today ...

Game show Greer splits the sisterhood (Times) Carole Caplin on why she's better than GG. No I'm not sniggering. Well not much.

McCririck finds going heavy under Greer-group pressure (Times)

Big Brother springs surprise contestant on housemates (Brand Republic)

Possible candidates [for new HM] include US rapper Flavor Flav, who was recently seen cavorting with Brigitte Nielsen on VH1 reality show 'The Surreal Life' or Caprice's former lover, one-time Arsenal footballer Tony Adams.

The new contestant could also be a virtual unknown because Kenzie, Lisa l'Anson, Bez, Germaine Greer and John McCririck's love lives have not made the celebrity gossip pages.

Nielsens' exes, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Jeremy Edwards' former girlfriend, popstar Rachel Stevens, are believed unlikely to appear.

oh yes cos all Germaine's exes are virtual unknowns innit. I mean, who ever heard of George Best, Warren Beaty or Martin Amis. Note to Journos: people did have sex with slebs before the invention of Heat magazine.

Scared

Germaine just said disequilibrating. Which is a big word.

Teenage brat alert

I did not like that Kenzie swearing at John in middle of the night ugh and the stupid posing, ick. I want him out. Yes John is an arse but so is Kenzie it would seem after a shandy or two. Poor Germaine, it is not fair to put people age 60 plus on roundabouts and spin them fast or make them spin them like John had to. I like the way Germaine put them in order of attractiveness very quickly with no argument ha.

Live exciting royal update

Jeremy is in the shower and John is snoring. Lisa's crown is heavy. Germaine has squirted tomato seeds over the royal bench. The 'boys' will be dancing later eep.

father & son?

Germaine's exes include George Best [1] and Caprice used to go out with Calum Best. Just a thought ...



[1] also Martin Amis, Julian Barnes, Jonathan Aitken, Warren Beatty & John Peel - handy list here

On the offish site

It does say here

One Housemate can expect a blast from their past to be arriving at the Royal Court real soon...

so that sounds promising. I really want it be an ex, otherwise it's just copying 'back to reality' and 'I'm a celeb'...

I'll start with Caprice

Whose ex (and I am hoping it is an ex) will it be?

Handy list of Caprice's ex boyfriends here.

Tony Adams - possible

WE were together for six months. But the relationship became so public it killed us. There were too many pressures.

David Spade - some American actor I don't know

OH my God! I didn't even call David to tell him I'd broken up with him. That's how bad I was.

Christian Burn - umm who is he? Sounds a right charmer. Oh he is 'BBMak pop star Christian Burns' apparently. I hope it's him.

"He broke up with me when he found out that my single went in at Number 24. Clearly it wasn't true love. I still think he's an OK guy."

will it be Sly, Rachel or Molly?

could the new HM be Jeremy's dog? Aww go on, it could be Paddy all over again awwwww

oh no it's true

It's on C4 site now.

On Monday night a brand new arrival will be entering the House, but of course there has to be a twist. The new recruit will be in, or have previously had a relationship with one of the current Housemates.

Bad idea. Bad bad bad.

I will of course be glued to my telly on Monday night. But it's still a bad idea.

9th Housemate rumours continue

well they do at DigiSpy, anyways.

A new celebrity will enter the house in a special live show tomorrow (Monday) night, it has been announced.

Confirming previous speculation, the new housemate is either the partner of, or has had a past relationship with, one of the existing housemates. It appears that none of the group are aware of the impending arrival, however, as the news will be "a huge surprise" to them.

It also appears that the housemate will be joining the group for the duration; Channel 4 refers to the newcomer as "the ninth celebrity."

Oh I do hope it's not true.

More BBLB hate

Members of the so solid crew are not good guests and Mark 'editor of heat' Frith is boring especially when he agrees that readers of heat won't know much about Germaine. Yes that's right we are all idiots. Tomorrow's show looks much better as Justin Lee Collins is on.

BBLB props

Oh how hilarious, to include a 'dog' sticker amongst those given to the So Solids as part of their 'spotting' duties on BBLB. Feckin smug production gets, obviously think they are so kewl and witty for despising the HMs, esp the female ones. Not for the first time, either. Look, darlings, these people are bringing in the £ that keeps you in bolli-stolli-charlie so Shut Up.

Sunday Papers

• Gruaniad/Observer still CBB-crazy - at least 4 different stories, including a full page spread
  Big Sister gears up for knockout blow
  McCririck to the rescue in horror show
  Her indoors
  Tattenham Corner - Mac can still pick 'em
  
  
• Sunday Mirror
  CAP'S FIT - Model teases BB men in sexy work-out
  BRIGITTE GOES TOPLESS
  
  
• Sunday People
  CAPRICE BUST UP WITH LOVER OVER PRINCE SUPERMODEL Caprice has revealed how secretly dating Prince Andrew led to her breaking up with the love of her life.
  ODD OFF! - Bogeyman John gets right up girls' noses
  
  
• News of Screws
  Rants in his pants
  
  
• Sunday Mail
  BOOBY PRIZE - He's always like that, says McCririck's wife
  I'D JUMP IN THE JACUZZI WITH TOPLESS BRIGITTE By Frank Mcavennie Our BB Correspondent
  
  
• Independent
  Big Sisters vs Big Brother: feminists subject Germaine to trial by television
  Germaine can pick up where I left off sez Janet SP but you have to pay £ to read whatever it is she says
  
  
• Times
  Germaine Greer: Big Sister takes up an exposed position
  

not news but some people are interested in this kind of thing, apparantly
Jeremy Edwards Shirtless Picture Gallery

Jeremy watch

Now don't say I never give you anything! Go over to fmforums for some Jezza screen caps.

Day 3 in the BB house Germaine is watching Jeremy in his see through underwear...

eeew

Assault course sounds mingin'.

(Good to see the Scotsman keeping up their most excellent BB coverage, BTW).

Meanwhile in betting news

Ladbrokes spokesman Warren Lush said: “Jeremy is setting the early pace though we have seen good support for Kenzie in recent hours. Lisa I’Anson is the rank outsider at 33/1.

As Ms J rightly observed Kenzie's fans are far and away more likely to txt vote loads of times. But they is too young to go to da bookies innit. Hey get me, I'm gettin down wif da yoof like me main man John wooo.

do these people not watch tv?

Not the Celeb HMs (tho you do have to wonder that so few of them seem to know anything about the house, and also that so called BB fan Jeremy was not behaving like any true BB fan on admittance to the house ie squealing "where's the door to the seekrit bedsit? omg is that the table they did it under?" etc). No, if this rumour is true, you have to wonder if the producers are far to busy taking recreational drucks to watch any other shows in their genre. Because if they had, they would surely know that the introduction of a seekrit new contestant and omg it's the partner of one of the existing ones has been done before (less than 2 months ago) and was a complete failure. So it'd better not be true. Hmph.

how long will they keep it up?

Due to the Germaine Effect, the Gruaniad has gone Celeb BB crazy. The whole of page 3 was taken up with Big Bro stuff today. I expect the other 'serious' papers did likewise.

Assault course time

The housemates have a task, it is to collect their shopping from an assault course. There are 10 obstacles and they have to collect a minimum of one item of the shopping from each of them.

A flick thru the papers

It is quite predictable that Jeremy 'Jez Jezzer' Edwards is the favourite to win as it says in the mirror today. Oh well, at least he was able to tell small child Kenzie who Germaine is. I think the small child Kenzie will win, those blazin squad fans all have about 5 mobiles topped up in preparation I would think.

What Jeremy is famous for


The sun say Brigitte wants Jez.

Outrageous 6ft 1in Brigitte told hunky actor Jeremy: “You are very handsome, just my type. I love men like you.”

Jeremy — once engaged to pop babe Rachel Stevens — earlier said of actress and model Brigitte: “I am a bit scared of her.”

They also have nice pic of John with his man boobs out and say that Jeremy has one set of clothes after losing the others in the task.

Oh yes, last nights programme did John call Jeremy a bit Julian and Sandy!

oh and another thing

Do no lose the little red straw. It's a bugger if you do.

deeply irritating

will Big Brother please call one of the HMs to the diary room, arm them with a big can of lube and get them go go and oil all those bastard squeaking doors.

And in the mean time, tell Bez to STOP KICKING THAT FECKIN DOOR OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

Thank you.

Richard and Judy

Whoever thought it was a good idea to hire Emma from BB5 for R&J was very wrong.

'Germaine (except she didn't know her name) is just like Kitten' said a few times as it was so clever ahem.

Also about Germaine 'Is she a muff?' said twice to bemusement all round. She meant 'milf' it turned out, as she helpfully started to explain 'mother I'd like to...' Judy Finnegan then shut her up.

Charity and greedy buggers update

Says in paper Brigitte's charity is a Brazilian street kids one.

Plus I have just been to channel 4 and live t'internet streaming is £4.95 a month even though BB is only on for 18 days grr. The rest of the days you can watch wife swap and stuff...and you can buy special clips to watch for 50p a time!!!!

50p!!!!

first task

Big Brother has given the celebs their first task. They'll be called into the Diary Room to answer questions about one of the other housemates. They'll have to forfeit an item of clothing for each question they get wrong. I think that it's an item of clothing from out of their suitcase, rather than being a strip-poker kind of vibe. But with Brigitte around, who knows.

Fed's Forts

Federico pontificates on the sleb housemates. Be amused by his sparkling wit. Or at least have a schadenfreude moment at him calling others 'nonentities'.

What Kenzie has run away from

Don't worry Kenzie you are safe from them all now.

blazin' squad r tonk!, dey r fit n sexy howeva don't lik must b mad. i fink kenzie n strider r buff alwayz n 4eva xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
lizzie, feltham

Da Squad r heavi!!..Da album is weighty..Its got really gud song onit..wid heavi beats..n all da ppl da disagree r jus h8erz ur jealous..u aint got wa da squad have got!! Nuff said hold it x
Laydee M, Manchesta

Jeremy the early favourite

from readaBet.com

Jeremy Edwards 2/1
Bez 4/1
Kenzie 6/1
Germaine Greer 7/1
Brigitte Nielsen 12/1
Caprice 14/1
John McCririck 16/1
Lisa I'Anson 25/1
Any Other 10/1
Someone to walk 3/1

"Jeremy seems to be popular with punters as well as the ladies. In terms of temperament he seems to have the Joe Pasquale charm but couple this with his looks and he would seem almost unbeatable", said Hill's spokesman Rupert Adams.

John is favourite for the first eviction (Lisa 2nd fave for eviction) and Bez the fave to walk.

actually

Da fans on da Offishul (not updated for months) Blazin Squad website message boards all seem to think Kenzie's birthday was yesterday (6th) as do the fine people at Blazin' Squad R Propa Fit.

Day one from the papers

Over at the sun John McCririck has offended Caprice by saying she's good looking and has had an easy life. Oh dear god wish someone would offend me like that.

Jim Shelley in the mirror says it should be celebrity job club as only one of them is in full time work. They obviously don't think Germaine has a proper job.

Mad mirror shouty writing

NAME: Bez AGE: Ageless in a Dorian Gray kind of way AKA: Happy Mondays 'dancer'/dealer NICKNAME: Nutter ON SHOW BECAUSE: Adds a bit of (faded) street cred/mad (fer it) BONKERS FACTOR: 8 LOOK OUT FOR: Drugs intake ODDS ON WINNING: 8-1 SHELLEY'S VERDICT: Potentially legendary, anarchic

The guardian lead with Germaine of course.

Wearing a demure grey woollen ankle-length dress and peering out of her glasses like a headmistress, she spent her first moments in the house assessing her fellow housemates.

Producers hope that she will have a similar presence on the show as journalist Janet Street-Porter in the recent I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here! injecting an element of quirkiness.

Dr Greer, who said she agreed to take part to raise money for her rain forest, has previously described watching Big Brother as being "as dignified as looking through the keyhole in your teenage child's bedroom door".

Controversial

Says on the bbc site that James 'Kenzie' Mackenzie's birthday is on Monday not yesterday ooh!

Amusing

Bet you didn’t know: People think that he modelled himself on Gareth Gates and it makes him MAD! He’s a complete chatterbox and started MC-ing when he was 13

I gotta bike fer me birfday

The Blazin Squad. In case any of you (not so hip) guys out there didn't know who 'Kenzie' was.

BB's B

Brigitte 'Ballbreaker' Nielsen, enters the BB house. Notice how Davina got her name pronounciation wrong. Hmph. Little kenzie better be scared.

My turn!

John 'bitty' McCririck - Will moan about missing Newcastle play very soon.

Germaine Greer - umm did she say something about anal sex in her intro?

Mark 'Bez' Berry - my sister wants him to win nuff said.

Caprice - wonder(bra)woman I saw a bbc3 docu about her few years ago seems ok.

Lisa I'Anson - sacked from radio one years ago after going awol in Ibiza. We will laugh at her and she will never live down her intro.

Jeremy 'Rachel Stevens ex' Edwards - oh my, I recognised his dog from heat magazine as soon as it came on camera. The shame.

Kenzie - he's 12 or something (ok 19 today). Run away small child there are scary ladies about.

Brigitte Nielsen - eep.

WWDS?

(What will Dermot say)?

well, well, well

First impressions

• Davvy - Sherlock Holmes is so not a good look
  
  
• John McCririck - oh dear oh dear oh dear. Can't even get the Panto Villain routine right (mind you if he could, he'd probably be in Panto right now instead of on BB). I have no wish to know anymore about his penchant for intermammary frottage nor about his wife Booby. T.M.I.
  
  
• Germaine Greer - speechless
  
  
• Caprice - oh
  
  
• Bez - madfrit sorted madchester etc etc. My (Manc born and bred) son is on hand to offer translations for non-Mancs. Hello, Rowetta, will we be seeing you later on BBLB?
  
  
• Lisa I'anson - blimey, one they kept quiet. I expect Germaine will be bitterly jealous of both her intellect and her sexual hold over men.
  
  
• Jeremy Edwards - who? practical joker yawn
  
  
• Kenzie - yeah whatever
  
  
• Brigitte Nielsen - she is what most of the others imagine they are, ie genuinely mad, unpredictable and really quite frightening. I wonder if her and Germaine will have a cat fight over Kenzie's affections, or will they share him and Jon between them in the sauna? Hope Brigitte packed birch twigs as her luxury.
  

It's gonna be a great 18 days.

summer holiday?

If you haven't booked your hols yet and fancy a few weeks in a tv studio instead, Big Brother 6 auditions are starting soon. Details on C4 site. How low will you go to get on TV?

50p! update

Radio 1 News reports that half of the 50p cost of Celebrity Big Brother vote will go to charity. 16p per vote will be split equally among each celebrity housemates' nominated charity, the remaining profits (9p per vote) will go to the appeal to help victims of the Asia Tsunami disaster.

Or you could just give your 50 pees directly to the charity of your choice.

No good advice

My advice to the celebs bravely entering the big brother house tonight.

If you are boring then stay at home.

If you are American don't bang on about it.

Drink cider it is good for you.

Choose these two weeks to have a breakdown you won't regret it.

Live your life in the house like a Girls Aloud or Scissor Sisters song and you can do no wrong (hanging round the kitchen in your underwear or being a classy honey kissy huggy lovey dovey ghetto princess/acid junkie college flunky dirty puppy daddy bastard, ALWAYS GOOD.

Remember at all times your aim is to make the front of the tabloids.

Rumourville

I do like the night before a reality show when you don't know who exactly will be on it. It's like Xmas Eve woo hoo! Then when you see the actual people it is like Xmas Day night when you are stuffed and feel sick. Only joking, I'm sure they will be fabulous 'celebs'.

According to one of our fine tabloids the celebs don't want to be filmed in the showers, strange as they never have been in previous ones anyway. Also rumoured is the first 'task' a medieval themed banquet on Friday.

The house will be turned into a castle and the celebs will have to dress up in costumes with the girls wearing sexy bodices to drive the men wild.

One unlucky star will be placed in the stocks for the rest of the group to throw tomatoes at.

Ooh Germaine in her bodice and John McCririck in the stocks, can't wait.

50p!

It costs 50p to vote in celebrity big brother! So that's 25p for the celebs charity then 25p costs is it? I guess so. I know it will be 50p as it says so in an article about the fact that 9p per call will go to the tsunami disaster appeal. It also says some celebs have chosen that as their charity (don't hold me to charity gets 25p from a call I'm just guessing). Obviously no one round here will be voting...unless I get drunk of course. If you feel the urge to text like me you can also text (in the U.K) a £1.50 donation to the tsunami appeal by texting "donate" to 83321 and all of that goes to charity.

"a popular beat combo, m'lud" (part II)

Caprice
wonderbra model and lads' mags fave

Mark Bosnich
or "disgraced former Chelsea goal keeper Mark Bosnich" to give him his full title. Used to take drucks with go out with our Sophie

Brigitte Nielsen
Actress, ex-wife of Sly Stalone, gets nekkid at slightest provocation. Terrifying. [Insert 'Great Dane' joke here].

Getting Bored Now.
Antoine De Caunes = French bloke from Eurotrash
John McCririck = annoying twunt racing bloke on C4 (silly hats etc)
Germaine Greer = feminist, academic, Australian, Late Review regular, not going on the show really at least I hope not
Jason Orange = ex-Take That

Silly Clazza getting her Emma B's mixed up, if it's to appear on a trashy reality tv show then it will be model Emma B ex or current (one of those) of E17 Brian Harvey who fled the jungle innit?

Anyway my top secret sources say Caprice (yawn) is flying in. I swear it said that last time Celeb BB was on. Also former Libertines' frontman Pete Doherty. Now I wonder what he would need the cash for? Has anyone told him you have to survive on cider in the BB house?

"a popular beat combo, m'lud" (part I)

The High Court Judges' guide to the possible Celebrity Big Brother contenders ...

Chris Parker
'baby faced actor', sacked from playingSpencer Moon in EastEnders, was on Strictly Come Dancing - Chris Parker search @ Sky Showbiz News

Craig Charles
oh come on, even you know who Craig Charles is, surely? Red Dwarf, Robot Wars, BBC6 Funk Show. Maybe if he is on sleb BB, he'll get his website working again

Eddie Irvine
retired racing driver, Formula 1 'playboy' apparantly, his website's here

Bez
Happy Mondays' Bez. (people who live in a Heat-free world may wish to note the X-Factor connection).

Emma B
as mentioned before, I get me Emma B's all mixed up. Seems like it's probably the underwear model one who didn't go into the jungle.

Myleene Klass
was in Hear'Say, now a classical babe

Sam Fox
well dur. Glamour model, pop star and star of The Club.

Kenzie
member of popular beat combo Blazin' Squad

ok enuff for now, more later maybe

First betting news

from the lovely peeps at readaBet.com

Chris Parker 5/1
Craig Charles 5/1
Eddie Irvine 11/2
Bez 6/1
Emma B 8/1
Myleene Klass 8/1
Sam Fox 8/1
Kenzie 9/1

The New Year is barely a few days old, and already the first dose of realtiy television is about to start with the return of Celebrity Big Brother. As usual the producers are trying their hardest to keep the names of the contestants under wraps, although a few bookmakers have already begun publishing odds.

Some of the celebrities rumoured to be taking part are are Caprice, Chris Parker, Brigitte Nielsen, Craig Charles, Antoine De Caunes, Germaine Greer. Also expected to take his place in the line-up is former professional goalkeeper Mark Bosnich who was recently seen in The Match.

Of the above, it is the names of Chris Parker and Craig Charles that appear at the top of the early betting lists. Parker came second in the first series of Strictly Come Dancing.

There is even some talk of former Take That member Jason Orange looking to emulate the success Mark Owen had in the last series. The show begins on Thursday 6th January, and as usual readaBet.com will be keeping track of the betting movements.

yes, Bez (well maybe)

Brother, it's Bez

says so in Madchester News so must be true innit.

WITH the festivities barely over, the new year's first dose of reality TV is set to hit our screens with the return of Celebrity Big Brother and Manchester's very own superstar of the streets, Bez, will be hoping to win the nation's heart .

As usual producers are determined to keep the names of contestants secret until the show airs on January 6th, but some of the contestants rumoured to be taking part are Caprice, Brigitte Nielsen, Craig Charles, Antoine De Caunes, Germaine Greer and Bez.

Ex-Chelsea goalkeeper Mark Bosnich has been lined up to replace Frank McAvennie who was apparently dropped after discussing his likely appearance with the press, and even ex-BBC Director General Greg Dyke has been reported to be making an appearance.
...
Other celebrities rumoured to be involved with Celebrity Big Brother 3 include Kerry McFadden, Jo Brand and Jason Orange ...

Germaine Greer?!?!?! Janet S-P on IAC I can just about take but GG on Sleb BB ?!??!

Lee Chapman Says No

Female First reports that Mr Leslie Ash has decided against going into the BB house.

Chapman has jumped off out just days before the Celebrity Big Brother hits our screens on Thursday leaving the shows producers Endemol desperately short of big hitters for the show.

Lee Chapman 44 is married to actress Leslie Ash, and has according to the sun newspaper turned down £100,000 to appear on the reality program, with a freind telling the paper the money offers weren’t quite right and he had doubts about some housemates.
.....
Favorite to replace Victoria [Silvstedt - see below] is the ex-Hear’Say stunner Myleene Klass. The list so far is looking rather thin, and C4 have admitted that the withdrawals are turning into a nightmare and the producers are deserate to get a number of big names on board. At the moment the only one that appear to have confirmed are Brigitte Nielsen, John McCririck, Mark Bosnich, Kenzie from Blazin’ Squad and Bez from Happy Mondays.

Undecided: Carole Caplin, Faria Alam, Myleene Class, and Eddie Ervine.
No's: Holly Valance and David Ike refusingLee Chapman.

Looking more and more like No David Icke. Boo.

David Icke

Someone just emailed me to say the gossip in his office is that David Icke will not be on Sleb BB. I will be gutted if this is right. I was so looking forward to the goal keeping, lizard fighting, conspiracy theorist being on my tv.

hurrah!

another year, another reality tv show. My NY resolution to spend less time in front of tv/computer screens has been broked already. Celebrity Big Bro starts on Thursday woo hooooo!

Some 'who the slebs will/won't be' rumours ...

Model Victoria Silvstedt pulls out of Celebrity Big Brother
Swedish underwear model Victoria Silvstedt has pulled out of Channel 4's 'Celebrity Big Brother' three days before the show is due to start, as former Chelsea goal keeper Mark Bosnich and former Happy Monday dancer and maracas player Bez have been added to the line-up. .... They will be joined by 1980s actress and former wife of Sylvester Stallone, Brigette Nielsen, who has made a splash in the US reality television programme 'The Surreal Life'. Kiss-and-tell queen Alicia Douvall, who cites P Diddy, Simon Cowell and 'EastEnders' star Dean Gaffney among her conquests, and former Libertines' frontman Pete Doherty are also reported to star in the show -- although they have not yet been confirmed.

'EVIL' PLAN FOR LATEST CELEB BB
Celebrities in talks about appearing include "Son of God" David Icke, shamed footballer Mark Bosnich and racing pundit John McCririck. Models Caprice, Sam Fox and Victoria Silvstedt have also been approached, along with gay rights activist Peter Tatchell, Leslie Ash's husband Lee Chapman and Brigitte Nielsen. Channel 4 said: "If any fights break out, there will be people on the ground to deal with it." Cherie Blair's adviser Carole Caplin and Nancy Dell'Olio have declined to appear on the show.


FRANK: I GOT THE BIG HEAVE
SOCCER idol Frank McAvennie revealed his fears yesterday that producers have given him the boot from Celebrity Big Brother. The former Celtic and West Ham player, renowned for his love of 'the burdz', was hoping for a last minute reprieve after TV chiefs went cold on the idea of putting him into the house. But he fears he has been pipped to the post by eccentric racing pundit John McCririck and goalie-turned new age prophet David Icke. ...
SPECULATION has been rife about the final line-up, with 18 names linked with the show. They include: Red Dwarf star Craig Charles, Sylveste Stallone's ex-wife Brigitte Nielsen, left, former sports commentator and self-proclaimed 'Son of God' David Icke and Channel 4 racing pundit John McCririck. Others tipped to appear are ex-footballers Mark Bosnich and Lee Chapman; along with glamour girls Victoria Silvstedt, Sam Fox, Caprice, Michelle Marsh and Abi Titmuss. Others linked to the show include gay rights activist Peter Tatchell; Cherie Blair's lifestyle guru Carole Caplin; Hear'Say singer turned classical pianist Myleene Klass; shamed comic Michael Barrymore; mum Mandy Allwood who miscarried octuplets and Sven Goran Eriksson's lovers Nancy Del Olio and Faria Alam.

shall we?

sleb bb starts on Thursday ... is this gonna be a sleb bb blog?

and still it keeps coming

IAC news from the papers ...

NAT, YOU TOUCHED A TREE.. I'M A Celebrity moaner Natalie Appleton has clearly overcome her fear of trees - but still seems barking mad.

Fran Humbled by the Jungle Fran Cosgrave returned to Ireland claiming his third place finish felt like a win.

CAMP CROC AWAITS FOR NEXT JUNGLE CELEBS the show's executive producer, Alex Gardiner, is pushing hard to have the entire show moved to tropical Queensland, home of the saltwater crocodile.

I'm an Aussie final grr

Jordan (male not our Jordan) won! Why? He was rubbish and sexist so well done panel. One of the blokes did the HELLicopter trial and made it look very hard work. Back to Jordan (male not ours) he was rubbish at the trial and at finding the chest...so he won, hmph. I'm an Aussie was very good overall though. I read that there was a UK non celeb (how could we tell the difference) version planned. WOO (but why not just do a series of Survivor instead)?

I'm an Aussie day 4

Oh my they did this cool trial. Basically they rolled three of them down a hill in a big white ball thing and had to hit a target. The first one was strapped in, the second one had all tomato in with them and the third had eggs and other icky stuff. They were so sick and bruised ha! Shame it was thought of as too much for IACGMOOH as it was great. It is the final tomorrow boo.

*boom! boom!*

Sub-editor of the Week award goes to the Peterborough Today team for

Jungle Joe set to emus city fans

Do you see what they did there? Emus, geddit? A job on the S*n surely beckons with sub skills like that

Other news: they're back. Expect cheesy, rushed, p*ss-poor, tv ad campaigns featuring all your IAC faves (c.f. Linda Barker & DFS, Alex & Domestos), in time for the Xmas market, or demand your money back.

d'oh

I dunno why but sometimes, posting the tabloid news round up causes the side bar to slink off to the bottom of the page. Here goes again, 2nd time today, hopefully this time sidebar will stay put ...

DADDY ATE MY STICK INSECTS A DRUNKEN dad broke his son's heart by eating his three pet stick insects in a home-grown Bushtucker Trial with five mates. blimey and I thought we were IAC-crazy

Joe's cracking good deal I'm A Celebrity winner Joe Pasquale could be on the verge of signing up to an advertising campaign for Jacob's Cream Crackers.

Brian's jungle wash out The wrap party for the cast and crew of 'I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here' was a bit of a washout

THE BUTLER IS DEAD Says Paul Burrell I've shed demons .. I'll move on from Diana Bushtucker Trial was absolutely petrifying How bigmouth Janet nearly destroyed me

Joe mulls West End musical Funnyman Joe Pasquale may turn his back on comedy following his win in I'm A Celebrity.

Jungle inmates free now the Z-listers have been set free from the jungle, they're selling their stories to anyone with money. Which means the Mirror have nabbed butler Paul Burrell, the Sun get the king Joe Pasquale and the Star focus on everyone else.

VOH!

Voh voted out of I'm an Aussie... by sexist pigs Dr Thingy and Phil Tufnell PAH. One of the blokes (Michael) did the temple of doom trial and got 7 stars but told everyone he had got 3 until the food came. When the food did come it was disgusting, they thought it was possum but weren't sure, another of the blokes (I think Scott) has possums at home in a tree and hated it. It looked like a little skinned dog with no head. EWW. They got 'the chest' question wrong again but it took them long enough just to get it to camp. It was the one where they had to get the water into the bucket and Jordan (male) missed the key (as in could not see it) when the bucket came down so they had to do it twice.

three one-legged emus playing polo

Oooh I loved the IAC 'Coming Out' speshul tonight. Gosh I wish I had ITV2. The sleb family tent shots were bestest, I can't believe their families sit in a tent all day watching them on tv. I need to watch a show just about that. I vote for Dermot to do IAC's Little Brother live from the tent at 6pm every day during IACGMOOH5. And that shouty bloke from SAS Are you tough enough? to be in charge of the bush tucker trials. He[1] must need the work as the beeb have cancelled SAS are you etc? boo. I loved that show.

Where was I? Oh yes, prog tonight. Sheila, get a grip and calm down, woman. It's not good when your kids are scared of you. Vic, you're a twunt. Janet, you're entitled to feel superior. Sophie, new hair do = big big hair DON'T. Ant & Dec, don't sit the wrong way round, it upsets us.

[1] he = shouty bloke. Dermot has plenty of work what with his very excellent radio show and such like

I'm an Aussie day 2

The two blonde women did the laser chest challenge (eww one of the blokes made a chest 'joke') they got it then they opened the wrong one (they actually knew the right one but were confused by the instructions) Jordan (male not our Jordan) did the shopping trolley trial with the tight cat suit on, one of the other blokes told him to stuff a sock into it, so he did. Then they had trouble getting the harness over the sock. One of the blonde women were voted off EVERYONE was furious and mad at Voh, who was being loopy and annoying all, ha. They are voted off by a panel of Phil Tufnull, Tara Palmer Tompkinson and that Dr expert bloke from the trials.

Ooh I just read on digital spy that Krystal (one of the blondes) was on Big Brother in Australia this year and used to be a stripper.

Tuesday Papers

Sun:

You're Joe King SQUEAKY-voiced comedy star Joe Pasquale was last night crowned King of the Jungle - the hottest favourite ever to win.

Fran: The best time of my life IRISH charmer Fran Cosgrave downed a Guinness as he left the jungle — and said his 17 days there were “absolutely amazing”.

Sophie's wed hot BOOKIES yesterday made Sophie Anderton a hot favourite to marry next year.

Mirror:

THE ROCK IN A HARD PLACE Jim Shelley looks back over I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here and nominates his best moments...

JOE-KER OF THE JUNGLE Burrell stomachs a tough trial .. but Joe wins title

TOUGH FINAL TRIAL IS HARD TO SWALLOW Paul Burrell had to eat grubs and a kangaroo testicle, Fran Cosgrave had to wear the horrific eel helmet and Joe Pasquale was trapped in a rat-infested hellhole.

Independent:

A gentle touch with an emu will help feather Joe's nest

In Her Own Words: Janet of the jungle Snakes, singers and Sophie Anderton: they hold no terrors for Janet Street-Porter. The 'mother of live TV' reveals what life in the celebrity camp was really like (and how much she'll miss Paul Burrell)

Wrexham Evening Leader:

BURRELL STILL A KING IN HIS HOME VILLAGE HE may not have been crowned “King of the Jungle” but Paul Burrell won the hearts of millions last night after conquering a stomach-churning bushtucker trial.

Birmigham Evening Mail

From a King to a Jack "I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Back To Brum".

Belfast Telegraph:

Playing 'green' card dashes hopes of Irish wannabes Fran is the real winner. He freely admitted during his jungle stay that he wasn't a celebrity, even by the show's own low standards. But there he was, harvesting Irish votes by the bucket-load, enough in a poor series to threaten the marketing men's hopes of a "home-grown" King or Queen of the Jungle.

Megastar:

Joe of the jungle Nice guy Joe pipped show-tune spouting ex-Butler Paul Burrell into a shaking, sobbing, second place in the final of I'm A Celebrity, just ahead of beefcake night-owl Fran Cosgrave.

I'm an Aussie get me out of here!

VOH! My new most fave person ever! She is hilarious, a Little Mo from Eastenders lookalike (except a bit older) she is so rubbish as the first leader. It is not her real name you know.

Umm 'I'm an Aussie get me out of here' is the ITV2 show where they test the trials etc on Oz types before us Brits do it. It is on all week and it is fabulous.

My winner

I love Paul. Lovely Paul...Tom Hanks bestest friend and lookylikey he rules my world. So brave! So strong! *Sighs* I did retch twice along with his trial it was disgusting *pukes*.

King Jungle Joe

Stuff the corgis bring on the Emu's

Hmph. Me thinks Paul was robbed. He was the most entertainment value...better than the entire year of Eastenders!
Mind Joe is lovely and anyone who had to inspect Fran's balls has to recieve some sort of award.
Oh Paul is crying..... tears of joy, sadness and royalty bless!

Oh Balls

Tom Hanks doppelganger Paul Did the most gut wrenching Bush Tucker Trial tonight. Eating five varieties of bugs including at the end the Kangaroos testicle. This made me retch, and I'm a nurse. I seriously had to look away and think about pink fluffy kitties to avoid puking (esp when the white stuff came out, what was that? On second thoughts no-one tell me) TBH I think he deserves to win because of that but on the other hand...The sad little man is so desperate to win he shouldn't.
Fran's just been voted out as third place. They showed a very funny clip of Fran getting Joe to check out his balls because he was worried they'd been damaged.

if it can't be Janet

I spose I'll have to backing Joe to win, tho only by default. I don't like Paul, I don't see the point of Fran (only kept in by the votes of girlies with more phone credits than sense) so Joe it is.

It's like last year all over again, tho, innit. The true Queen of the Jungle again denied her crown because there's just not enough votes in being a stroppy, strong, sassy, opinionated woman. Not if you're over 30 and don't model underwear. Pah. Viva Janet!


Now, please excuse me while I go throw up. It's not my lurgy coming back, it's that I've just seen that the itv site is featuring Paul on Diana: The Transcript. Bleurgh.

dragging myself off my sick bed

to point and laff at Paul. Again.

Ha Ha Ha Ha. He got the flag question wrong. Some patriot he is. Bwaaahahahahahah. The Welsh flag is the missing one, as ane fule kno. Or as ane fule could work out after a few seconds' thought about just how many dragons there are on the union flag. Paul, so loyal, so devoted to keeping the Great in Great Britain. He doesn't want to talk about the royals, especially not Prinny Di, particularly not as the competion draws to an end and he's desperate for every vote. Oh no, our Paul wouldn't do a thing like that.



Gratuitous Doris Day pictures:

And then there were three

Janet was voted out tonight. It was between her and Fran and the mirror loving night club owner got the votes.
Janet's wondering how on earth they're going to cope without her!
Paul was terrified by the rats in camp tonight. After a quavery voice yelped for Joe then Janet to help him, he then decided it was a good job the girls weren't still in camp because they'd wet their knickers at the sight of the rats.
Hmm me thinks it's Pauls knickers that were wet.
Janet told him to think of them as large hamsters but any thing that's not Corgi shaped seems to worry dear Paul.

Hill Trial

For any of you in foreign countries who couldn't watch tonight's show. The bush tucker trial was the same as last years with the four trying to climb the muddy hill with water and other obstacles cascading down on them.
Janet reached first post, Joe had a bit of a struggle to get to second and then stay there, Paul took ages to reach third and even longer to get the star off then Fran legged it up to fourth then was hit by a huge ball and tumbled down taking the other three with him. Very funny stuff. They all scrambled back to their posts except dear sweet Paul who couldn't do it. So they only won three stars.
Back in camp, Paul said that Janet lost her star and stole his. Tsk...Baby boys!
The treasure chest was collected by Fran and Paul today. Fran had to climb a huge spiders web. But Paul still smarting from the BTT failure petchulantly wanted to do it and threw a bit of a paddy. A bit of bitching and tantrum behaviour followed.
Fran walked off to have a ciggie in a huff and Paul got the question wrong about the English flag.
Poor Paul...Not having a good day. It's hard work when you're trying so hard to be perfect. But you plainly aren't.
Anyways Janets pleased that it's a row she hasn't started.
Talking of Janet. The Scabby NOTW has a huge article today about Janets sex life. Apparently she's an animal in bed and has massive orgasms. I say bloody good for her. Go girl and be proud of it. Feck off NOTW

Usual rubbish

The tabs!


SEX-STARVED Sophie Anderton bedded her man SEVEN times in a 24-hour love marathon after being booted out of the jungle camp

And still had time to tell the News Of the World. In The Mirror she has beaten her demons.


She squealed: "Yes. Yes. Yes. I've done it. I'm so proud that I've shown everyone I've finally beaten my drug addiction.



Now I am off to drink my weight in booze in Manchester for 24 hours byeeee.

For a rather impatient Stephen

Men! Don't they know you have to wait for genius.
Well Jude's out seeing Will Young again and Clazza is poorly sick so looks like I have the key to the castle ha!
Steve was right of course. Tonight's Bush Tucker Trial was the funniest thing I've seen on TV since Judy lost her blouse.
Paul had to put his arm into 5 holes and collect the stars inside( bet he's never seen so many holes :P ). The funny bit though was his facial expressions and commentary...and Ant and Dec wetting their knickers laughing so much.
The first hole was green ants, the 2nd, lots of beetles things and slime...His arm came out like he'd been doing a gynaecological exam.
Third was huge spiders. Forth was big black rats one of which was sat on the star. Paul with a high pitched voice of fear asked it to 'Move over Darling'
The fifth was lots of moving snakes (he hates snakes). His face was a picture. Then when he got all five he had to sit down to recover. Then cheered loudly 'Fran WILL eat...Fran will not go hungry. Fran will have mashed potatoes'
Hmmm me thinks Paul :hearts: Fran. Maybe Vic's Old Compton Street Comment wasn't far off the mark if you get my drift.
Tonight's show was ace. Janet trying to sit her ass on that swing then hitting Joe head over heels.
Paul's description of the Queens pee problem with those Corgis. She keeps a soda stream and wipes on hand to clear up 'accidents'.
The argument over Paul describing Queenie as a normal grandmother, and Janet retorting 'Yes with a bloody Bentley and armed Guards'
Great entertainment.
Ok Steve was that ok? Hun? (snigger)

I lurve Janet

Janet tonight
Vote for me, I'm the only woman left in here with three 'men'
One who thinks he's an Emu
One who has spent all his life following around a little old lady and picking up Corgi shit
And one who won't let me look in the mirror because he's looking at himself every 5 minutes.

VOTE Janet or the earth will be destroyed by flesh eating trees. You have been warned.

Tabs today

SOPH KISSES GOODBYE TO CAMP ORDEAL

As she left, Sophie tipped ex-royal butler Paul Burrell to win. But earlier she showed her ignorance in a camp quiz when they were asked: “How much is the basic state pension for a single person in the UK per week?”

With a choice of £61 or £76, Sophie piped up: “How can anyone live on 61p?” Paul corrected her saying: “No, £61, baby.”

Sophie replied: “Oh my God – that was a model thing to say.”


Sophie: I need sex

Her boyfriend Mark said: “We haven’t seen her incredibly vicious streak yet — which is a good thing.”

Sophie hits Bristol News

Sophie went to school in Bristol, in Redland High actually. The local news channel had a little bit on her Jungle exit.
They commented on how, during her Bush Tucker trial she had bugs and worms in her mouth. Then nice Mr news reader said happily "I'm sure she'll have something much tastier in her mouth tonight".
As her BF was waiting for her at the end of the bridge. I'm sure they were right ;)

Sophie out!

ITV1 really fecked up her interview you couldn't hear it properly at all.

BTW...I can't believe I didn't go for the 'Respect The Rock' line on the Paul pic below.

Do not mock me jungle people.

Fran

Why I don't like Fran.

People are voting for him as they fancy him.

He said every week he buys new pants and socks and throws the old ones out THE FREAK.

He's not a celebrity! He got one of Atomic Kitten pregnant! That is it!

He looks in the mirror a lot which as we all know is a hanging offence.

I agree with Paul that Fran's nightclub charges too much for champagne (a litte chat they had) in fact champagne is just wrong. What is wrong with cava huh?

Huggy is out

Bless. He was crying! Dec didn't know where to look! I like him now he is out (and blubbing). Sheila greeted him on the bridge (why not his partner?). I liked Sheila rolling on top of Mark Durden Smith on itv2. I dunno about her phone in though.

Female caller - 'Sheila you are gorgeous and lovely'

Sheila - 'Are you gay'?

Hmm...

Next trial is by Sophie and Janet together then the next day (if he is still in) it will be Paul.

Peterborough's the place to be for IAC fans

Exciting news from Peterborough Today - Joe and Sheila are both going to be playing at the Broadway Theatre wooo. Although not together boo. I am disappointed. I originally formed the misaprehension that they were appearing together in panto. I'd've gone to Peterborough for that.

Live

They have had food, lots of it, Sophie couldn't eat a bite more but Fran was told off by Janet for eating all the beans even though she had just told everyone to eat as many as they liked.

Janet and Sophie have gone off to get the chest dressed as builders. Fran looked at Sophie with her bikini top, toolbelt and hard hat and said 'You're not going anywhere tomorrow'.

Fran and Huggy have chat about who knows most about films and Huggy mentions all the films he has been in and gives advice to Fran about getting into films.

Paul asks Huggy if he answers his own fan mail as Paul does. Huggy says his goes to his fanclub. Paul says he hasn't got one of those. I may start one!

I don't believe it!

my disbelief has lost it's suspenders after last night's box-fetching mullarky. Obv no way were they going to let those two put safety-critical harness equipment on by themselves so obv someone came and helped them, to make sure they were safe. I have no prob with that, I have a prob with the pretence that they're there all by themselves, except the film crew, safety people, doctor, etc etc etc. Bah.


Still watching, tho. Most dischuffed to recall I have to Go Out on Saturday night boo.

Thursday Papers

Sun:

Joe's plain squeaking SQUEAKY-voiced joker Joe Pasquale has revealed why he is the red-hot favourite to win I’m A Celebrity — he once had a job at an ASYLUM.

'Spoilt bitch' Sophie RANTING Sheila Ferguson last night branded Sophie Anderton a spoilt bitch after becoming the third celebrity to be booted out.

It's Buggy Hair HERE’S Huggy’s hair getting buggy as he nets four stars in his Bushtucker Trial.

Mirror:

MAD VICAR NEXT FOR REEVES JUNGLE reject Vic Reeves will soon be back on our television screens playing a crazy vicar.

THE BUGSTER: HUGGY BEAR'S A HIT IN THE WOODS THE LADY who hugs Huggy Bear says the jungle holds no fear for the man who yesterday had worms and spiders dropped on his head.

GRUB UP! BUSHTUCKER IS GOOD FOR YOU .. REALLY

Sky news:

NEIL SEAN'S I'M A CELEB GOSS Why was Nancy Sorrell - the first star to be booted out - ever in I'm A Celeb? She's hoping a comedy she made with hubby Vic Reeves will finally be aired.

Stolen from popbitch

Well the Sun does it.

"Coleman Balls Winner 2004 has to be Paul Burrell on IACGMOOH saying (in his plea for the public vote) something along the lines of:
the top moments in my life have to be my marriage, the birth of my children (pause - genius forgets what he's said about TOP moments about 5 seconds earlier]
[looks wistfully away from camera]
the death of the Princess - obviously

and blah blah blah."


edit: in case you were wondering who or what is popbitch, click here. Trin did make a link to it in the title but stoopid blogger hides it dur

Buggy Hair - now with pictures hurrah

and despite being the bookie's favourite two nights running, Huggy stays in the jungle. Sheila evicted tonight. Good. I think they all bad for picking on Sophie. Yesh she's a model and yesh she's all me me me but at least she doesn't need oxygen everytime she sees a tree. Unlike Natalie who everyone treated like an ickle bitty princess :vomits: I think I am still liking Janet best of all, tho.

Funniest bit tonight, of course, was when Paul didn't know the answer to the royalty question despite being a professional monarchist lackey and having told JSP that the last book he read was about Henry VIII. Tee Hee Hee.

She Walks

Sheila is no longer horizontal. She's vertical and out of there...and she Hated Sophie with a passion.

Rainforest

The Rainforest is one of my passions. The area where I'm a celeb is filmed is a site looked after by Rainforest rescue.
Rainforest Rescue has been working for several years to raise funds for the purchase of land in the Daintree by the Daintree Rainforest Foundation. Six properties have now been saved since they started.

$20 will buy and protect ten square metres. If you can help them, or know someone else that has a web site that would like to help, please add their banner to your site with a link to http://www.rainforestrescue.org.au

Gems from the Jungle

I adore Janet and Paul. I love the bickering, her ordering him around. His gentle moaning and bitchiness. Her straight out with it 'Shut Up Paul, get your 'and off me or I'll 'Ave you for sexual 'arrasement'
I have no idea why he moans though. He must love being bossed about by women. After all he chose his job. You reckon the Queen ever threatened him with Sexual 'Arrasement though?

But the words that drip from Huggy Bears mouth deserve Dubya status. How about the classic 'Bring the Body and the head will follow' WTF is that all about?

How about Joe? 'I look like George Clooney with me beard growing don't I?

And my personal fav Janet 'What on earth do we need pets for? I 'ate pets'

You reckon Paul got the hots for Sophie? He doesn't shut up about her body. Actually he doesn't shut up if the truth be told.
Cool music tonight though. I was well pleased to hear the Coral. Breath of fresh air.

yes yes yes!

Huggy Bear's Buggy Hair! hurrah

Wednesday's Papers

Sun:

Redhead's blue movie MOUTHY Janet Street-Porter has revealed that she once appeared in a PORN movie.

Nancy: Bosses fed Natalie pills to stop her freaking out SEXY Nancy Sorrell has revealed TV bosses had to give jittery Natalie Appleton SLEEPING PILLS — after she freaked out in the jungle.

Mirror:

VIC AND I WILL SURVIVE THE JUNGLE CURSE THE REAL NANCY SORRELL

DANGLE IN THE JUNGLE I'M A CELEB GET ME DOWN FROM UP HERE Joe wins the lot in copter trial

Next trial done by...

HUGGY! At last he is going to do something! Anything! Nancy so wants to be a tv presenter judging by her appearance on ITV2 with Mark 'looks like his mother' Durden Smith and Tara 'ellooooooo jungle ott line' Palmer Tompkinson'.

Mark the lookylikey



Judith his mother



Glad (like me) it seems no one (voters anyway) likes celeb couples on reality tv shows hurrah.