loving your work, Kemal

About last night ...

Maxwell and Saskia were audibly kissing under the covers and from the next bed Kemal decided to complain.

"Is this ordeal ever going to end so we can get some bloody sleep? I'm sure you've secured your magazine deal," Kemal sniped.

"You're the biggest p**** in the world," Maxwell shouted as Saskia backed him up by calling Kemal a "w*****".

Maxwell then leaned over and threw a glass of water over Kemal, shouting: "There's you f****** ordeal!"

Covered in water, Kemal replied quite brilliantly: "At least somebody got wet tonight...and it wasn't Saskia."

geeky chic

nice coinage, Kemal. I'm glad geeky chic is so this season, I shall bear that in mind when I go shopping for new glasses.

Craig goes from dreadful to appalling. His DR diatribe about how he is only friends with the beautiful people, bwaahahahahahahaahahaha. He is a Very Bad Man. Ick.

And Maxskia's under-duvet fumblings are just vile.

Copycats

Big Brother Australia have just got three new housemates as well. That's a timely coincidence.

I hate Craig

What a nasty little sucking-up creep he is, all that 'you won't get 3 better people than this, these new HMs can't match up, Saskia is the most beautiful woman in the world' gushing in hte DR last night nearly made me throw up. I also hate Saskia, for many many reasons, today's top reason being the way she's always messing with her hair and throwing it about everywhere eeww. But most of all I hate Maxwell. So he has to go, and also because it will be 'interesting' to see how Saskia copes once the 'alpha male' she's staked her sucess to is gone.

YES!

Maxwell and Saskia up for nomination. I'm so happy they are to be separated. Young love just disgusts me, arf. I'd like Maxwell to go please. Anthony and Craig looked very upset. Ha.

Bad BB

The divide in the house is pretty bad ATM. On the one side we have the Likely Lads. Maxwell, Saskia, Anthony and Craig. Smacks of some stupid Fraternity, Craig is their lackey. Their joker. Roll over and let me put my feet on your Craig. And the fool complies.
The other side are the misfits. The cosmopolitan freedom fighters. Battling against opposition. Kemal, Diva Gay and sensitive, Makosi their chosen leader, lively and wicked, Vanessa portable mattress, Derek, square peg in a round hole, Science man for himself (but very thoughtful underneath.
The 'racist' comments being thrown across the divide are pretty atrocious and wouldn't be aloud on any other TV programme
Saskia "People like you have a chip on their shoulder" to Makosi
Now enter the gardeners. Kinga was ditched (thankfully) and we have the nerdy, sweet Eugene. Eugene has the potential to replace Craig as the team joker or be welcomed to the misfit pack. He's teetering. But The blonde blue eyed Irish Lass Orlaith... Now they WANT her really bad on the Frat team. They will fight for her till the death. Queen Saskia must feel threatened. Note Craigs arm around her when the new people entered and Max was showing Orlaith his pleasant side. He was saying 'Don't worry Saskia, you're still our favourite' Then said rather tellingly 'I'm not hurting you, not squeezing you too tight saskia' Allowed to enter her personal space for once, allowed in the 'inner' circle but worried he'd ruin it by being over zealous.
Compulsive viewing but almost painful. Not something I want to kids to watch. Not role models, hope it all comes right in the end and decency prevails.

BBLB

Makosi is to choose the new housemates today and Anthony and Maxwell can't nominate. HA HA.

Cider with Makosi

MAKOSI sparked a furious row that split the Big Brother house today when she smuggled six cans of cider into the Secret Garden.

She helped herself to the treats which had been requested for the luxury food and drink supply by "Team Saskia" and split them among her new friends.

When Big Brother asked a housemate to come to the Diary Room, the nurse correctly guessed alcohol was on its way as she sprinted inside.

She brushed past a thirsty Maxwell who spotted the cans.

Makosi then opened the secret door within the Diary Room and shared the drink with garden housemates Kinga, Orlaith and Eugene.

After downing the cans she departed the Diary Room and was soon met with a tirade of abuse from a furious Saskia.

Staggering into the bedroom looking pleased with herself, the Zimbabwean claimed Big Brother spurred her on to drink all six cans for fun.

"Her mouth reeks of cider!" screeched Vanessa.

Maxwell fumed: "It's bang out of order. You've been a silly little girl!"

Saskia did not believe Makosi's story and asked for evidence, which she supplied by breathing on her.

The busty Londoner raged: "It smells of dog s***!

"You're a big attention seeking drama queen! You're a selfish ***** and you'll go nowhere in life!"

The claws were and well truely out now as Makosi hit back at her "relationship" with Maxwell, as she accused her of stringing him along.

The row degenerated into a slanging match between the two camps in the house, Team Makosi and Team Saskia.

Both factions vowed to stir up more trouble today with more arguments likely as Makosi continues to sneakily prise treats away from the housemates - mainly Anthony, Craig, Maxwell and Saskia.

She was given a secret mission to feed, clothe and tend the secret housemates - if she fails she will automatically face eviction on Friday but if she succeeds she will be immune from the public vote.

The sad four then sat around all night by themselves and talked about how bad is would be being up against each other. Is Craig asking Max, Sas and Ant who they hate most the day before nominations not just asking who they will nominate?

Bent

Wow Orlaith is a supple babe. I am really finding BB tedious and frustrating ATM, so excuse my apathy. Best to ignore it and not get wound up. The Maxwell/ Science food thing is so childish that I can't bear it. It's like some year 9 prank from boys who know no better. But I'm not only mad with Maxwell but Craig and Saskia for thinking it funny. Last week Danz told me her mate at school had called a year 2 pupil with glasses 4 eyes. This little 6 year old then threw her glasses on the floor crying and refused to wear them again. Her friend got a detention. But Danz laughed as she told me. I went mad...Absolutely MAD. Danz wasn't involved with the incident but I expected far far better from her. Laughing was BAD.( to be fair Danz laughs when she's nervous anyways) So we talked about consequences our our behaviour, peoples feelings etc. Now come on that was an incident with an 11 year old. These guys are adults. Unbelievable.

bbtoons - the Bigbrother 6 UK cartoons

bbtoons - the Bigbrother 6 UK cartoons

A cool BB site. The guy does all his own cartoons. Check it out.

C.R.E.E.P

A nice article about the lovely Maxwell. Mwahaha.

Speaking of vapid grins, at the time of writing the Big Brother (tonight, 9.10pm, C4) house is still hopelessly infected with Maxwell - a witless droopy-eyed thug and the most despicable housemate in the programme's history. Despite single-handedly making the show impossible to sit through, in his own mind he's guaranteed a career in broadcasting the moment he leaves. Lolling around in the loft the other day, he spent several minutes confidently discussing his future media-career options with Anthony the Formica Android.

As the words "I wouldn't turn down a radio job" farted through his pukesome little blowhole, I was suddenly confronted by a terrifyingly plausible vision of the future in which Chris Moyles is suddenly only the second most gormless and insufferable prick on Radio 1. Here's a better idea: give Maxwell a job on Pimp My Ride UK. He won't take much convincing - it's a show about selfish boasting. And he can perform a valuable service by testing the cars' safety features. With Maxwell in the driving seat, I'd happily watch hour upon hour of blinged-out motors thundering headlong into ditches, walls, oncoming trains, the ocean... whatever. Provided it's fatal, I'm there. Might even help me sleep nights.

I do like a bit of

Jenni Trent Hughes she should of been on BBLB today as she loves Roberto. I do like Vanessa Feltz sounding off about BB but doing it about Roberto on his main BBLB is a bit mean.

she is handsome, she is pretty

She is the belle of Belfast City

BEST IN BED BIG Brother's new blonde beauty Orlaith McAllister spent a night of passion with Calum Best. ... Orlaith also dated a local hero, Belfast Giants ice hockey star Curt Bowen for 11 months until February this year.

Big Brother Orlaith - what a bummer says 'disappointed' relative Big Brother is watching you Orlaith McAllister - but NOT some of your relatives at home in Ulster! ... one relative exclusively told Sunday Life: "I don't watch Big Brother and I have no intention of watching it either. I have young kids in the house, so I wouldn't put a show like that on."

I'll tell my ma, indeed.

now she's torn it

As a result of her Father Dougall moment, Makosi is now up for the public vote this week. Unless ....

unless she can steal food and clothes for the garden gang for the rest of hte week without being discovered.

Makosi in secret garden

She pressed the red button that appeared in the house when no one else would. She is now in the secret garden and is going to take stuff for them from the house.

just in case you were thinking of liking Eugene

not that I was, but I do have a soft spot for Eugenes in memory of an enormous crush on an extremely hunky leather jacketed American one I once knew. Then I re-read Jude's earlier post and noticed something I'd missed before ...

he is a friend of former contestants Federico Martone and Cameron Stout
he is a friend of Federico Martone and Cameron Stout
friend of Federico and Cameron

'nuff said.

do I not like this

No I don't.

3 new 'housemates' in the secret garden is a very bad idea. I know it makes no sense to complain about anything in BB being contrived, but this feels like a contrivance too far. The set up (and the set) is ludicrious, the people are cartoon characters - 'Barbie' Orlaith, Tickle-lite Eugene, Minger Kinga.

Add to that the fact that it seems like at least 2, quite possibly all 3, were in the house for the pre-BB dummy run and so know the house, each other (and Maxwell?), that they've been watchhing the show and worst of all, the fact that their stealing food will cause even more tedious 'you stole my apple' rows among the other HMs and this year might just be the year I stop watching.

beautiful Orla

Oh I cannot wait for this gorgeous girl to knock Saskia down a peg or two. Maxwell's gonna drool

Newbies

The Picture says it all. Orlaith slightly distancing herself from the others but still smiling and being 'sweet', Kinga putting her stamp on the only 'male' available but still obsessing over those baps and Eugene... overwhelmed trying not to get an erection (think tea think tea) slightly sweaty head, body language says relax into this Eugene this may NEVER happen again to you in your lifetime. I feel sorry for the little guy. One of them's got her hands by her crotch and the other keeps playing with her chest...what's a man to do?

Secret garden housemates

FIG BROTHER

Secret three enter wearing just leaves

By Nicola Methven, Tv Editor

THREE new housemates entered the Big Brother house last night wearing nothing but fig leaves as bosses tried to spice up the show.

But the three - a virgin, an exhibitionist and a model - did not meet the rest because they are living in a secret garden hidden within the house.

Kinga Karolczak, Eugene Sully, and Orlaith McAllister entered while the others were locked in the living room and stole as much food and drink as they could within one minute - because they will not be given any more while living in secret.

Each day the other housemates will be given more hints about their existence until finally they are introduced.

Former barmaid Kinga, 20, a market researcher from London, told producers she wanted to join because she is 'looking for a fling'. The self-confessed exhibitionist has a 44FF chest and says she is a 'two-faced bitch'.

Half Polish and half Kuwaiti, she thinks she will soon be nominated for eviction, saying: 'I'm loud and I'll flirt with everyone and snog them.'

Radio engineer Eugene, 27, from Crawley, West Sussex, admits being a virgin and thinks he will soon be up for the chop 'because I am irritating, I am a snob and I am boring'.

His hero is Terry Wogan, he likes to throw old TVs off cliffs to record the sound and stood for Labour in the county council elections in May.

And he is a friend of former contestants Federico Martone and Cameron Stout.

Federico said: 'He is very bizzare. I think he's an absolute legend.'

Belfast model Orlaith, 24, loves to box and go snowboarding. She does not expect to go down well with the other women, saying: "I may be a threat to them. I may say something nasty."

Orlaith, who has had a boob job, came second in Miss Northern Ireland in 1999.

She will miss appearing in a fashion show at Monday night's Miss Northern Ireland.

Model agency boss Alison Campbell said: "This is all news to me. I've been trying to get hold of her to finalise details. I didn't know where she was."

I heart Kinga

I went from wanting to die and swearing never to watch BB again to loving the new housemates in 30 mins. Kinga is ace and the crowd shouting 'Kinga minger' should go feck off. I like all three newbies (Orlaith, Eugene and Kinga) actually but I feel the need to talk about Kinga because of the stupid BB crowd.

Eugene


I did like Orlaith's stealing of the cleansing wipes. Very important!

Oh yes and Roberto left.

Say Cheese

OMG Shell appears to be the new face of cheese.

Davina on BBLB

She said the three people going in were 'not necessarily housemates'. Ooh.

What will Craig say? Will he have to change groups again?

In other news...Davina is ill. Ha. Serves her right for going about in a bikini last week.

Looky! It's a new alleged housemate.

More of them!

Fresh housemates for Big Brother

Exciting tonight. They are going to add not one but THREE more housemates tonight. Lets hope at least one of them is likeable because the present lot are all vile.
Ha so the vile Vanessa gets no sweeties next week. Serves her right.

Dr Jude

Having diagnosed Chris Eubank I am now thinking Science has aspergers.

twist?

Tomorrow night's eviction show is an hour long instead of half an hour so they must be up to something. Seekrit room? New girlie housemate? Double eviction? New HM seems most likely but you never know, they could suprise us by doing something interesting. Just please no nekkid Davina-ness.

time out

taking a break from BB to get started on a whole new obsession - The Apprentice USA series 2. Looking good already, one of the contestants just walked in wearing pimp shoes and someone else described one woman as Cruela DeVille. I :heart: the Apprentice.

Chris Eubank

On BBLB tonight. What's with the obsessive compulsive head touching? I see people on the official forum saying he was just wiping sweat away...hmm I know obsessive compulsive behaviour when I see it. Allegedly.

Task passed

Makosi told Maxwell what had been going on and later she said to Vanessa she had told him as she thought Saskia wanted to do it but she (Makosi) was always one step ahead!

Noms

Derek and Roberto. Seems like Vanessa has got away with not doing the task and Maxwell for ordering and hiding the cider.

A Bitch

How did the dull, unattractive and pathetic Vanessa make it into BB? I'm watching the BB repeat on E4 Vanessa pushed her way forward to be Number one. Then she runs out pretending to cry. Sorry guys but she was NOT crying.
As far as I could see Maxwells bad behaviour had him well and truly up for nomination this week but because of her patheticness he may just escape.
Someone on Digispy said she should be put up for automatic nomination for refusing the task. I wish BB would be tougher.
Makosi's terrible screaming is making me want to switch off and the pretense of that vomiting after the 'so called' maggot task was stupid. Max isn't thick, any OTT falseness and he'll work it out. Makosi is a crap actress.
Science is the most genuinely caring person in there. Who'd have thought it!
Yes.... I want another housemate. I want to be able to really like one. Even Lisa seems nice up to most of this lot.

s3xy new girlie?

Rumours rumours that they're bringing in a new girl to 'spice things up', because there isn't enough eye candy to keep the watching public (and advertisers) happy. Brand Republic says

the 'Big Brother' producers are worried the house will be too male-orientated and viewers may switch off because of the lack of female talent. .... The arrival of a new girl will also shake things up because there is no real romance in the house this year.

Please not. The last thing we need is another bikini wearing giggling simpering wannabe in 'shock' mode.

bizarre peasants

Vanessa is Bad. Bad Bad Bad. First up, having picked no. 1 she refuses to do the workhouse task because it involves maggots. No, I wouldn't like to spend time dealing with maggots either but by going on Big Brother she has volunteered to do that stuff. And then, when it turns out that it's all a cunning ruse and only worker no. 1 has to do the workhouse task, she parties like it's 1999 without a shred of remorse. Big Brother had better put her up for nomination tomorrow as punishment or there is no justice in the world. Also, she has been stirring it something rotten, telling Makosi that she overheard AnTHony saying he was only snogging Makosi for the cameras. Not that I like AnTHony but Vanessa was still a badman.

Actually all of them are bad. They need Kitten in their to unionise them and stage a worker's uprising and refuse to get fat on the back of the sweated labour of one of their number. This task is not Evil Big Brother, it's petty mean and spiteful Big Brother. What I really hate is that it's making me feel sympathy for Maxwell when I loathe him.

Also on the badman list, Derek Derek Derek and him slagging off Science's 'bizarre peasant style' cooking. Feck off, poseur. I loved the way Science gets right up Derek and Roberto's noses.


Science is still my fave. For all his rapping and his believes in fairies and such, I can't help liking him. He's the only one with the slightest smidge of genuineness about him. I love the way he struggles to explain himself and to understand other people, and seems to be genuinely trying to fathom life out.

Ok week four. My thoughts on the remaining HM's
Maxwell: Hate him, he's rude, bigoted, egotistical and sooo dull
Anthony: The Bum incident in the diary room shows him to be extremely rude. There was no need of that. Hope it returns to haunt him.
Makosi:Hate her, hate her laugh, hate her princess attitude, hate her everything.
Saskia: The worst woman in the UK ATM. Someone tell her to get a good bra in M&S. Vile girl.
Vanessa: Shallow and dull and thick as a plank.
Craig: immensely irritating but to a point mildly watchable
Science: Potential if only he'd quell his anger. But probably the most genuine person there.
Kemal: Getting better. I could love him if he stops the histrionics and OTT stuff.
Roberto:The only one I truly like. Has potential to be very funny. We haven't seen all of him yet as the pettiness of it all has dragged him down. His 'date' with Kemal was so funny.
Derek: Wish I could like him, but his outside persona's reputation lies before him. But he can be wickedly funny, great one liners but also he can be a huge pain in the ass too. But I'd vote to keep him in to irritate Maxaskia.

Oh Derek if only you weren't such a bad man in RL

Line of the week:

Derek to Anthony: "So have you ever slept with a black girl then?"

Anthony (blushing furiously) : "errrm no…."

Derek: "So who will it be then, me or Makosi?"

Scary Mary, Lesley (still dressed in PVC) and Sam at T4 on the beach today in Weston Super Mare with Trin yay!! it was about 35 degs and Trin got burnt. 

Room 101

I love this task. Vanessa was chosen as the unlucky housemate (whoever chose number one was the one) but she refused to go in the room and was crying outside it, so somehow (there was an ad break) Maxwell was chosen instead. He loves it in that room listening to music on the headphones whilst sorting maggots! Meanwhile the rest of the housemates had ice cream and bouncy castle outside before going back in and pretending they had been sorting maggots for 2 hours as well!

This was posted in the digi spy forum by someone in the know.

ROOM 101 FOR ONE BIG BROTHER HOUSEMATE

This afternoon the house will be transformed into the Big Brother Workhouse and
the Housemates will face the most laborious tasks of their life... well that is
what one Housemate thinks anyway!

Every day only one Housemate will be required to complete a gruelling task. They
will be known as 'The Sap.' The Sap assumes all the other Housemates are in the
same boat, when in fact they are drinking champagne, dipping marshmallows in a
chocolate fountain and bouncing on a bouncy castle, while the Sap works
tirelessly away.

In order to pass the week's task the Housemates must convince the Sap that they
have also been working just as hard. If The Sap finds out that s/he's been made
a fool of, none of the Housemates will receive their food budget for the
following week including The Sap.

The secret workhouse will be revealed to the Housemates when the weekly task
starts. The workhouse is located by the Diary Room and will be labelled.
Housemates now work for Big Brother and must clock in each day between the hours
of 8.30am and 9.30am using the Clocking In Machine. Workers must only clock in
using their own clocking in cards.

Big Brother has provided workhouse food for the duration of the task.
Workers will be rewarded with a luxury food hamper plus an additional group
prize if the task is successfully completed and Big Brother is happy with their
overall productivity.

If the group receives 3 or more warnings on any given day during the task, the
task will be failed.

DAY 1
On Big Brother's instruction each Worker must choose a numbered locker, from 1
to 10. Inside the locker, for the worker to collect is their numbered hat and
clocking in card. The number each Housemate chooses will be the number Big
Brother calls each Worker for the duration of the task.
For this week's task only ONE Worker will be required to complete a shift each
day in the Workhouse. The Worker who chooses Number 1 will be that Worker and
known as the Sap.

The Workers will then be instructed to form a line in number order and Big
Brother will call 'Number 1' to go through to the Workroom door. The Workhouse
contains 10 separate Rooms. Worker Number 1 is in Room 101. Once in this room
'Number 1,' must put on the headphones provided and start work.
The remaining Workers will not go into the Workhouse, instead they will be told
this week's secret task.

Before Number 1 has finished their shift the remaining Workers will go to Room
105 where they will 'dirty' themselves and wait to be called individually into
the House by Big Brother.

TASK FOR THE SAP
For today's shift in the Workhouse the SAP will work alone sorting maggots.
In the Workroom will be a bin full of red, bronze and white maggots. There will
also be rows of empty jars with red, bronze and white labelled tops.
The SAP must sort the maggots into the correct coloured jars. For example, all
the red maggots must be sorted into the red topped jars, all the bronze maggots
into the bronze topped jars and all white maggots into the white top jars.

REWARD FOR WORKERS
The remaining Workers will enjoy a luxurious and fun packed children's party.
There will be a bouncy castle, a chocolate fountain, an ice cream machine and a
garden full of sweets.

DAY 2 & DAY 3 - Information to follow

REWARD FOR WORKERS
The remaining Workers will enjoy a garden party. They will play human-size
chess, eat the tastiest cakes, drinks Pimms and relax on picnic blanke

Chick chick chick chick

CHICKEN task today to win entrance to a barn dance. Makosi broke her egg early on so is out. I'm hoping Maxwell is out as he has no chicken feet on. Memories of the box task with Derek and Roberto refusing to leave their nests after 20 mins of sitting on the eggs, the rest went back in the house but they thought they had to stay outside. Eventually BB told them to go in.

thank gawd that's over

and to think I thought Lesley's interview was bad! Sam's was just dreadful. Seemingly incacapable of any intelligent or reasoned or interesting responses, she just kept doing that horrible laff. And then she lapdanced Davina! Eeeeewwwww. Worst of all was her hair. I am so sending her a Claire's voucher so she can get herself some nice slides to KEEP IT OUT OF HER FACE.

Then there was Davina's bikini. OMG. I did wonder why she was wearing a coat made from a bin liner, when she whipped it off to reveal her bikini (any positive publicity for her excercise vid a complete co-incidence). It was very funny but a bit mean, I thought, to upstage a HM on what is supposed to be their big moment. Even if it was Sam.

Completely loved Maxskia's reaction to Sam going. Their faces! So gutted it wasn't Derek or Roberto. Saskia's face was the epitome of bulldog chewing a wasp.

Have to say Kemal's hair in braids is not a good look for him, tho.

Yes!!!

Sam out. But my joy is seeing the slimy sure-of-himself Maxwells sulky little face. He was SURE he was going to get rid of one of his arch enemies. But no. It was not to be. Well done BB for insisting the crowd cheer. That upset them all too. I cannot bear the Saskia Maxwell thing. He can't do any wrong in her eyes and she is a goddess to him. Last years Stu/Michelle thing was so much better. Stu's reluctance and her mad jealousy.
With only 7 quid per person to feed them for the week Maxwell buys 8 strong ciders for himself. If that's not a selfish pig what is? I do not find him remotely amusing. He's a twat first class.
And so frigging what that Del Boy was chatting about the Virgin Mary Saskia. He was quite right, the cheers for them last week DID make them feel invincible. All I hope is we don't have the same ones up for eviction week after week (actually that's not all I hope, I'd like Craig to fall and break his whiny little neck)
Anyways I'm off to have a glass of biere blonde as a celebratory drink. Cheers me dears.

tonight's odds

Sam is now favourite to go tonight, hurrah! Makosi is favourite for overall winner.

highlights of the highlights show

• AnTHony's complete indifference to Sam's s3x33 lap dance. I loved the way he pecked her on the cheek at end of it. Bwaaahahahhaahahahaahah and Sam 2 Go!
• Derek bursting into the Love Loft announcing Saskia had two minutes to turn the black bitch. I still hate him but he is funny. Whereas Saskia ... ffs, asking a gay man if he has a problem with women? Dur D'oh Dumb.
• Derek and Kemal's lurve scene
• and best of all Science apologising to Kemal from the heart of his shoe. I love Science. He is proper dutty (see I has got all the street talk cos my son goes to school in da ghetto innit).
  

Could someone please tell BBLB that Simarik is not the only Turkish pop song? It's not even the only pop song by Tarkan. Incidentally, now you too can smell like the Turkish Riki Martin.

An ideal gift for belly dancers everywhere ...

Speed date does not mean speedy sex

This is NOT going to make me like Sam! I voted her out already. I need Rob and Del to stay to wind up the insipid trio. If any of them win I will scream.

Craig decides to complete the pirate task and the box task all together. 

Desperate times

Calls for desperate Sam. In the speed dating last night she was snogging Makosi and lap dancing for Anthony. Eww. It was all quite funny though like Derek barking and Roberto making Kemal flustered.

So the tabloids have reported Anthony's frightful experience of the oral kind with a dildo. Personally I think he is a dildo. No maybe less useful than a dildo. I think he should have been evicted for allowing the other HM's to raid the luxury fridge. If they don't play the game and follow the rules, there is no game and it all descends to total anarchy. Car Crash TV at it's worse. It's such a damn shame but there isn't a single one of them who is even a tiny bit likeable. And WTF? BBLB today had the dick to end all dicks on TV today. The ugly vile slob that is called Chris Moyles. A bad day indeed. 

Heuston we have a problem

Ho ho. The problem is that maybe Derek Laud will go this week and not Sam Heuston!

Science is still bossing them around even though they failed the task dayssssssss ago. I like Science (shocker).

Third nominations

Derek, Roberto and Sam. Please let Sam be out. Pleaaaaaaaaseeeeeeeeeee.

Nomination news

Derek, Roberto and Craig have been banned from nominating this week and have been shown discussing the other housemates on the plasma screen. Craig now wants to leave. Another week of no real nominating then. I don't know what Makosi and Vanessa have to be aggrieved about seen as they have been responsible for the last two nominations.

swash your buckle

and shiver yer timbers, for there be a pirate task ahoy, there be.

hurrah for Capt Science who has just told the gurls to shut up and stop singing. Hopefully he will make them walk the plank if they resume.

Out of their boxes

The task is over. BB has told the remaining housemates still in their box (Roberto, Anthony and Derek) to come out of them.

Grossness

The official BB channel 4 website has a piece about what people did to pass the time in the box.

Speculating who else might have made good use of the intimacy of the box, Craig revealed, "Sam did, you should have heard her! Makosi said 'are you OK Sam?... and Science saw her!"

"Her box was tiny" and impressed Kemal shrieked.

Kemal then analysed the goings on, "So, you did (Maxwell), you did (Craig) and Sam."

Saskia sounding disappointed said, "I would have done but I couldn't." Obviously bad timing for Saskia to be in the womanly way.

No wonder there were a few smiling faces around the Big Brother House this evening.

With Joyous reporting we are told that most of them had a quick masturbation session in there, but we now also know that Saskia has her period (in the womanly way)
FFS Channel 4. Do we want to know any of that? The thought of Craig spanking his monkey or Sam using her torch to pot hole, is particularly vile. Thank you.

Good Riddance Lesley

I shan't miss Lesley's irritating voice on TV from now on. I hated her whole persona. She was immature, silly and extremely narrow minded.
What irritated me the most was that she learnt nothing from the BB experience. Her interview, in that ghastly Police outfit, with Davina was shite.
Lesley talked over Davina, refused to believe what she said and simply didn't listen. She is still of the belief that she is right with whatever she says or does. Accountability is null and void. Frankly I wanted her slapped down.
Classic. 'If I think someone is ugly I'll tell them'.
Is that the way her mother brought her up? Where is her compassion and manners?
Classic. 'I know I'm dead attractive. Men fall at my feet'.
Darling. Men fall at your feet wanted a quick shag. You are not the type to take home to Mother, the type to marry or even the type to show off as your GF. Jade Goody is light years ahead of Lesley. Jade had compassion and empathy. Jade might have been of low intelligence but she knew it and was able to laugh at herself, laugh with us.
Lesley was a nasty piece of work who needs to put her chest away and work on her personality.
Classic... (Craig crying on Vanessa's shoulder) "She didn't deserve to be evicted. She did nothing wrong. She was a lovely person. Lovely and kind"
Craig needs to get out more.

you are live on e4, please do not sing

Aaargh my ears. I had to turn off the telly before Saskia's (or was it Sam's?) warbling made me smash it in. My reaction to Maxwell's charming "Ing-er-land" chanting was not dissimilar, particularly when he moved on to a song about the Germans, but luckily they cut the sound before I did permanent damage to my consumer durables.

I have no idea why Science is dressed to go potholing, with a torch round his head and a compass round his neck. Perhaps that's how he dressed to find his way out of da ghetto?

Boxed in! Living in a box! Etc!

The housemates are in boxes except Kamal, Science and Sam who have left theres already. They have to stay in their box the longest to win a prize of a three course meal and booze for themselves. Anthony is determined to win, to tempt him out he has had his Mam's voice played to him from the diary room. Vanessa wasn't in a box as she has been to hospital, she hurt her foot bouncing on beds, the second trip to casualty this week of a housemate.

Over in Oz they have had their first sex and it involved a Michelle! The Oz one sounds interesting...

Last Sunday's evictee Michael created a storm when he dropped his pants during last week's adults-only Uncut version of the Channel 10 reality program.

The 27-year-old demolition man was seen massaging fellow housemate Gianna's shoulders, his penis exposed all the while.

The incident sparked cries of sexual harassment and prompted calls for Big Brother Uncut to be pushed into a timeslot later than its current 9.40pm on Mondays.

back to Huddersfield

Lesley evicted, with quite possibly the worst eviction interview in the history of BB.

task failed

hospital task failed, quel surprise, so they have only £77 for food for the week. Squabbling between the chicken nuggets & crips gang and the pasta & lentils gang.

I liked in the olden days when the bet a proportion of their budget on a task.

Max might get his wish

According to the Sun, Makosi may be in bother over her immigration status. Immigration officers battering the door down and dragging her off to a detention centre, that'd make great tv. Should please "why doesn't she go back to her own country?" Max and "I'm not racist but" Saskia no end.

In other news, Craig says he's turning asexual. Perhaps he wants to be Norfolk's answer to Stephen Fry when he grows up?

I am without speech

Alicia Duvall on BBLB I am speechless! How many words did she actually say? At least 5. Was she paid for that? Mary was excellent as always. Mary for Most Haunted!

betting news

Skelmanthorpe lass favourite for eviction

beats working

some snippets from the papers:

Sun: Mary 'worked in brothel'

Mirror: SAM'S BOOB HELL

Mirror: Kemal in 'man meets man on gaydar' shocker!

Huddersfield's backing Lesley! why she could be a singing sensation

forget BB

It's all about BW

[dermot voice]The question on today's bblb phone in is, 'if you could exterminate one HM who would it be and why?'[/dermot voice]

too girlie girlie

I have been belatedly watching BBLB on E4, and now have that song going on in my head, after Science's comments that someone's been too chatty chatty.

I have no idea if Vanessa is Good or Bad (curses to RL keeping me from my E4) but I couldn't help liking her for being so utterly clueless when BB called her to the diary room to confront her with her sins. I of course reserve the right to hate her tomorrow.

All up for eviction

The housemates are all up for eviction as Vanessa told Lesley she had nominated Sam.

text SAM to 64404
(35p plus your STD network rate)

You know it makes sense. Apart from the costing money bit.

Hamilton alert

Christine Hamilton is on BBLB tonight hurrah. I knew it wouldn't be long until she was on talking about her friend Derek.

Doctors and nurses

The house has been turned into a hospital. Craig is a pregnant lady, Saskia a nurse with a very short dress, Roberto is in his element is matron and Sam a very unhappy patient with a long nightie (walking round the garden with it hitched up). Science is convinced they have failed already.

Even though I hate her

I felt sorry for Sam on tonight's programme. It was too much like bullying. I think she may walk if she gets nominated.

I love the Saskia as Big Brother thing. That is cool and makes me wonder what else is going to happen oh and it reminded me of Michelle in the bedsit watching chicken Stu..

tit bits (put 'em away leslay)

Maxwell says Sam laughs like Mutley.
Saskia chooses to give Maxwell knickers rather than Roberto coffee.
Craig hates men mincing round the house
And finally we get to see Sam and Lesley at each others throats.
BBLB had a guest on (dunno who but yesterdays was fecking some has been from Hear'Say) She was ace. She said the HM's were acting like kids.
Worst than kids. They're quite obnoxious. They all need a good smacking. Bags me smack Roberto though. He's smouldering.

bomb da house?

Bomb squad called to Big Brother house. Lordy, whatever does Sam keep in that make-up bag?

Violence

Obviously I do not condone such things but I'll make an exception just this once. Punch Sam!

About last night...

Those sex starved Housemates are on the rampage. Makosi got her hands in Anthony's pants as the Team Britney girls got it on in a neighbouring bed.

Noms are taking place now.

heart to heart

having finally wrested the tv back from my pox-ridden child and got to watch some live BB at last, I find Roberto and Kemal having some kind of heart to heart in the loft. Kemal is very angry with Roberto over something, I dunno what but it sounds like maybe Roberto called Kemal's pint a puff or summat? Anyway Roberto is doing that apologising-while-not-really-apologising thing and being deeply patronising in the process. I think he may be Badman.

Talking of Badmans, Derek allegedly talking about noms, naughty naughty. Craig said so, so it must be true.

Oh god it's all gone horribly post modern, the other HMs are talking about the "I'll do anything to get on TV" slot on the Word. Wtf? I don't believe any of them even watched the Word, the are surely all too young ot have been allowed to stay up that late. If they were, their parents should be interviewed by Social Services forthwith, exposing children to Terry Christian must surely count as child abuse?

Meanwhile on the island

ITV Celebrity Love Island - News

Mouths are agape, and eyes are like saucers. Saucers of milk, that is.
Yes, the arrival of American Pie three's dominatrix cop stripper on Love Island has certainly provoked somewhat of a reaction.

Well, quite! I'm still finding this programme amusing. Apparently the surfer dude Abi met last week is joining as well. Rebecca is denying having THE SEX with Calum in the bathroom when they were there for 18 mins. Paul having been removed whilst drunk from the island is back and given up the booze...

Saskia has won

The counting task. Her reward was to listen to a housemate of her choice in the diary room and ask them (via BB) 3 questions. She chose Maxwell. Saskia got to listen to the diary room in secret from a hidden monitor in the bedroom toilet!

Strictly dance final

I am very happy that Sadie and Joseph won.



The faves Jodie and Danny were just far too tall and proper for me I like my dancers small and modern with lots of throwing each other about.

Mary in the papers

Mirror

Mary's verdicts on her fellow housemates are:

Makosi: Interesting girl, intelligent but "snake in the grass".

Kemal: An amazing guy with great strength of character.

Anthony: Shallow, shallow, shallow.

Derek: Reminds me of Mutiny On The Bounty. He is simmeringly underhand.

Lesley: Poor Lesley. Lovely girl, interesting. People will judge her for getting her baps out all the time, but there is more to come from her.

Maxwell: I judged him completely wrongly. Really sweet guy. I kind of had those feelings for him and would have loved to have acted on it.

Roberto: I love and hate him at the same time

Vanessa: There is a lot more to come. It's taken a while for her to come out of her shell, but it doesn't mean she's never going to.

Saskia: We clashed personally - I didn't get a chance to get to know her.

Sam: Disliked by almost everyone, but give her a chance. Maybe the reason she walks around almost naked all the time is because she is insecure and has to use sex to win over people.

Craig: There's definitely more to him than meets the eye

Science: Intelligent, mature and very talented.

People

Scary Mary lusted after Maxwell Ward, Science, Roberto Conti - and was ready to get down and dirty in front of millions of viewers.

And she reckons the girls in the house are eyeing each other up for a LESBIAN romp - which she'd have joined in if she hadn't been evicted.

Roberto in NOTW 32 year old man having sex shocker.

A SEXY student has told how she was bedded by Big Brother star Roberto Conte in the back of his rusty van.

And Katie Crawley confirms what the girls in the house suspect—he has an enormous beast under his bonnet!

Counting task

Housemates have been given an odd task by Big Brother.

Each Housemate must visit the Diary Room to see which of them can count the highest. Or indeed, at all.

Mary meets the press

Mary for Roberto shocker.

Would anyone get it on?

If I had stayed, maybe me and Roberto - seriously. It's mad, we had such a hot and cold relationship, my emotions went from extreme hate to extreme love, hot and cold the whole time. He was gutted I left tonight.

I'm very upset

Mary is first out. I thought for once a woman wouldn't go out first but no such luck. The only thing that would cheer me up is Maxwell and Sam being up for eviction next or being made to suffer in some way!

1st Eviction

Mary leaves the House.

Love Island Nonsense

Do HTV think we are all completely stupid? Paul Danan was removed forcibly from CLI last night for drunken brawling. But tonight he's 'being allowed back'
Hello!! think about it. CLI is in direct competition with Big Brother. What on earth could the producers do to stir up the ratings? Lets have a fight.
That'll bring the sappy british public back in their droves.
But of course because it was a set up and we don't want Paul to have damning press, we'll have to let him back on.
Crap. Sorry but I'm not buying it for one second.

Outrage in Norfolk!

It is set to be the most unjust Big Brother eviction of the six series so far - and it features Sheringham hairdresser Craig Coates.

Either Craig, 20, who lives at Cromer, or fellow housemate Mary will be free of the grasp of Big Brother by 10pm tonight. The fact they are up for eviction at all is a serious bone of contention.

Among the disapproving mass is Katie Fuller, Craig's best friend.

She and many others feel the fact that nominations were left in the hands of one other housemate (a complicated story, but fans will understand) was devious. Few would argue. But irrespective of this, Katie, who has known Craig for eight years through school and family links, decided to speak to the EDP because she felt the picture painted so far of her friend was deeply unfair.

"If you watch the live 24-hour-a- day version of the show, you would have a completely different impression of him compared to if you had only seen the edited highlights," said Katie. "Even his promotional interview was obviously heavily edited - you could tell because his outfit kept changing - and that gave a completely false impression of him as well." Katie said the impression created was Craig was "foul mouthed and aggressive".

"But that's not him at all," she said. "He is the life and soul of the party, funny and kind, caring and energetic.

"He does anything for anyone. For instance, before he went away he was working until 10pm or 11pm at night at his hairdresser's in Sheringham, just so he could fit in some extra appointments and not leave anyone in the lurch."

Family and friends had been particularly upset by the interpretation of a comment Craig had made about people who lived in council houses. "What he said and what he was reported to have said were different things," said Katie, who is also close friends with Craig's family, including parents Johnny and Yvette.

"He wasn't talking about everyone who lived in a council house, he was talking about a few people who take advantage.

"He was brought up in a council house, for goodness sake. People have to realise that this is TV and housemates can be portrayed pretty much however the TV people want to portray them.

"To be honest we don't care what the rest of the UK think about him, but his close friends and family feel it is important people locally don't get the wrong impression of what he is like."

Katie, who will travel to the Big Brother eviction event today with members of Craig's family, said she was hoping her friend would remain in the contest for the sake of his future success, but admitted she would like to see him.

"I think he will come out different, perhaps a bit harder, but at the end of the day he is still the same Craig, whether he has been on Big Brother or not," she said.

Eastern Daily News

Vote Craig

Poor Craig but it has to be to keep Mary in. 35p to vote and no text voting what's going on? I only ever vote by text so won't be bothering.

Oh! I've just looked and the text number is now on the site!

text CRAIG to 64404
(35p plus your STD network rate)

Did they forget to put the numbers up at first? So 45p or 47p to vote by text! Hmm just say no.

free live streaming

It's back! probably not for long, tho

edit: 10.25 - it's gone again

Fight night at the love island

Celebrity Love Island is my fave celeb reality show ever. Paul being escorted off by security was fantastic. He is one VERY scary man boy when drunk. I wonder if he will be allowed back? Fran Cosgrove is coming over better in this than IACGMOOH to say the least.

Celebrity love yawn...zzzzzzzzz

I've given up on the CLI. It's more painful than leg wax. But I did have a chuckle at a PopBitch thread today with this rather clever comment

"I expect Paul Danan would benefit if C4 commissioned 'Celebrity Rape Island'. Mr Danan & 8 female celebs on an island. Each day the girls are subjected to a genuinely terrifying phone vote, where the loser is locked up with Paul - dosed-up and crazed on a cocktail of cocaine and viagra. The winner is the one who doesn't prolapse/get killed by him"

What a great idea. Unfortunately we just have to put up with Danan humping Abi Titmuss. Not good TV in any setting.

Trin votes

Well after watching BB most of the day I'm slowly warming to Craig. He's actually quite sensitive for a boy of his age and he was really trying to help Mary today. Mary however is a fruit loop and is dealing with stuff very badly. Making enemys and being stroppy. Whenever she starts a conversation it ends in a row.
I was surprised to see Derrick emotional in the Diary room. He had sussed Makosi's game and went up a notch in my book.
I also found it interesting that Makosi chose Kemal to tell her secret to. Kemal is obv. a very important player. Already he is a party to very important info.
I hate the first few weeks of BB . I always change my mind come the end. We'll see about this lot. But I hope people warm to Derrick. Ignore his past. He's a BB housemate now and it's wrong that we know so much about him.
Damn I hate Mary. OK 35p down the drain as I vote.

thirty five pee!

35 p, that's how much a vote in BB costs this year. Bah, tsk, boo.

eh?

I don't understand. Why did Makosi nominate Mary? When she said she loves her¹? If she wants Craig and Vanessa seperated, then she should've nominated them both dur.
Not that I like Mary, she is a manipulative self-obsessed arrogant witch. All that posing around looking goth with her hair over her face, yuck.

I do think getting Makosi to nom people was an excellent move, tho. It's really messing with their minds, trying to work out who nominated whom, heh. In case you feel the need to vote:

• to evict Craig: call 09016 16 16 02
• to evict Mary: call 09016 16 16 07

Wot no txt vote?


1. have I ever mentioned how much I hate it when people on reality tv shows say they all love each other after knowing each other for 5 minutes?

Nominated

Makosi having succeeded in her task then was asked to nominate the two housemates up for eviction this week. Very annoyingly she nominated Mary and Craig. Will the trend of first out of BB being female continue or will Craig be the chosen one?

Dimbo me

Just like Makosi I had understood her mission this week.

This week the Housemate who receives the most nominations will be immune from the eviction. Your secret mission is to get the most nominations.

I thought it was just her immune if she got the most votes. Trin put me right.

Live show with noms tonight

In a break from the norm and to bring you the latest and greatest news - Davina will be presenting an hour-long, live show, exclusively revealing the Housemates' nominations.

So we have to wait until nine now? Grr and I won't be able to watch live afterwards as it is the last Desperate Housewives. Nothing interferes with my DH obsession.

Do I hear Mary being slagged here? I love Mary. She has only argued with the right people like the 'look we have breasts' women. Sam has annoyed me already today in her bikini even though it is raining. Put some clothes on I think you'd look better covered.

Other news...Kemal has been washing himself standing in the bed indoors. He is also the new fave to win. Yay.

about last night

I don't think I like Mary. She was stirring it with a very very large spoon last night. And as for someone who believes she has been abducted by aliens slagging people off for not being intelligent/intellectual enuff ... bwahahhahaahhah.

Nnnn-nineteen

Lesley's Mam is 35 anyone feeling old? She has 3 younger brothers, poor them at school at the mo. Can you imagine the comments?

Channel 4 didn't show Mary's brilliant rap. Tsk.

Currently arguing...Mary and Saskia.