The Games 06

Rumoured participants in The Games this next year.

Peter Duncan - Blue Peter legend
Goldie - Blue Peter legend
JK from Radio 1 - don't ask me
MC Platinum B - Blazin Squad apparently
Jade Jones - Emma Buntons on off boyfriend
Darren Day - ha ha bad man etc

Michelle Gayle - Eastenders, Grange Hill and Born in the USA
Javine - Didn't get into The Aloud
Ebony - a model or something
Amanda Lamb - Place in the sun and Scottish Widows advert
Bernie Nolan - Brooksde, The Bill and the mighty NOLANS
Carol Decker - Scary woman who I like

My first time with E4 for The Games obviously I can not wait. Think it starts after Celebrity Big Brother. I don't know who Ebony is but the womens line up looks good. Bernie V Carol woo.

Still no Mole

I'm so bored I got all excited about seeing the name Glenn Hugill on the end credits of Deal or No Deal Yes! Glenn Hugill! The presenter of The Mole is a/the producer of DOND and may be the banker (and I just thought it was Noel Edmonds talking to himself).

Seasons Greetings Readers!

Seasons Greetings Reality TV lovers... we have celebrity BB to look forward to in 2006.
I'm a tad dissapointed that so many people bought the Shayne Ward song and made it number one...but I won't let your dreadful misjudgement ruin my festive cheer.
Anyways. May you have an entertaining, enjoyable and very Merry Festive Season from us at Reality Towers.... from Clazza, Jude and Me the delectable Trinity.
ATM Clazza is in a drunken stupor after too much cooking Sherry and Jude is washing up. I'm off for a lovely Bubble Bath and an early night to read Jade Goodys autobiography (right)
Merry Christmas and a Very Happy New Year.

That's his goal.

My local Radio has boycotted the Shayne Ward Xfactor song. 'That's My Goal' GWR reckon it's crap and a disgrace to music.
We at Reality Towers examine the natty little tune that's tipped to top our Christmas Chart this 2005.

"You know where I've come from,
(Indeed Shayne. You come from the most Chav Manchester family ever, and we've been forced, in a journalistic mode, to watch Xfactor until it's bitter end)
You know my story,
(yeah yeah)
You know why I'm standing here, tonight.
(because Westlife have hid their stools?)

Please don't go, don't be in a hurry,
(But, I need to pee)
I'm here to make it clear, make it right.
(Make my pee clear? You've have a job I drank a litre of red wine an hour ago)
Well I know I've acted foolish, but I promise you, no more.
(thank God for that... You're going to give all this singing crap up? Right?)
I've finally found that something, worth reaching for.
(The Buy one get one free Fosters on the top shelf at Co-op?)

I'm not here to say I'm sorry, I'm not here to lie to you.
(You need to apologise to my ears you fool)
I'm here to say I'm ready, that I've finally thought it through.
(I can assure you , you have NOT thought anything through, have you seen Michelle MacAnus lately?)
I'm not here to let your love go, I'm not giving up oh no.
(Oh no, oh no is quite right)
I'm here to win your heart and soul. That's my goal
(Every hole a goal Shayne)

Please don't go, you know that I need you.
(You need us to buy your crap)
I cant breath without you, live without you, be without you.
(A bit bloody extreme but I am rather delectable... True)
Well I no I've acted foolish but I promise you no more, no moore .
(Patrick Moore, or have they got these lyrics wrong?)

Well I wont stop believing that we will be leaving together.
(I won't be leaving anyplace with you. Your family look like the Manchester Mafia)
So when I say I love u I mean it for ever and ever, ever and ever.
(For ever ever ever ever? You pinched that from Miss Jackson)

I'm not here to say I'm sorry, I'm not here to say I'm sorry, I'm not here to lie to you.
I'm here to say I'm ready, that I've finally thought it through.
I'm not here to let your love go , I'm not giving up oh nooo
I'm here to win your heart and soul.
Yes I'm here to win your heart and soul.
That's my goal."
(My heart isn't some raffle prize. Damn, what awful lyrics)

So, my final words on this atrocity they call a CD? a catchy little tune. Hanging on the shirt tails of a popular reality TV show.
He'll need to do a lot more than this to be a stayer.
Like maybe? Come out as being Gay or bash a toilet stall worker and nick her lollypop? Probably best not to shag Jodie Marsh though.

Dummies

OH DEAR GOOD GOD! I can't get the horror out of my head. DANCING WITH DUMMIES? Hmm a bad idea. I wanted Colin to win but when I saw the dummies I changed my mind. What was Erin thinking of?

COLIN and ERIN danced their Freestyle routine to You're Easy To Dance With. "It was good fun, but I was expecting a bit more of a performance," said Len. "I thought it belonged to an end of pier summer show," said Bruno. "I last saw this twenty years ago in Vegas," said a disappointed Arlene.

Bad bad BAD dummies. So Darren and the lovely Lilia won. I love Lilia. Now I have the US V UK show next week to look forward to, the US ones (Rachel Hunter and Evander Holyfield) aren't the winners though (they didn't even come top 3 in the US version) so they won't win. Then in January the US one starts again. Woo hoo. Ooh and American Idol won't be far behind!

That's my goooooooooal! I changed my mind during X Factor as well. Journey South weren't very good I blame Simon for not letting Carl play the piano, he needs a prop like a guitar or piano as that is what he is used to standing on stage with DUH. I thought Shayne was best on the night, Andy was just boring, Simon shouldn't of mentioned Andy's recently deceased Mam he was holding it together until then. God Shayne's family are rough, they could live in my street they're so rough. Bless. I like the single it's so crap.

Woo Yawn... yeah yeah

Shayne won. I actually felt Andy was the better performer and the nicer man. Bloody heck, wasn't Kate Thornton all over Shayne? I thought she was going to give him a BJ there and then on stage.
The song is crap... Really crap.
Most poignant moment was Andy's little boy sobbing because his dad didn't win.
So, another one to add to the reject pile... Steve Brocklepot, Michelle McMoron, etc etc etc.
Edit* oh yes. Kate to Andy. "You might be a bin man Andy but you aren't Rubbish", after he just lost to the guy with the testicles missing (high voice)
Nice Kate.

Zzzz factor

Don't Carl and Andy from Journey South remind you of Miss Piggy and Animal from The muppets?
All a bit insipid.
We're on the Christmassy bit now. I hate all the songs. The girls got excited to see Shayne at The Trafford Centre earlier.
I'm not sure having Westlife singing in the background did a lot for Shayne's cause in my mind.
Twats.

Who wins? Who cares?

I'm not sure if I care but Zoe and Shayne both winning their shows would annoy me. With scrictly come dancing I'm still torn between Colin (fave celeb) and Erin or Darren and Lilia (fave pro) and on the x factor I don't think it really matter who wins as we saw last year with the runners up being the success story (2nd album in at no 1 the other week). Shayne and Andy have been the faves all the way through so I am hoping for Journey South just for the hell of it.

Songs tonight unless they change them!

Andy
Me and Mrs Jones ~ bad
Oh Holy Night ~ like The McManus won pop idol with this
When a man loves a woman ~ hate hate hate this song

Shayne
If you're not the one ~ boring
When a child is born ~ oh god
Over the rainbow ~ ooh like

JS
Let It Be ~ blah
Happy Xmas (War is Over) ~ hate
Don't let the sun go down on me ~ like

Oh and not forgetting the traditional winners song I presume they will all be doing. Now just have to decide in which order to watch both shows tonight. ARGH.

Spaced

God, Space Cadets is so boring it was ok until they went into 'space' then it went a bit dreary and live streaming of people asleep is always a joy. I do like Charlie the actor a lot though. Today they are going to do the big reveal to the ones who didn't get chosen, we are meant to believe they are all still at space base hardly believable. I'm sure this was all filmed months ago so why say it is live all the time. I just don't know why they bother with these new shows when they could just do The Mole or Survivor or even The Murder Game, shows with fans wondering why they are never making any new ones.

reality tv betting scam?

From C4 news:

Reality TV shows like the X Factor, Strictly Come Dancing Big Brother and I'm A Celebrity appear to have been the targets of a massive betting scam.

Online bookie Betfair became suspicious when large amounts of money were placed immediately before results were announced on the X Factor.

According to reports, fraudsters were tipped off by a telecoms worker who had access to the results of viewers' polls before they were announced on air.

George? Derek? Yes please!

Boy George set for Celebrity Big Brother?

Boy George and Anna Nicole Smith are the latest stars to have reportedly signed up for the next series of the reality show.

Channel 4 bosses have also lined up comics Johnny Vegas and Jimmy Tarbuck, according to the Sun.

Celebrity BB begins in January and will also feature Most Haunted's Derek Acorah and TV diet doctor Gillian McKeith.

I find it hard to believe Boy George would go on. The thought of him and 'Dr' Gillian together is a good one. Please let Derek Acorah be on PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.

that's just mean!

I didn't think it could be done but at last, a reality tv show goes just too far even for me.

I caught 2 mins of Space Cadets tonight, when the not-spacemen/women thought they were seeing the Earth from space. Those people were really moved. Seeing the Earth from space would be one of the most stunning moments of anyone's life. But in a few days they're going to have that taken away from them, and everyone going ho ho ho it was all a joke how funny. This is Bad and I don't like it.

Yeah so they're all probably reality tv wannabes who deserve what they get, but it still feels Wrong.

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JUST IN! *LAUNCH SHOW SPECIAL* If you didn't manage to get your hands on BB6 tickets, don't worry because Celebrity Big Bro returns this January '06! This is your exclusive invite to be right in the heart of the LAUNCH SHOW LIVE on Channel 4! BOOK NOW!

Woo etc. Sorry, WOO ETC! 5th or 6th then make your mind up.

Ban This Evil Filth!

Here I am, innocently channel hopping after the end of Bring Back The Christmas Number One! when I happen upon the repeat of X Factor Academy Idol on ITV2, with Journey South massacring, murdering, mangling and defiling Let It Be. The horror. It will take quantities of Aretha¹ and Jameson's to stop me having nightmares.


1. Yes I do know it's a Beatles song but I adore Aretha

4 Left... X-factor draws to a close....

4 acts left. Andy the bald nice crooner, Shayne the wanna-be Justin Timberlake, Journey South who have gone distinctly North and Brenda the bouncy Big Lungs.
Ok we had Andy. Not sure about the song. "Everything I do" it was ok. He was obviously nervous, maybe a tad lack lustre. I liked him dragging his kids out... But it made me laugh because their faces said "Piss off dad, let us go back and get out ipod headphones on... We were listening to McFly"
Journey South. Good choice of song. Rod Stewart suits their voices and harmonies. But why do they never sing the whole song? That one has a lot more to it. FFS.
Brenda. 'Respect' I do wish someone would teach them to keep the microphone to their mouths and not have this half a word jobbie. Tsk, pushing members of the public won't get you votes Brenda. Not my fav song of hers though. I think Simon wishes she was his.....
Shayne. I don't like this guy but he has thrown out a couple of gems in the competition. JT he is not though.
Louis quote

"I don't think any of us realise how Big Shayne can be"

Oooerr Louis.
What a dull song... Was that some insipid Westlife crappy crapness?
edit* My mate rang me during the last 4 songs.. calamity. How devastated was I to miss them (not). Danielle aged 11yrs. Bristols greatest Critic says they were all 'Just Lush'
Ah well, have to take your word for it won't we Danz?


OMG Brenda out? It has to be the woman factor doesn't it? though I guess they voted for Bloody Michelle Mcmanus.
Brenda wasn't humble enough. She was too full of self crap and confidence. The British public like the humble disadvantaged one with the disability. They feel they've voted for something 'worthy' then.
Hey don't fret Brenda... the winner never gets the girl anyways.

Dancing copy cats

I have been feasting on the last series of Dance With The Stars the US remake of my beloved Strictly Come Dancing, it is all exactly the same, the theme, the set, Len and Bruno. I thought Rachel Hunter won but the last one I saw she got knocked out. The next series is soon, contestants are ready to rumble so there is my new year sorted.

It's me! I am the one watching Space Cadets. They are all idiots especially Paul. One of the actors has left he got poorly sick. Good.

What's next?

Well there is that channel 4 programme with the horrible Johnny Vaughn about people thinking they are in space or something and then there are all these! I love that site. There is also this which I want tickets to.

The full line up of contestants is: EastEnders’ Nicholas Bailey (Dr Antony Trueman) and Michael Greco (Beppe di Marco); Emmerdale stars Roxanne Pallett (Jo Stiles), Lucy Pargeter (Chastity Dingle) and Sammy Winward (Katie Sugden), HollyoaksÂ’ Lee Otway (Bombhead) and Coronation Street Shobna Gulati (Sunita Alahan), Wendi Peters (Cilla Battersby-Brown), Andy Whyment (Kirk Sutherland) and Richard Fleeshman (Craig Harris).

Craig to win he was good on stars in their eyes and he is the son of Jackie from Brookside so I look forward to seeing her in the audience. No hang about Kirk and Cilla are on it, I'm torn now.

my blood ran cold

I did want Carol to win, in a 'best of the rest' kind of way. But when A&D said "Queen Thatcher", I got scared and had to hide behind the settee.

YAY!

Thatch wins! Everyone did nasty trials in the last day (snakes, rats and eating icky things). Great end to IACGMOOH! Especially the result, ha.

Vote Thatch

 

Even though she did date Jonathan Aitken. Eww. It was a long, long time ago.

When she was glam.

[insert deity of choice] moves in mysterious ways

Jimmy out? Sheree and Sid in the final? I changed my mind, there ain't no gawd.

edit: on the up-side, there's some good choons goin' down in the jungle tonight. The White Stripes and The Undertones? Producers, you are spoiling us

I've seen the light

As I drove up the M6 today, a vision arose before me and Chorley FM came in my ears saying "Verily, support Jimmy to win IAC and the lord may forgive you for your Osmond Undies Obsession". Can't argue with that. Also can't say I like any of the others any better. I'm not buying Sheree's shrieky girlie thang, nor her oh-so-ladylike-I-never-fart-or-wee crap. I'm not much more of a fan of Thatch's Game Old Bird^TM routine, either, and Sid is just plain bobbins. So, support Jimmy and be saved. Or get two wives. (Perhaps Bobby was a Mormon and all his wives are called Von, that's why he kept going Von Von Von Von, he didn't want to leave anyone out).

I'm a strictly x factor dancing

Patsy Palmer is out of strictly come dancing. It was either her or chef James and judge Arlene was right too many people fancy James and he got to stay. So just Zoe Ball left from the women. I'm torn between Colin Jackson and Darren Gough to win. I like Colin but my fave proper dancer left is Lilia and she is with Darren.

Chico gone. At last. I do like him but he can't really sing, well not as good as the others. Oh well he gave us annoying kids on stage and indecent pics so that was fun. Journey South had bad songs to sing but not as bad as Andys he was so rubbish on his first song and the 2nd one was 'let's pretend as he is 40 he has to sing songs from one billion years ago' again. Please give him something modern he is 40 not 140. I hate Andy going on about 'the fans' you could be forgotten about in a week so stop it.

IACGMOOH Bobby gone. Good. Next Sheree and Sid please (unlikely but I can hope). Sheree going on at Carol farting was ridiculous. Everyone does it, get over it. They are eating beans every day!

yes it's the double

Chico and Bobby gone. Hallelujah!!
FFS don't go running to the shops to buy 'It's Chico Time Again'
Yipppeeeeeeeeeee Come get me Santa.

xfactor celebrity overdose

Duhduh dum dum dum
Bobby Ball bites the dust
duhduh dum dum dum dum
Bobby Ball bites the dust

Chico next and Me and Judeee will be well happy.

Celeb was good. The Thatch is a legend. I felt sorry for those rats. Sid is cool. Sheree is such an embarrasement to poor Harry (nice smooth bum and stretch marks) she makes me laugh. Jimmy is just adorable. If he tours again I'd love to go and throw me knickers at him.

X factor... Andy. Nervous. All samey now. 1st Song horrific. I do like him though.
Shayne...I hate him. A bad Jimmy Sommerville.
Brenda. Good Voice but crikey one for the Pensioner Cd buying brigade.
Chico... Horrendous tacky and talentless.
Journey Soth... Go North young men. I hate you. You are not star material.
Winner Brenda. Yawn.

Puke

OMG What the feck is that Chico routine all about? He just tipped Sharon's water over his own head, ripped off his shirt and exercised his pecs to the music.
VOMIT inducing material indeed.
Yeuk..... I feel dirty now.

ABB

Anyone
But
Bobby

I daren't look at the odds, in case he's in with chance. Send him home to Von now!