you can call me [Sir] Al

[transcription of rioja-fuelled jottings]

So, The Apprentice Final. Tim -v- Saira. The task: 3 days to create an 'event' on a boat on the Thames. And they got to chose 3 of the failed apprentices to join their team. Gotta big up Saira for chosing Paul even tho they've had the odd 'full and frank exchange of views' in the past. And all the fans of Miriam's tits will have been happy she made a come back on Tim's team.

Saira fan that I am, I have to admit that she was possibly a little over-obsessed with the bottom line on this task. Yes she got stuff on the cheap but where was the flair? They were meant to have a SoCal/Thelma & Louise/general kind of desert outlaw thang going down, cos of the free booze sponsors. Two words: fire eaters. Ten a penny in Lunnun Town, and very Burning Man.

Tim. FFS. After the Stilton incident, who the feck would put The Lovely Miriam^TM in charge of buying the champers?

Inspite of which, Tim won. As predicted. Not a surprise. Tim was more apprentice material, more mouldable and as Mr Gorgeous Pixie Grrrl observed, sponge like. But bless cos Mrs Tim and Tim's bay-beeee were all proud of him. Awww.

Adele. Bwaahhahahahhahahah. And Miriam. And others. On working in all women teams. Perhaps a little too used to working the 'brains in keks' edge?

Apprentice 2: Bring It On! Tho I draw the line at having the anti-chr!st on my wireless of tomorrow morning just to hear the thoughts of Sir A. Even us reality tv hoors have standards.