Vote Matt

Jason, Myleene and Matt left. I'm afraid (and surprised) I now like a (thankfully ex) member of Busted. How did that happen? I wouldn't mind Myleene winning but VOTE MATT...

Rumours

First Adam Ant is rumoured for Celeb Big Brother (well he has got a book out) and now... Marc Almond... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO don't do it Marc. I'd have to watch 24 hours a day and tape it all. I couldn't cope. I'm sure they are just plucking 80's icons out of a hat now. It will not happen. It must not happen. Any other 80's type is free to make a fool of themselves but not Marc.

IAC...

When I saw they had a spelling test on IACGMOOH I said that they'll be getting out the scales next as they do both on Love Island (R.I.P) and they did!

I'm a bit bored of IAC too but the task yesterday was good. I'm sick of David Guest being a sexist git and all the Jan 'omg she's old but she said she'd take her clothes off omg ha ha ha ha' on all of the IAC programes. It is tedious.

bored now

Is it just me or has IAC gone all dull now? maybe I am not paying enough attention (eg turned over to watch Gordo swearing at people last night) but then why am I not paying attention? because it's dull. Go on Jason, go ape with a machete. Still at least Aung San Suu Kyi Malandra got evicted last night hah.

the struggle is her life

Malandra to Deano, on entering 'The Jungle Pit':- "makes you think about Nelson Mandela and people like that doesn't it". She should've been evicted last night just for that.

Boooooooooooooo

Eton Road out. I'm sure last week they said there was no judges vote this week. FIX! Good to see smug boring Ben in the bottom two. HA HA! That lion king song is a boring song they should of done another Abba song, sparkly is the way forward for Eton Road. I expect their recording career (I will itune their first single that'll make up for my non voting) to go the Girls Aloud road as in one good song then one boring cover.

Over on Strictly, Brendan and Clare went. I missed most of their dance as I was busy singing along to the song they were dancing to... I love to love Tina Charles good choice. I think Len needs to go, his grumpy old man with double-entendres act is getting boring. Craig and Arlene are still my fave judges and it annoys me when Len interrupts. I loved the male professionals dancing with The Aloud and the shot of Darren with glasses on. Me like! Strictly is mostly about stalking Darren and Lilia to me.

IACGMOOH - Faith out. I'm very glad she's gone out before Jan.

Only Gay In The Camp Evicted

Hurrah, I read in the papers that Scott got evicted last night. Good riddance to bad rubbish hah.

about last night

Missed tonight's show (bloody Life getting in the way) but Thursday night's rocked. Did I not like Scott's friend on the ITV2 show last night. What did he think about Scott being in the bottom 2? "well it would've been the first time I've known him to be on the bottom." And what of Scott's claustrophobia? "It doesn't affect him in cubicles". Ick.

Methinks Scott and his maters belong to the nasty misogynistic branch of gayness, and his friend is just vile. Scott's upset at the return of the women to camp was not nice either. Bad Man.

Meanwhile David Gest is genius. Quite clearly Not A Gay, he put on a concert party in the jungle. And let Jan sing. Ho ho ho.

Jason is fascinating me most, tho. He seems to be going into some kind of reverie. I fully expect him to terminate with extreme prejudice the nexxt person to sing excerpts from 'Joseph', then lope off into the jungle and disappear, living on raw bush tucker and carrying out guerilla attacks on future IAC camps, eventually being persuaded to surrender in 30 years time.

Devastated

The evil itv have scrapped Love Island.

The second series was hit by a series of departures and a fight between former Hollyoaks star Lee Otway and dancer Brendan Cole.

Yes that was good. I liked that. What's not to like about that?

Well done Phina

For all sorts of reasons but for being responsible for a useless boy man leaving first especially.

Shame it wasn't Matt but Toby was a bit rubbish anyway (as in wasn't featured much). I was slightly surprised Scott wasn't in the bottom two, my faith in the voting public has been restored as I thought they'd kick the troublemakers out. I thought they only had fireworks etc for the winner? It's a bit much for the first LOSER out.

I see at digi spy at least one person was confused if the voting was to stay or go... I didn't think that was stated that clearly and that the eviction was that night. Clear as mud itv.

I hope Phina stays tonight she must get more votes than Malandra surely? It just seems 100% improved when they are actually kicking people out, like the show has properly started. Even the itv2 show was ok!

Tonight's trial is being done (I think) by Jason, Matt and Malandra.

I hope the girls women win immunity

The boys men are obviously too stupid to cope in a fake jungle as seen by their celebrity chest answers two days running. My favourite thing of the last celebrity chests have been the 'WHOOOOO?' remarks when they have seen the little pics of celebs that come with the chests (Jeff 'I am rubbish' Brazier and Torvill and Dean in this case).

I need Phina to stay in please.

I see Kelly is still on itv2... hmph. Itv2 should be abolished I've decided (except when it shows American Idol oh and the Xtra Factor maybe).

blog your way into the BB house

You'll soon be able to audition for Big Brother without leaving your bedroom, as C4 make e4.com into the new myspace. And the rest of us can point, laff and vote (clicking the vote button will presumably cost 50p plus standard network rate)

one week in

I have to admit to really loving this series of I'm A Celeb. Putting David Gest in there was pure genius and the mix of celebs is just right. Jan's snake trial last night was really good. Watching her face her fears with Jason (love him) giving her helpful cheerful encouragement "He's only coming to say hello!" was good TV. And the camp's reaction to her constantly going on about it was funny.... Well, she does go on and on and on......
But why are the public voting for her all the time. I want to see Matt and Toby and Myleene do something. Jan is not going to cope with those evil looking ostriches.
Wonder if the bug eating trial is happening this time. I hate it and personally (being a virtual vegetarian) think it's cruel. I am not particularly liking or gelling with Faith (she's dull) Phina (she's a bitch) and Lauren is okish but she really thinks she's all that and more.
No favs to win ATM . No one stands out yet. Hope it's not a one horse race though and the teeny voters haven't got their fingers twitching on Matt (though I like him)

public service blogging

I'm glad to see our blog is helping googlers find the answers to some of life's eternal questions eg why Mark not Brendan on ITV2? where is brendan burns itv2? who is david guest married to? and who sang too many broken hearts?. Always happy to be of service - as our mission statement says, we watch so you don't have to.

I'm a Survivor get me out of here (and into another camp)

IAC morphs into Sleb Survivor as the slebs are split into two camps tonight; the camps will compete against each other for food and immunity from eviction.

a woman after our own heart

Kathryn Flett, The Observer's tv reviewer, she loves the jungle too.

Perhaps it's the cheque, but the more you think about it the more seductive it all sounds ... Australia in November, a few days in the Versace Hotel, a chance to get back on the telly without having to wear spangly shoulder pads ... whatever. So off you go to take your place alongside the freaks and the has-beens, the sweethearts and the wannabes. And within two or three days of reappearing on our screens, what happens? The entire nation loathes you!

Hats off to Jan - that takes some doing.
....
what with Jason Donovan and (the charming, likeable, modest, hopelessly insecure) David Gest as new best friends, numerous sightings of Myleene Klass in a bikini (allegedly of interest to some) and Thursday night's semi-heroic (we take our 'heroes' where we find them these days) entrance of Dean Gaffney into the jungle, after surviving the most vile bushtucker trial yet devised, this is shaping up to be the finest I'm a Celebrity ... yet. Isn't telly great!

headline of the week

well done Sunday Mail subs with I'M A CELEB GET IT OUT OF REAR

CELEB star Jason Donovan suffered a jungle trial of his own yesterday - when a cockroach crawled up his bum.

Doctors rushed into camp with tweezers to help the ex-Neighbours actor after he failed to dislodge the bug.

All the news!

First, Kelly's out

Kelly Osbourne is to be axed from ITV2's I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here Now! spin-off show.

The 22-year-old has apparently failed to impress producers with her diva-like demands on set and "wooden" on-screen performance.

The news comes just days after comic Brendan Burns was ditched by bosses.

I read (didn't see it last night) Jeff Brazier is the new emergency itv2 co presenter in Oz. Is that it? Jeff Brazier on his own now? I'm loving all this swapping presenters itv2 malarky it's more entertaining than any of the show.

Bottom two traumas

FFS Eton Road and Robert in the bottom two on the X Factor what a bizarro world it is with the Maccy D's and Ray having people actually spend money to vote for them to stay in. I'm glad Eton Road got to stay but poor Robert. I'm still hoping for an actual Eton Road career outside of the X Factor. Anthony is in the notw in a story which explains the extreme thinness of the auditions and bootcamp stages.

Darren Bennett (and Emma) in the bottom two on SCD I think the voters must be sick of some of the judges Spice worship. Schmeichel (and Erin) out, I liked the shot of his son last week in pain at his Dad's dancing.

In IACGMOOH news Jan is in a tabloid wife swap shocker!!!!!!!! Ahem. In the sunday mirror.

Celebrity star Jan Leeming ditched her husband to wed a Red Arrows flying ace in a real-life wife-swap.

In a bizarre twist, the husband she walked out on then married the RAF pilot’s wife.

In an exclusive interview, he said: “I wasn’t exactly a happy bunny.

That's not bizarre. I repeat, people voting for the Macs and Ray in X Factor is bizarre...

I do watch some rubbish genius shows

Including watching Steve Strange breaking the world record for the number of heads shaved in an hour. I may have watched most of the hour as well...

I'm so annoyed at channel 4 moving Unanimous without informing me. Grrrrrrr. I ended up recording an hour of The Simpsons instead. Hmph!

Never mind Eton Rd are doing Scissor Sisters tonight. Woo hoo! I'm easily pleased.

I hope the rumours of Paula Hamilton (ex model and Britain's Next Top Model bitch judge) on IACGMOOH are true. They probably aren't but I can hope. When is this second camp happening anyway?

you are live on teevee, please do not sing

Poor Jan must've failed to make the short list for "the two of us" and "sleb fame academy". No wonder with her voice but she doesn't need to inflict it on us from the jungle. and Bad David for encouraging her.

Highlights of the past 24 hours

Obviously Dean Gaffney but also

Tandy Andy Anderson's annoyed face when Marianne went out of MMAS.

Luke whooping when Marianne went out of MMAS (yes you're glad to be still there but you could look a bit sad at your 'girlfriend' going.

Tandy Andy Anderson's glee when Jen went out.

Lee Stafford's reaction on Celebrity Scissorhands when Michele Gayle said she and Steve Strange used to date...

Lee Stafford on CS claiming he was no way gay by saying he didn't understand how a man could prefer a woman... !!!!

Steve Strange on CS cutting a woman's hair by about 3 feet more than she wanted.

The beauty 'guru' woman on CS vomiting after seeing some poor woman's feet then drama queening and insisting she couldn't carry on.

I'm going to miss Steve Strange on my telly.

And my fave thing of the past day

Mark Durden Smith returning to IACGMOOH on itv2 'WTF?!' Was my reaction then cheering and whooping.

HOST Brendan Burns has been dumped by bosses who feared his behind-the-scenes ITV2 show was struggling.

Former presenter Mark Durden-Smith has been called back to save the day. An insider said: "Bosses begged Mark to come back. Everyone's wishing they'd never got rid of him."

I was glad the itv2 show was changing as last year it was a bit rubbish (but then Durdo was away waiting for his twins to be born) but getting rid of Durdo seemed wrong and I am v glad he's back.

Now we just need Kelly Osbourne to leave.

let's twist again

Dean Gaffney. Best bushtucker trial ever (best I've watched this series anyways). Twist it Dean twist it! Him joining the cast is a very promising development.

Over on 5, what a travesty was the finale of MMAS. Albert my @arse. How could the only man who was not plug ugly (ie Luke) get defeated by Mr Pretty Vacant? And I know Jude disagrees with me but for Jen to come above Marianne and Sunnait also a travesty. I did like how when all the beaten ones came back for a line up, hardly any of them could raise more than a bitter scowl. Except Waz was jumping about and whooping it up like a BigBrother contestant. Twunt. Also his top was very very bad.

MMAS Scheduling Alert

OMG I nearly missed the finale of MMAS! Haven't watched for a few days and assumed the finale was on Friday but no, tis tonight. Make a note, boys and girls, tonight at 8.30 on 5. Be there (or be watching IAC. Or be at pilates. What-evva).

that's not a snake David

I agree with Jude. Who'd have thought the entertainment last night would be David Gest? Crikey this has a twang of Ron Jeremy in The Farm.
He's just so funny. He doesn't even have to try. How about the line "I used to go to Michael Jackson's House all the time and play with all the various snakes"
Hmmm
The gay designer Scott is going to be one to watch. Yesterday his "every man for himself" attitude at wanting to leave David and that Phina creature (who is she?) in the water was brilliant.
I can't wait for him to do a trial. They won't eat a thing that night.
I'm not liking Faith or Phina the rest can stay.

David to win! Maybe...

Who'd of thought David Gest would be the normal one? Or is that just me? I don't quite understand 'She's got her head in her vagina' (or some variation of that) but it was an interesting first programme quote!

Other good DG things include calling Lauren Booth 'Cherie' at all times. I like Lauren Booth being saved from a spider by Myleene Klass but that hasn't happened yet on the main bit as I have a time travel machine it was on the teatime extra programme.

The new ITV2 show is quite rubbish. But it had some people from Big Brother's Big Mouth on it which was amusing. Don't just rip off another programme, steal the people off it as well!

ready, steady, jungle

All systems go at 9pm tonight for the latest IACGMOOH. I would normally celebrate with cava & nuts but having discovered I'm heavier than Mrs Gest, I will be sticking to green tea and snackajacks.

How very dare they

Call Brendan a Z lister.

HAS Abi Tit - muss lost her mind? The nurse-turned-wannabe actress pulled out of I'm A Celebrity days before she was due to jet to Australia...after becoming besotted with Come Dancing star Brendan Cole.

I wished she was on IACGMOOH I'm not loving the list that are on and I don't expect David Gest to last very long... I'm not sure I want to see him anyway. I don't like Matt Willis either and I will not change my mind (I might).

On to the weekend...

The wrong Ray went out of reality tv land. Ray SCD not Ray XF. Nikitti's out of X Factor even though people had a chance to kick out annoying Ray. Idiots. I don't believe for a second Simon Cowell was ever going to kick out Ray. The SCD Ray going I blame entirely on reports he is dating Elle McPherson, I'm not voting for someone who's dating a supermodel. Ok I'm not voting at all but especially not for that.

Jen is still in make me a supermodel HA HA HA.

The High Court Judge's Guide to the new IACGMOOH cast

from left to right¹

Matt Willis
was in popular beat combo Busted, now 'pursuing a solo career' hem hem. Proved his sleb credentials by going to the Priory (then left two weeks later after deciding he didn't really have a drink problem after all). Official website borken but he is so down with the kids his record company have made a myspace page for him

Phina Oruche
actress off “Footballers' Wives”, Wikipedia doesn't know about her. Very bonny lass but probably wants to lay off the lipgloss a bit in the jungle.





David Gest
“yeaaah, David”, this year's Jackie
Was married to Liza Minelli, had the worst plastic surgeon ever. TV bods worried his face might melt in da jungle.





Lauren Booth
daughter of randy scouse git, half sister of Cherie, journo & pro-celebrity smoker. This year's Carol Thatcher








Toby Anstis
aka “the Tobester” (ick) - kids' TV presenter & radio dj & dance sensation








Faith Brown
Actress & comedienne, used to appear in tv variety shows before they were abolished, once had her own chat show.













Scott Henshall
fashion designer who not even Wikipedia has heard of, designed the most expensive dress in the world











Myleene Klass
was in Popstars band Hear'say, then reinvented herself as a classical babe. Does the Classic FM breakfast show on Sunday, so the classic fm crew will be biggin her up in da jungle innit. Gets my vote if she plays some nice Chopin nocturnes on the jungle piano.





Jason Donovan
OK everyone knows who he is – Scott in Neighbours, sang “Too many broken hearts”, not a gay, Joseph.















Jan Leeming
BBC newsreader, another one you should've heard of, this year's Jenny Bond


















1. I may have got Matt & Toby the wrong way round but I'm sure Jude will be along to get things right, she have her finger on da pulse and I don't

He's bringing SexyBack to the jungle

After his dancing on the all star talent show to SexyBack quite possibly my favourite thing for many months (well on channel 5 anyway) I may have to support Toby Anstis on IACGMOOH. I hope for much dancing in the jungle.

line up announced

high court judge's guide to follow ...

I'm a sleb contestant rumours part 1

Contestants rumoured to be ...

• David Guest tho 'TV bosses' are worried about his face melting, same report has Jason "not a gay" Donovan blimey, Myleene Klass & Louise Rednapp.
• Malcom Maclaren to be latest old punk to sell out, but he's 'outraged' Myleen might be getting paid more than him
• Abi Titmus "has even pledged to strip off to spice up the show" yawn
• "A trio of ex-boyband members are battling it out for a place"
• Cherie Blair's sister, Chris "Brian Tildsley" Quenten and Paula Wilson, with this year's game old bird to be Jan Leeming.

And in presenter news, Kelly is the new Tara maybe

Over to "Make me a supermodel" .... let's not get things mixed up. Jan should go cos she's a manipulative little stirrer not because she's 'fat' shock horror a size 12 omg that's so vile etc bah.

Monday

I'm a celeb deffo on Monday it's in the radio times and everything so it must be true.

Celebrity Scissorhands live streaming still good. H from Steps was being mean to Michelle from the Apprentice which is good as she was being a bossy cow to Steve Strange. I think H from Steps was only joking though. Shame.

I think Celebrity Scissorhands works best recorded and cutting out the Alex Zane bits.

Dear BBC

Well done on the swearing on the Celebrity Scissorhands live daytime feed it's just like having Big Brother back. So far today Rowetta has given a woman a mans haircut, some naked bloke had his haircut and an annoying Scouse man was complaining about his. The first show with Alex Zane was pretty rubbish but I like the live streaming (press red and all that and it's on the net I think).

Elsewhere in busy busy reality land

Jen survived in the increasingly annoying Make Me A Supermodel. ARGH that Waz I swear he is worse than Sezer.

Ashley went out of the X Factor (the curse of Rosie Ribbons and winner takes it all).

Anton (and Jan) went from Strictly Come Dancing. Poor Anton.

I'm a celebrity ALERT

The teaser ads are on ITV1.

It may start Monday 13th November.

TPT and Mark Duerden Smith/that bloke who was on it last year have been dropped in favour of what sounds like a Big Brother's Big Mouth type show on ITV2. Actually as much as I love MDS and TPT the ITV2 show was due an axe last year let alone this one.

I hope Jasmine 'Nightmare' Lennard and Rachel 'Munter' Hunter (Jasmine's words not mine) are both on I think they have both been rumoured.