The Julien & Pete show (please?)

Julien Macdonald wasn't judging on Project Catwalk this week, instead he breeze in, verbally ripped all their designs apart and then bitched about them all to their faces. I demand to have a show all about Julien making Pete Burns' wedding dress. Possibly with Gordon Ramsey doing the cooking.

Oh and Marianne left the catwalk this week. They were supposed to design uniforms for chamber maids, but they all are pretty much incapabable of imagining clothes for normal shaped women to do normal things in. And for wannabe fashionistas, they dress really badly. I love this show cos I get to dislike everyone in it hahahahaha.

AI the long drawn out results

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Oh just say who has gone for fecks sake. ITV2 showing American Idol as a handy 4 HOUR PLUS show this week. I think I will have aged ten years before they get to the final.

GONE Becki
GONE Bobby
GONE Stevie
GONE Patrick how annoying David should have gone

Quick It Takes Two ness -

Gabi Roslin and Martin Fry going spoiled the whole show for me. I wanted more Martin. Anyway the programme is rubbish.

Quick Dancing On Ice - John Barrowman leaving weeeeeeeeeeeeks ago again spoiled the whole damn thing. Boo.

Young people a couple shocker!

Kemal and Kinga had been secretly dating for four months sez the News Of the World.

American Idol a drunk review

My AI review whilst drinking vodka.

Last 12 girls

Mandisa - big good
Kellie Pickler - dad in jail good bit off
Becki - twin long dark hair good bit off
Ayla Brown - basketball tall rich family very musicals mariah
Paris Bennett - I love
Stevie Scott - opera rubbish
Brenna Gethers - diiiiiiiiiiiiiva dodgy then got better
Heather Cox - blonde no good boring
Melissa McGee - good ish bit out of tune boring song no like
Lisa Tucker - good whitney bit off key quite a bit off key
Kinnik Sky - horrible song good but screechy
Katharine McPhee - gooooooooooood just good

Last 12 boys

Patrick - sunglasses good ish but boring
David - sang crazy little thing called love hideous creepy
Bucky Covington - rough grunge wannabe but best name ever!
Will Makar - OC lookylikey not that good bit lanky wrong song
Sway - ill advised hat not that good
Chris - bald metal beard bloke v good sang dead or alive new Bo?
Kevin - looks 12 year old musical quite good well good but young and geeky
Gedeon - is 17 looks 27 fairly good energetic
Elliott - rough Shayne Ward lookylikey ooh good nice voice Simon sez maybe best AI male ever
Bobby - sang copacobana! as you'd expect
Ace - young 'chris in the morning' looklikey good but new Constantine (cute but turned out to be rubbish) or Bo (dead dead good)? that is the question
Taylor - the grey horror he's 29 but looks 49 did good blah ick

Rather depressingly the odd grey haired bloke was good. Blah. How dare he!

Who do you think you are kidding Mr Sugar?

It's not about a job it's all about being on teeeee veeeeeeeeee.

Poor Ben he just wasn't made for these times for The Apprentice. I felt sorry for him until he made a couple of gay comments at Syed on the BBC3 show, after that I thought he was a prat. 'The A Team' that was hilarious. The A Team is a real thing to lead your life by for Syed.

I hated the whole thing the women did they might as well of hit some of the people over the head and just stole the stuff. 'Hello we're a big gang and we are going to be IN YOUR FACE until you give us FREE STUFF'. Next task they'll probably be happy slapping.

it's all going Apprentice crayzee!

Blimey, BBC has got Apprentice-mania. There's the main show, the "You're Fired" spin off show (Adrian Chiles hurrah Saira hurrah hurrah yay). There's extra stuff on the web (plus you can watch episodes again). Lovin' it!

Project idol boring job

I love Project Catwalk I didn't know it was on freeview but when Claz mentioned it I found it. I love the mumbly bloke who always has his hand on his face and the Scouse woman. I hate Liz Hurley. Stupid beeeeeeeeeeeeeech.

Apprentice tonight I am looking forward to that. I don't care who wins the boring stupid job at the end it's borrrrrrrrring.

American Idol - THAT GREY BLOKE! I will never understand the appeal of THAT GREY BLOKE!

Back to the curling...sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

Chantelle Gets TV Show

Ananova - Chantelle Gets TV Show

just saw trailer for it. Chantelle saying "oh my god" over and over. And over. I'm so over Chantelle saying things over and over.

A show insider told The Sun: "We're going to see if Chantelle can really launch a pop career - maybe with her fake band, Kandyfloss.

"We're also going to follow her as she's launched on London's top nightspots.

"Can she pull a footballer, or will she end up with BB housemate Preston?"

The show starts on E4 on 22 February at 10.30pm.

Nice to see ananova again, tho.

Oh and 22/02 is going to be such a good telly evening.

sunday papers

• OH MY GOD! WE'RE AN ITEM Celebrity Big Brother winner Chantelle Houghton has at last admitted she and housemate Preston are an item. And after weeks of public petting and flirting in the Big Brother house, it looks like the pair have finally HAD [a nice time].
• 'I DON'T GIVE A DAMN IF ANNE'S CHEATED ME..BUT I DO CARE THAT SHE'S CHEATED VIEWERS'
• CELEB FIT CLUB EXCLUSIVE
• CELEBRITY LOVE RAT ISLAND.. SERIAL love rat Brendan Cole is being lined up to star in the new series of Celebrity Love Island. TV bosses have offered the Strictly Come Dancing star £80,000 to work his charms on the women in the reality show.

Pete's wedding off shame. I was so looking forward to his dress

Miaow

CELEBRITY Big Brother star Rula Lenska is to become
the new face of a top cat food brand. The actress will this week sign a six-figure deal with the firm - believed to be Sheba - following her infamous TV pet role-playing session with maverick MP George Galloway.

do you dare me?

The Gorgeous One is coming to Manchester. Shall I go and miaow loudly at the back? It's like Bogies for grown-ups ...

New found fame and fortune

Big Brother turns Preston into an extraordinary boy:

"The songs Preston writes with guitarist William J Brown, there has always been an outright populism, as was apparent when the quartet struck up Talk Talk Talk from their debut. With amusing, direct lyrics about suburban ennui, it is catchy like an old Madness single, and eschews the more twisty-turny post-punk influences favoured by their peers.

They closed their five-song set with Boys Will Be Boys, which, with its rinky-dink organ sound, is also a bit too much like an old Madness single. Again, however, it's a memorable little tune, and if the Ordinary Boys keep churning out those, they will outlast the affections of their new-found teen audience."

Wonder if next year many on the fringe of success bands will be pushing their lead singers into CBB?
Yes I like the Ordinary oys... I always did. I prefer GLC but I do like Prestons Voice.
Wonder if the other band members really do mind that all those teenagers have turned up just to see Preston?
Probably not as the cash comes rolling in.

Beauty and the Geek

My new fav show. Beauty and the Geek. E4 on Tuesday nights. Last night saw 7 beauties with very little in the way of brain power, team up with 7 complete nerds in a Scottish castle.
Every week one couple will be evicted and the last couple will be the pair that have learnt the most from each other... I like the very brainy and total inept Edmund and the airhead Sam. This week they had to dance together and Sam had to answer questions... One of which was. How many brains does a monkey have and one girl said two!!
They share a bedroom together and have to gel to win the prize and stay in the show.
It's ace and fills a hole that CBB left.

Sugar and Spice

TV's Apprentice reveals new team

A former shop assistant, a lawyer and an ex-footballer are among the hopefuls competing in the second series of BBC Two programme The Apprentice.

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Among the contestants are Michelle Dewberry, 26, a former checkout girl who is now a telecoms consultant.

The programme will also feature Ansell Henry, 34, who used to play for Millwall FC, and management consultant Alexa Tilley, 28, the cousin of Little Britain star Matt Lucas.

Cancel all engagements for February 22nd!

do the LibDems really need more publicity?

Julia Goldsworthy, are you sure going on The Games is a totally good idea? I know there's no cat impressions invovled but there will be leotards.

Other tv shows I have been goggling at on itv2/sky3 repeats, from under the duvet on my sick bed lately:

Australian Princess: this is horrible, truly toe curlingly horrible. Paul Burrell is such a pompous little tit! As if the difference between a red wine goblet and a water goblet matters.

Project Catwalk: now this is (Liz Hurley excepted) good. Particularly loving the way the World's Campest Living Welshman rips everyone's designs apart at the end of each show. Liz's attempt at a catchphrase is just feeble. "You may now leave the catwalk" is hardly "You're fired!", is it?

Talking of which, much excitement (well as much as I can muster in my fevered state) as trailers for the new series of
the Apprentice spotted. Whooo whooo whooooooooooooooooo. (Miriam Staley remains our top search engine term, fact fans).

More excitement as Pete goes back into the charts at No. 5 hurrah




But, at the risk of adding the Wrath of Trin to my woes, can someone please tell me the difference between these two soundie-lookie-likies?

original vs ordinary

And finally ... Ann Diamond in Celeb Fat Club Stomach Staple Cheat Storm Shocker!

Pete in the mirror

CHANTELLE

I KNEW she was a porno model - but she kept swearing on her mother's life it wasn't true. She was a good liar. God help her future husband when she's out f***ing someone else. They're trying to make her the nation's sweetheart, but to me she is utterly nauseating. I don't begrudge her the few beans she'll earn. But she'll get chewed up and spat out. Then she'll become a lap dancer, even though she's a terrible dancer.

Much fun in the sunday mirror.

One week on

Parents may or may not call their babies Chantelle and/or Preston shocker! Preston may or may not be engaged shocker! (I'd guess not) Jordan and Chantelle have not posed topless together shocker!

Chantelle promoting Euro lottery. Look! She's dressed as a banker!

Pete's coat innocent!

No action over Burns' monkey coat

Just to clarify: Fur coats bad. Pete good.

Cowboy

I loved it when he fell over.