Thursday, November 08, 2007

I'm a celebrity contestants: a Guardianista's Guide

IAC line up announced in today's papers:
  • Anna Ryder Richardson: TV make-over expert, best known for her stint on BBC1's Changing Rooms.
  • Gemma Atkinson: Bikini-friendly former Hollyoaks actress who takes on the mantle of this year's obligatory tabloid 'babe'; unsurprisingly used to illustrate most of the papers' coverage today.
  • Rodney Marsh: Soccer star turned pundit; fired by Sky Sports after a "tasteless" on-air joke about the Asian tsunami.
  • Koo Stark: Former girlfriend of Prince Andrew - one for the Daily Mail crowd.
  • Malcolm McLaren: Punk impresario - this year's John Lydon.
  • Janice Dickinson: Self-professed 'world's first supermodel', recently seen on America's Next Top Model and something on Living; unkindly described as "ageing" by the Mail this morning.
  • Cerys Matthews: Former lead singer of Welsh band Catatonia.
  • Marc Bannerman: You remember, he used to be in EastEnders as Gianni di Marco. Tastefully told the Mirror this morning that he had been "nibbling on his cat's bollocks" in preparation for eating kangaroos' testicles.
  • Katie Hopkins: The Apprentice's superbitch.
  • Jason 'J' Brown: Was in boyband 5ive, a late-90s popular beat combo.
  • Christopher Biggins: professional panto artiste and former Rent-a-Ghost favourite.
  • Richard and Fred Fairbrass: Lead singers in Right Said Fred, still big in Germany; prepare yourself for endless variations on the 'we are too sexy for this show' theme; being seen as one person by the programme, like Samanda were in Big Bro.
  • Lynne Franks: PR guru and the alleged inspiration behind Ab Fab.
  • John Burton Race: Who, you might ask? He is a Michelin-starred chef, apparently.

Christopher Biggins? Malcom McLaren??? Koo Stark should be good value.

1 comment:

Jude said...

I think Cerys and Gemma will be new best friends...unless they hate each other. I hope Katie Hopkins is deffo on it.