Speaking of mad googly eyes, I'm now obsessed with Katie Hopkins from The Apprentice (Wed, 9pm, BBC1) - the bitchiest, most venomous contestant in the show's history. Apparently played by the old Spitting Image puppet of the Queen, wearing a blonde wig and glowing pale-blue contact lenses, Katie enjoys sticking the knife into her fellow contestants so much, she can't help smiling as she slags them off to camera. I can't help imagining if one of the others accidentally fell down the stairs, and lay at the bottom in a broken-necked comatose heap, she'd stand at the top grinning like a carnival mask and frantically rubbing her mimsy till the ambulance arrived. There's something unholy about her, like a possessed Ermintrude. Lord help Sir Alan if he finally decides to fire her. Her head'll start revolving and spewing green vomit. Here's hoping Nick Hewer carries a crucifix in his pocket.
Qu'es-ce que c'est le 'mimsy'?