it's Ifti all over again

American woman and her jazzoid husband should've been fired closed for trying to foist a jazz band on their poor guests. But it was The Scottish Couple (Chris & Jade) who went, cos they missed Scotland boo hoo hoo aww bah. Bah I hates it when people are pathetic and throw in the towel cos they miss their mum/kid/homeland/teddy. If you're finding it hard because of those kind of things, then do the decent thing and leave, don't wait until you're about to get fired anyway and then start wibbling.

kitchen apprentice

Well I tried to watch the first The Apprentice Restaurant last night, but as I was simulatenously attempting to master the rules of YuGiOh, I couldn't give it my full atention (clips on the website but not showing up on BBC iPlayer boo). Most of the contestants seem promising point-and-laugh-at-the-twunts material, but it is a complete rip-off of homage to The Apprentice, complete with same narrator, same incidental music, and boss's all-seeing sidekicks. Also I don't approve of Raymond Blanc's non-shouty approach. The swearing and the humiliation, tis what we watch the reality teevee for. (I approve of his food tho).

True Hell in the Kitchen

Jim Davidson joins 'Hell's Kitchen'.
'Nuff said. Sigh.

We can work for the bloody money

Poor scrapheap Carole... brave Gerry... an emotional BB night... or not... I hope Freddy isn't being evicted as well. Monkety-Tunkety is still there anyway.

Pete Burns joy

Presenting Big Mouth this week and due to be on Wife Swap.

'Citing new thing

Gerry says you can see the showers and the toilet on the internet feed. I'd like to complain mine seems to just feature people talking in a caravan and occasionally a bedroom.

Get Gerry out

He's driving me mad, he is still whining about Laura, how awful she was but also how they all thought she was so popular because of her personality and her sense of humour. Umm the personality and sense of humour you and most of the house hated... I liked it when he hoovered up Monkety-Tunkety though. Death to Monkety Tunkety. When Jonty is waving him at the twins it's like Sexual Harassment Panda is in the BB house.

Someone calm me down

Rumours that Chanelle is returning in some form are annoying me.

That's the way aha aha

BB3 housemates Alex and Adele are in the BB house it's for a task they're not staying but how odd. Alex! Adele! Brian and Kara Louise are doing the task with them, Brian is unsurprisingly loving it. Brian - 'this is better than meeting Jennifer Lopez' I quite agree.

In other news the twins are now one housemate... non surprise they will be leaving together.

please not

I'm a celebrity next series contestant rumours ....

• Gazza
• Katie BadMan Hopkins
• Barrymore
• Sally Psychic Morgan
• Pete yawn Doherty

... all according to that impeccable source 'insiders told the Daily Star'
oh and also Charley & Chanelle to be on Strictly Come Dancing.

Dance X

Is the worst programme EVER. I think the only fun will be Bruno losing every single week. Arlene's group singing the Chili Peppers is the worse thing I have ever heard. I can't believe they have scrapped Strictly Dance Fever for this rubbish.

Welsh news

on my holidays in lovely Pembrokeshire, where there is much reality teevee happenings. Sadly I found out about Connie's personal appearance in her home town(ish) too late to go along, but I did see many (many) trailers on the tellybox for Glyn's Eisteddfod news and Big Welsh Challenge.

Deal with it BB house

Yay Tracey's still there.

Noms

David, Shanessa, Tracey and Kara-Louise...

I hate this week and all these twists just to get out who the people behind BB want out. They've just made it up as they went along, they haven't done what was announced on BBLB, they just changed it all.

By all this I mean SAVE TRACEY!

Poor Tracey

In the house next door with David, Shannesa and umm the other one. What the point of all this backward and forwarding to the other house has been for I don't know. Except it was always going to be Tracey or Carole up for the vote me thinks. I hope Tracey stays.

I'm not exactly believing this unbelievably contrived Liam and Amy thing. I hope she tells him to feck off and soon. Ziggy and Liam are the enemy they must be destroyed... mostly Liam, I'm trying to recruit for my anti Liam club.

Hair news

Chanelle has had her hair done by 'David Beckham's stylist' was it Aidee from The Salon? I imagine channel 4 have him on call, why didn't they get that bloke who was on Celebrity Scissorhands he 'invented' the Pob.

In boring 'house not hair' news Liam is in the HWH/house next door as Shanessa (god help us) won the jack in the box task and is in the main house and she chose Liam to go next door.