the Lord will provide

I do wish Graham Norton would stop talking in reverential tones about "The Lord". Whenever he does it I assume it's a God reference, not such an absurd thought given that Joseph is a bible story and the last time Graham was funny was as Father Noel. But no, he is referring to much more important person than than, he's referring to Andrew LW himself.

Rubbish Gerri was unsurprisingly fired from the Apprentice this week. But stand by for another "do these people not watch the show?" moment as the girls (some of) decide to raise money by sellng themselves on the street kisses in pubs. Yeah that's a good way to promote the role of women in business and we know from previous series how much Sir A likes business women getting their tits oot. Jadine (yay) was one of the dissenters who didn't want to pimp her sisters, while Kristina looked appalled at the accusation of being a feminist, and nice poshos Kate and Paul got soppy.

Deadline had a double sacking last week, maybe they will mirror the apprentice again with a blossoming romance this?

Any Joseph will do

First I have to mention the HORROR that is grease is the word I think itv should be shut down because of the HIDEOUSNESS of the 'laugh at the mad people' audition shows. I liked the stammer bloke though.

But JOSEPH JOSEPH JOSEPH or whatever it is called is the best thing ever. I'm fairly sure one of the curlies will win and probably Rob, I am fond of Seamus though as he is 35 and everyone seems to hate him. I like Keith too mostly as he works in Tesco with his Mam and girlfriend, which is slightly different to Rob (already working in musicals) and Seamus (asked to sing with Madonna at Live 8).

Other reality tee vee I am enjoying includes deadline (even though it is encouraging my Abi Titmuss love), shipwrecked (I'm looking forward to tonight's as it seems male Jo gets to visit the other island so hopefully more airtime for male Jo) and search for the next pussycat doll which is brilliant (the choreographer seems to be Just Jack from W&G).

And omg what is happening on castaway they are bullying my Jon.

Jonathan spends the next few hours watching Hassan as he struggles down the hill to Banishment Beach, passing commentary on his every move.

Hassan pushes doggedly through, spitting down at Jonathan, who has been sitting on the beach waiting.

"It has to go down as a classic moment in my life," Jonathan says.

That made me laugh. But all the camp have turned against him except young Al and maybe Joe Chicken. Ken went absolutely mental.

Over on American idol Sanjaya was ace this week I couldn't stop smiling and sniggering, it was nice to see him actually be good again. I like this

Democratic presidential hopeful Hillary Rodham Clinton was asked during a WOKQ-FM radio call-in what could be done about American Idol finalist Sanjaya Malakar.

How do you solve a problem like Sanjaya? I'd like that programme.

not the Apprentice

Deadline, tis not the Apprentice but is still good value. It has the same attraction as the Apprentice, ie you get to hate every single contestant every single week, they are all vile. Aaargh when they say "eek I can't pap people, I hate paps" yeah like who knew you'd be expected to pap slebs? How bizarre that working on a sleb magazine run by annoying hair-don't 'king of the paps' and a Daily Star hack would be more Heat than Newsnight. JSP is very scary, her face has been moulded out of plastic. And a big Hurrah for ITV Play, since the phone in scandal it has turned into ITV2+1 so you don't have to miss any Deadline while watching You're Fired on a Wed.

My not-gay son is now a big fan of the weekly Andrew LW advertorial that is Joseph. I am scared that we might have to go and see the flippin' show (on which I am word perfect, we did a performance of it at school).

The Apprentice of course rocks. Hurrah for Rory getting fired last week, I always particularly enjoy the posh ones getting shafted. Ifti had to go, too. I am liking Tre in a panto-villain way (and he does seem to do some work and get stuff done). I hope The Boring One doesn't win this year, whoever that may be (see "Saira was robbed by Tim" and "The Badger was robbed by Michelle"). So far Jadine is being shown as this year's "feisty woman who will get slagged off for being a pushy ball busting bitch" but tis early days yet.