I bet

Ofcom dread BB starting nowadays. 4,500 complaints and rising.

I wish

Endemol would clear this up. If it's being reported around the world I think they should say what Jack said that was bleeped out.

Well done Dave Gorman

Calling Jackiey borderline racist much to Dermot's displeasure on BBLB. The spirit of Saskia is alive in the BB house once more with Jade and Danielle (and Jo boo).

In better news the Steps tribute task looks hilarious.

I feel like I've gone back in time

I HATE Jade. I also hate Danielle and Jack. I hope Teddy dumps her. I hope Shilpa wins. The booing of her last night followed by the 'row' made me want to thump them all.

Urgh

Danielle saying her and Jade were best mates when Jade had said previously that they'd met three times. Someone is lying. That row between Shilpa and Jade and Danielle it was so rubbish and convenient for BB as there seemed to be 5 - 10 mins to fill! Like Jade has been told to start fighting... Leo's walking is the best bit of the series it was hilarious. Not so funny Jade and her toyboy in bed shown on BBBM. EWW EWW EWW EWW I may be scarred for life.

I think even I'm bored of BB now...

'Citing

Look what I just ordered from t'library.

By the time it comes I will have no interest.

Another one

Leo has gone! On the tv it says he 'escaped'. What will happen now with the eviction? Ooh...

Julien's back!

Being a fickle cow with a short attention span, I am bored of CBB now. Actually I'm bored of all the stoopid twisty turny things they do to make it 'better' and I'm way bored of Jade et al. But most of all I'm scared of the amount of time the feckin show takes up these days. To do it justice you have to do BBLB (half an hour), the highlights show (1 hour) and BBBM (half an hour). That's 2 hours a day commitment even before you add in the live coverage available to a work-at-home digibox owning gal. What I'm trying to say is, I'm too much of a lightweight to give CBB the attention it deserves.

So hurrah for return of Project Catwalk, one hour a week max of The Joy of Bitching masterclass. Very silly task last night, tho: make a dress for TPT out of some other dress. Christine got the push, but it should've been Tymoor for making a bad dress and having a ludicrous name. Ludicrous names are over-represented on the show, although normally named Fetish Designer of the Year Wayne won with a dress that showed the model's @rse. I think Monica's dress was bestest meself.

Note to Sky tho, finishing your PC2 site before the show launches would be good, as 'undefined' splashed all over your webpage is so not a good look. Oh and also de-red-eyeing people's photos, that would be good too. Maybe even employing a photographer to take the pics to avoid red-eye (cos hey it's so hard to find one in fashionland). Where's our attention to detail, people? Julien would be apalled.

In other news: my 7 year old can barely contain himself now he's started seeing trailers for the return of Dancing on Ice.

Next!

Carole, Dirk and Leo up for eviction for tomorrow. I'm sure Dirk is safe enough. You'd expect Carole to go but Leo has annoyed everyone it could be him. I hope it is. Malone hasn't suffered enough for me yet.

Why isn't Jack up? Has everyone forgotten he's there? I did hear him speak last night so he is alive. Jackiey's eviction interview was awful. Really awful I just wanted it to stop. I didn't quite understand the full horror of what it would be like to live with her until it happened. Her swimming cossie was possibly the highlight of the series though.

I feel the need to rate the housemates

Cleo Rocos - number one, TPT on BBLB complete madness as usual
Dirk Benedict - he should marry Cleo
Ian 'H' Watkins - I love Steps, pregnant Claire on BBLB aww...
Jo O'Meara - and S Club
Shilpa Shetty - I think me and Shilpa are over
Jermaine Jackson - I quite like
Danielle Lloyd - model can only get an old footballer
Leo Sayer - I don't like him but the whole thing is funny
Jade - Jade
Jack - pretty
Carol Malone - cow

If you can't take the Heat ...

... stay off of the Buzzcocks. Silly old Preston stormed off Buzzcocks in a huff cos the mop-headed one took the pish out of Chantelle. D'oh (1) Chantelle's 'career' is built on her nice-but-dim image. D'oh (2) have you not seen the show on the tellybox Preston? The host's job is to mock the contestants. Happens every week. Not nice to have your wife mocked, I know, but if you don't like don't go on Buzzcocks. Oh and probably better counsel her against writing her autobiography, too.

Day 6 rate the housemates

Shilpa Shetty - promising
Cleo Rocos - yes I like her now
Dirk Benedict - beginning to be Shilpa stalker
Danielle Lloyd - hair extensions
Jo O'Meara - wishes she was at the bingo
Jackiey - marjorie dawes sherpa? shergar?
Ian 'H' Watkins - looks better with hair brushed back
Jade - the sensible one of the family
Jack - pretty
Jermaine Jackson - bemused
Carol Malone - cow
Leo Sayer - should stay mute

Just the soapstar superstar of us

How rubbish. Just like last year on 'just the two of us' some really awful woman who can't sing (this time Hannah Waterman) and some bloke who a lot of women like (this year Marti Pellow) won even though they were awful. Poor Brendan second on Love Island and second on this. I did like his and Beverley's desperation to win, made me laugh a lot.

Talking of rubbish singing competitions, 'soapstar superstar' isn't any better. I can't decide which is worse. At least on the BBC show it's just a laugh (apart from Brendan who takes everything seriously I think) on ITV they seem to think they are there to discover an actual singer!

badman

very badman. Sleeping with someone else's someone is one thing but blarting it all over the tabs for them to read when they get out of the BB house is something else. Unless it is all part of some bigger plot which Leo is in on and he'll be dueting with Donny after the show.

do you know who I am?

The 'how does Donny know Leo?' riddled solved, allegedely, by Sunday Mirror which reports Danny was doing the nasty with Leo's wife. Tsk. Meanwhile Donny's mam is all worried about him. And a column by Carol tsk tsk.

In other Sunday tabs news, News of the Screws has usual 'woman enjoys sex' shock horror badman sells story cr@p

And Sunday wouldn't be Sunday without Cameron's BB thoughts in god's own newspaper, the Sunday Post.

I know I’d grab the opportunity to go back in myself if invited — if only to meet The Face!

What I reckon to the celebs so far . . .

JERMAINE JACKSON. Admits he is obsessively germ-phobic, so the producers would have been hoping for conflict with Donny Tourette whose habits were not so hygienic. Even if Don hadn’t gone, I doubt whether that would have happened. Jermaine seems too laid-back to spark confrontation. Looks perpetually bemused.

JO O’MEARA. One of my early favourites. Anyone who breeds dogs must be a good egg and I’m a pushover for a girl with a crooked front tooth. It says she’s not plastic.

IAN “H” WATKINS. “Came out” about his sexuality before going in, which was shrewd. He’ll be able to sell his story about that if nothing else when he emerges. His manic giggling is irritating, and then there was THAT joke. What do you call a three-legged mule? A wonky donkey. Puh-lease!

LEO SAYER. Very sunny disposition even when sharing a bed with a naked Donny. Why he would leave Sydney in summer for Borehamwood in January is beyond me, but I love watching him.

SHILPA SHETTY. People keep telling me this 31 year-old veteran of 50 Bollywood films actually comes from Glasgow. The Shettleston Shettys perhaps? Reportedly getting paid £345,000 for her appearance, though other sources say the top wage is £65,000.

CAROLE MALONE. Feisty old bird who claims to be 47. I have my doubts. If the redoubtable columnist finds a worthy sparring partner she’ll be a great-value housemate and I’d like to see her go the distance.

KEN RUSSELL. Approaching 80, he’s the combined ages of Danielle, Jade and Jo — with some to spare. Has the capacity to be cantankerous and earthy.

DANIELLE LLOYD. Seems to be “doing a Jodie Marsh”, saying she is in the house so people can “see the real me”. Let’s hope the WAG makes less of a pig’s ear of it than Miss Nose-job. Apparently has an A level in Chemistry and wanted to go into forensic science. Too bad “Forensics” isn’t a designer shop.

DIRK BENEDICT. Has gone in with a healthy self-deprecating attitude — and I loved his arrival in an armoured van. Even so, I’m still not sure why they have all these Americans in the house.

CLEO ROCOS. She reminds me of a nicer-natured Ruby Wax. Describes herself as a “happy doodle on God’s telephone pad”, which says it all.

Well, tarra for noo!

Tarra Cam and if ever in doubt, remember WWFSMD?


Non-BB news: Project Catwalk starts on Sky 1 tomorrow but I got no evil Murdoch-vision on my tellybox so yay for Sky 3 where Kelly will be in all her glory on Thursday at 9.

Next out

It's very bad news, Ken has gone. Boooooooooooo. Jade's grandparents are popping in for dinner tonight... I expect Carole Malone to stage a Antony Worrall Thompson I'm a celeb type protest soon.

Donny gonny

Donny has gone. Now can I pretend I never saw him in the first place please?

Carol Malone is head butler the right thing for someone who spends their life looking down on other people and being a silly cow. Ahem. Still don't like her. She will pay for her crimes against Anne Diamond on Celebrity Fit Club the big bully.

Miss Liverpool is a peasant. That's her job role not my opinion.

Jade's boyfriend is rather attractive. Which disturbs me.

work it baby

Poor Ken's not getting much of a rest. Leo's been pitching his film ideas at him and H has been asking for acting advice. At least Film4 are showing Women in Love, give the old codge a few coppers in the pension fund.

Mrs Teddy Sheringham

Miss Liverpool is screeching about her shoes. I think she thinks if she's evicted (they've packed their bags and fake crowd noises are being played) Carol and Cleo will prance around in them and stretch them as she is obviously the only woman ever to have posh shoes. I mean how could they possibly have posh shoes they don't date a footballer do they?

Day 3 rankings by me (subject to change by the hour)

Dirk Benedict < I quite like
Ken Russell < like lots I like Ken n Dirks chats
Jo O'Meara < don't stop moving to the funky funky beat

top 3 by a mile then the others

Ian 'H' Watkins < needs Pete Waterman in the house
Danielle Lloyd < shoes n bags n stuff
Shilpa Shetty < quite above all this kerfuffle
Leo Sayer < I'm unsure I'm just glad someone gave poor Jo a bed
Cleo Rocos < new Rula Lenska I think I'm just jealous of her face
Carol Malone < cow
Jermaine Jackson < boring
Donny Tourette < hideous posh berk

Jade and Jackiey and co

I think I'm going to hate Jade's boyfriend. What a surprise! Maybe he'll hit someone... Sez in The Mirror

He is also on bail until March 7 after being arrested on suspicion of assaulting a 16-year-old teenager.

It's all a bit 'Back To Reality' I liked that programme. I was recently AHEM reading Jade's book (shush) which brought it all back, she fell out with Jeff just before going into the BTR house and then Jeff turned up after a few days then Jade was rushed to hospital and she was pregnant... In other news... Cleo is friends with 'Dr' McKeith. Booooooooooo. I don't like Cleo, helping out the posh pretend punk is a bad thing.

good lord

My jaw is still dropped from the appearance of Ken 'hatstand' Russell on CBB. Mad as a box of frogs, hopefully. Here's hoping he shows Donny the true meaning of crazee, as his rock-god posturings are so last century. And his hair is very bad.

Meanwhile in the great "Steps vs S-Club" debate, I am in the S-Club camp. I always loved "Reach for the stars".

Unlike most other people, I have quite high hopes of this CBB. Maybe it's me age. Cleo Rochas (I remembers her on Kenny Everett), Leo Sayer (his was one of the 3 albums my parents owned that dated from after 1965), Jermaine Jackson. And Ken (I am apparantly one of the few people who's watched any of his films apart from Tommy).

Not looking forward to the arrival of the Goodys tonight tho. I'd much rather it was the other Goodies, a day in the black pudding mines would be a great task.