disappointing

Both the firer and the fire-ee were v. poor on last night's Apprentice. As the BraLady said on You're Fired, Shazia totally did not deserve to get fired on the strength of her performance in the task but she totally did on the her performance in the board room. She was too meek and mild, she should have been fighting her corner and telling Sir A how it was her who set up the laundry tracking system, that Jenny shouldn't've let her go if she didn't understand how to work out whose pants were whose, that it was her idea to iron at home and that they would still have lost even if the shirts weren't lost, because the team didn't get enough business and Jenny spent hours lecturing everyone instead of minutes ringing round to find out how much laundry costs. Jenny should've been fired for that, and for accepting Lindi's bizarre 24 hour pants hotline idea and Lindi's even worse asking for tips idea. I completely loved how Margaret dropped that in the board room.

As for the great Jenny - Lucinda fracas, it's very hard to work out from the edit who is really the nutter here, quite possibly both (or neither - unlikely but possible). So far I'm not liking any of them much, except possibly Simon for his experience of washing pants under fire. But I think he blew his chances of winning by saying he was the NCO to Raef's officer.

happy days are here again

Huzza! for the new series of the Apprentice wot have started last night. And huzzah for this year's bunch of tossers shaping up nicely to be an even bigger bunch of tossers than previous series. (Unfortunately I missed the first 15 mins (boo hiss) and due to the death of my laptop [minute's slience] can't watch again or watch the contestant clips on the website).

Obv Nicholas needed to get fired for being a pretentious arse and for slagging off oiks, football and salesmen in front of Sir A - I was surprised no-one on You're Fired picked up on his sneering references to salesmen. In a way it was a shame for him to go so early tho, hours more entertainment to be had from pointing and laffing at him. Oh and love those mirror shades, Nicholoas. They look particularly good in a tv studio. I was surprised he didn't walk on set of You're Fired to the strains of I fought the law¹. Cos he clearly wasn't in it for the job.

Now you'll never know what it's like to work for Sir Alan...
That's true, but I leave with a mixture of disappointment and relief. He and I are like chalk and cheese. I would feel very uncomfortable working under him. I'm far more comfortable being self employed, so my role as a barrister will be perfect.

What's next for Nicholas de Lacy-Brown?
I'm at an important point in my life, I begin pupillage, the next stage in my career as a barrister, in October, and I am showing 40 of my canvasses at my own art exhibition, to be held in Mayfair in May. I've created a special artwork called Nicholas in the Renaissance based on my experiences in The Apprentice.

Arse. Mind you Raef has fantastic tosser potential. Public schoolboy and former estate agent, what's not to hate? Tis why I love the Apprentice, it's so cathartic. Oh and would someone tell Kevin's headmaster he's bunking off school to be on tv? Good luck to Margaret with her PhD in Papyrology. We :heart: Margaret.


Project Catwalk finished last week (at least for us poor freeviewers) and obv Jasper won being as he was the only one with a real talent. Bleurgh at the milking to death of the gayer winning his family's lurve thro fashion, tho. Hahahahaha to Chelsey who after all those weeks of bitching about Viv, couldn't get her collection finished on time (good on her for using some non-stick-thin models tho). Bring on the next season of Project Runway! (and bring back Julien for next year's Catwalk).


1. Alan Patridge/Radio 4 reference there for the teenagers

Sport Relief Does The Apprentice

Blokes - Phil Tufnell (blokey) Nick Hancock (quizy) Lembit Opik MP (cheeky) and ex-Sun editor Kelvin MacKenzie (Piers Morgany).

Womenz - Kirstie Allsopp (bossy), Lisa Snowdon (modely) Clare Balding (excellent) Louise Redknapp (waggy) and Ann Summers chief Jacqueline Gold (she hates Katie Hopkins which is good enough for me.

From the BBC...

Each team will be given empty adjoining stores in London's West End and told to come up with names and stock them with items they think will make the most profit.

Sounds like Wags Boutique (R.I.P).

On the American Celeb Apprentice last week they did QVC, always a good task. Piers Morgan still in.

Sluts!

Blimey they are a load of slags in the BB USA house. I love it! You can watch it online at realitytvfan.org... which is good as my Thursdays are chocka with Catwalk and American Idol. Talking of AI woe is me they didn't put that geeky bloke (Kyle) through. Me sad. Plus the Grace Kelly bloke he should of got through.

USA BB on E4

Starting soon. I'm very much watching that... if I can fit it in to my busy catwalkmodelidol watching.

Bye Bye BBCH

I have enjoyed you! I think probably because I've always wanted stuff like bands to play in the house and celebs dropping in to happen on BB as this stuff seems to happen on other big bruvs but not ours. I'm not sure who is going to win in fact I have no clue which is good. The faves throughout have been Anthony and John but Amy is in the running... or is she... I hope so. It's hard to tell as DS like Amy and the fave there tends to come about 3rd or 4th. I don't want Anthony to win or Jezza or Nathan. I imagine Emilia can't win because she wears shorts and is gorgeous.

Jimmy Carr's highjack was genius putting them in a line and not saying what order he's put them in was ace (it was height they thought it was greediness and lots of other random things).

And bye bye Dermot... his last BBLB tonight... I'm not looking forward to Davina coming back to the live shows. Urgh.

Good luck Amy and John! 1st and 2nd would be good either way.

Roseanne Barr!

I'm slightly starstruck and surprised the housemates know who she is. Except AnTHony who was muttering about 'Roxanne from Moulin Rouge...' I can't stand to hear AnTHony speak since the Hollyoaks day when his ego exploded. I kind of 'like' Emilia sort of in an evil way but I hope she goes tonight to annoy Jeremy Alan Partridge.